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THERE IS A WORM IN MY TEA
Jan 31, 2026 6 months agoThe blanket started to feel uncomfortable, I shrugged it off, the sun had risen, the alarm had gone off and my heart felt cold. I opted for tea instead of coffee, and for some reason I regretted it, that made me a little disappointed in myself because my wife recommended tea through out her time she spent with me, we don't see each other now, she died. And my heart longs to be warm, like my hand longs for her touch, my figure for her gaze and my soul for her soul, there's really not much to say, I live with the memories of my wife in my head. I finish the cup of tea, and then I walk upstairs and I open a door, the door to the first room you see as you climb up the stairs. It's Evelyn's. And Evelyn is my daughter. "Daddy?" She sees me almost immediately. "How are you?" Words feel heavy on my tongue, it's been a year since losing her, but I haven't gained myself. "I'm alright daddy" The room then fell silent, our conversations always get shorter by the day. "Daddy, Aren't we forgetting something?" I stay silent trying to remember but nothing comes to mind. "What's that eve?" "It's my birthday dad, I'm sixteen today " Dad. I hate when she calls me that, it means she's upset or disappointed and right now I think it's both. "Evelyn-" "Dad it's okay" "I'm so sorry" The room felt silent again. "I'll wait downstairs, put something on, I'm taking you out" *** Evelyn did not put much effort into what she wore, it was a polka dot gown and some sandals, her hair was in a bun. "You look great princess" I said as I kissed her forehead. We headed to the car and I drove, the car was silent for a while until Evelyn spoke. "It's all my fault" Evelyn said out of the blue. "What do you mean?" "I wish I didn't go to school that day, it was my birthday anyway I should've just stayed home" "Evel-" "Dad, can we not avoid this anymore, I hate this, this loud silence, thi- dad I want us to live again, mom is gone, and we need to accept that. And we also need to accept that it's my fault, dad I'm sorry I went out that day, if I hadn't gone, mom would've still been here and you would be alright" Evelyn was in tears as she said those lines. And I felt ashamed of myself for not being strong for my daughter, for making her feel that way. I parked the car right outside a park, and reached out to hug her, I hesitated a bit, her teary face made my hear clench, then I reached for her shoulder softly and pulled her in, she stayed still for her, then gave in "I'm so sorry, and it's not your fault" I whispered as I gently patted her head. The atmosphere grew lighter, the wind blew her hair lightly, and I was there to wipe her tears. We stayed in the park for a while and ate ice cream, then we went back home, when we got home, we watched a movie and laughed about it and it felt nice and I drank my usual coffee and that felt nice too. It felt nice to move on, to live for the ones you love.
