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LATHIFA MILLATI SAIFULLAH

To life is to learn. To let go is to let grow.

Blitar, Indonesia

I am a girl from Blitar town Indonesia who passionate in writing. I do really love writing poems when I am overthinking. It helps me a lot to feel better. My writings are also my self reflection.

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After the first COVID-19 case in Indonesia was confirmed in March 2020, most people were panic. Mask and hand sanitizer became rare. Some people seemed egoistic. They were panic buying; so that left others with nothing. It is so tragic knowing that health facility in my country still needs improvement. So many doctors and nurses were died because of the minimal protection. In contrast, some people were captured of wearing Medical Personal Protective Equipment for shopping. Moreover, there are still Covidiots outside there that snatch the dead bodies of corona suspects from the medical staffs. That is heartbreaking! Due to this pandemic, almost all aspects in our life must change. We all are forced to adapt as soon as possible; so that we can survive. We must massively transform our ways of socialization. It is still weird, until today, whenever I meet other people but I cannot shake their hand or hug them. It is not something new that we can communicate via video call or chatting due to the rise of internet and technology; however, it is still weird for me whenever I should attend online meeting although my colleagues and I are in the same town. Beside some modifications in the way of our communication, this COVID-19 pandemic also wake our awareness of healthy life up. So many people, including me, become more hygienic and healtier than before. I must wear mask and/or face shield whenever I go outside home, wash my hands more than ten times in a day, spray all stuffs I bring, take a shower every time I go home, wash my clothes although I wear it for once, limit the frequency of buying cooked food, and add the frequency of sunbathing and doing exercise. For the first time in the world, we are suggested to learn, work and pray from home, almost all of the tourism destinations in the world are closed, so many international flights are banned, more and more people are jobless, and we face serious issue about tackling hoaxes. I, personally, was stressed due to the great impact of pandemic. As a Muslim, it is heartbreaking for me to cancel iftar together with friends in Ramadhan and celebrate Idul Fitri without the whole member of my big family and friends. We have no choice, but long distance relationship and use the art-of-the-state technology to support our communication. Besides, I also cancel to join two youth competitions that mean so much for me due to this condition. Day by day, I try hard to find my inner peace and to let go of the thing I cannot catch due to the condition I cannot choose. I keep my self busy by joining so many webinars and online courses and reading some books; so that I can control my stress during self quarantine. Although COVID-19 pandemic is not something I ever wish, this brings the most important thing in my life, a will to re-evaluate my life. As no one knows when their lives end, most people are forget to find the most important things in their life. Most people keep busy all day long, but still feel worthless in the end of the day. "Let it flow" is like an unconscious motto for some. Lucky me that finally I can start my freelance work as executor of mayor election; so that I have a reason to go outside. I feel like a caveman after staying at home for more than a full month. Though I must work by using COVID-19 protocol, such as wearing mask and face shield, bringing hand sanitizer everywhere I go, and stay away at least one meter from others; I am happy of having conversations with random people due to my job. I never guess that in this difficult time, most people I meet can still show their kindness to me. For example, when I looked like confused to find out some addresses, some people initiated to ask what I was looking for and accompanied me to meet the people I mentioned. I also meet other actions of kindness that is initiated by some youths in my hometown who collect donation and give it to the needy. This is not only going on around my environment, but also in online platform. So many people raise donation to help medical staff and the one who need help in creative ways, ranging from holding online charity concert to designing for charity. Since I do not want to be left behind in doing something useful for my life and other's, in this difficult time, I start the dream I postponed for long period, starting culinary business. It is more than profit that I want to reach, but happiness for struggling dreams and sharing happiness by serving my cooking. Besides, I also actively sharing the knowledge I got from webinars and online courses freely in my social media and chat group. To sum up, for me, COVID-19 is humanity test for human. I do believe that there are so many things we can learn from this natural selection. I do believe that the population of good people still dominate the world. Just because I cannot touch your hand, does not mean we cannot keep in touch. Just because I cannot touch your hand, does not mean we cannot hand in hand. Solidarity will prevail.

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