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Hi! I am Nixie and my name basically means "water sprite" or "water nymph" from Germanic folklore. My nickname "Nix" means "to reject". Replace 'i' with 'y' and I become the goddess of the night in Greek mythology.
Aside from finding the significance of my name to my life, my interests lie in literature. I love reading books especially fantasy ones with a lot of action and a dash of romance. Sometimes, I try to put my thoughts into paper and hope to become a novelist someday. When you don't find me reading, you can either find me drawing crude portraits or tucked inside my blanket.
“Serna, you sit there,” my 2nd grade teacher said as she gestured her manicured hand to a light – blue desk at the far end of the classroom near the exit door. It was the first day of school and she was arranging our seats by alphabetical order of our family names. Mine starts with the 19th letter of the alphabet therefore, it was expected that I would sit at the back. I remember putting my bag and belongings on my desk and acquainted myself with my new seat. Upon facing front, it was then that I noticed something unusual. There were illegible scribbles written all over the chalkboard. However, to my surprise after squinting my eyes and leaning a bit closer, they were actually fractions and numbers for our Math class. It was weird but I just shrugged off the experience thinking it was just an effect of sitting at the back of the class and delighted myself with my new school supplies. That was the first memory that comes into my mind when I try to recall the moment I started to have a blurry eyesight. Myopia, nearsightedness or shortsightedness is an eye condition in which light focuses in front of instead on, the retina. It makes the distant objects appear blurry but become normal when they are close. As a person who suffers from this eye condition, the world becomes like a pixelated low quality movie. “Struggle is real.” This line from an Internet meme perfectly sums up my experience as a nearsighted person. Oftentimes, I would find myself into embarrassing situations like getting lost in public places, walking straight into glass doors or waving to a person who is actually waving to the person behind me much to my mortification. In classes, the PowerPoint presentations and visual aids of my classmates are not much of an aid at all and the words on a chalkboard look like squiggly worms doing a dance routine in my eyes that trigger a pounding in my skull. I actually wear prescription glasses that help me focus my eyesight in looking at distant objects. However, wearing one is a nightmare itself which is why I often take it off whenever possible. I hate the sensation of metal and glass jutting out of my eyeballs, the way it leaves deep indentations on my nose bridge and the never absent fingerprint smudges on the lenses. But still, I always get a “mini – heart attack” whenever I misplace them. Nothing compares to the anxiety when a myopic person forgets where she puts her eyeglasses not only because she cannot see clearly but because it is very clear how much a new pair can burn a hole in someone's wallet. However, despite the downsides of not having a crystal clear vision, my blurry vision has given me a different perspective in seeing the world. I may not easily see details but I have come to see little things like the bounce of a classmate's step as she walks down the hallway, the way a friend's hand always strays to her backpack strap or the way a person scratches his head in confusion. I have come to see the people around me not on the way they look but on their nuances that give away who they really are. While images and the outward physical appearance of people appear blurry to me, I see more clearly than how people think I do. I will not deny that I do get jealous of normal sighted people sometimes. They will never feel the burden of having an annoying contraption in front of their eyes for the rest of their life or accidentally poking their irises trying to put on contact lenses every day while running late. They will never always have to sit at the front row during class discussions. They will never experience the constant fear of breaking an eyewear during sports in Physical Education. Yet, I am grateful for the sight that I have for I learned to look at the world not as what it is but for the things that make it what it is. “Nixie!” a high – pitched voice calls me. I look around the hallway and see a figure coming towards me. Her face is a blank canvas yet to be painted of its features by my eyes for she is still far away but there is no mistaking of her gait, the rounded shoulders and the curves that hug her body. Without hesitation, I raise my hand in a wave and smile at my friend.
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