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I am an amateur photographer and word nerd. I’m known for my correct spelling and ability to take great photos. I also enjoy writing poetry. Kayaking, fishing and hiking are some of my favorite outdoor activities.
We all want it. Our forefathers envisioned it and wrote about it in the annals of history and our military still uphold it. Freedom. An online dictionary defines freedom as, "the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint." It can be a bit of a catch-22. How desirable is it? There are many quips and quotes that sound good such as, "Just do it", or "Be the change you want to see" or better yet, "Don't wait. The time will never be just right". Right? I decided, for the millionth time, that I was completely dissatisfied with a job I'd held for over 5 years. It was a good job and I liked my coworkers. But the old saying, "life is short' kept running through my head. So I quit my job. I didn't have another one lined up but knew I'd find something. And I did! I found a great job with a new company and loved it there! Then the bottom fell out. My boss called me into her office and closed the door. Never a good sign. After 7 glorious months with this company she said that due to restructuring I was being laid off. I sat there in mind-numbing disbelief. I told myself that I would be okay. One can hope. Maybe half of the people in the world have had a somewhat traditional goal to meet someone, fall in love and get married. Or to be in a committed relationship. And they love it. However, they might not notice the almost imperceptible little strings hiding behind the scenes. Until their independence is questioned. And then it can create a little hole in their freedom bucket. Today's newspaper highlighted an article on some foodie entrepreneurs opening a new restaurant promising an exciting and wonderful cuisine. They will be following their dream of becoming self-employed owners free to follow their dreams. What if they decide to change it up and want to add live music or cute little tables and chairs outside of the restaurant? They're self-employed owners. They are free to do what they want. As long as they follow the rules and ordinances. Right? There might be some strings... I've always believed I was a free-spirited leader. Definitely not a follower. However, I do like to set goals and I feel great when I accomplish them. Even if that's getting out of bed, showering and making coffee. It's the little things. As an unemployed free human I've been enjoying the freedom to sleep in as long as I've wanted. I can read, watch t.v. or go for long walks. No one to check in with or a clock to keep track of. Meh. I miss chatting with coworkers at the old water cooler (are those still around?). I miss setting the alarm clock, hitting snooze a couple of times, and then picking out my clothes for work. I mostly miss getting a paycheck. Regularly. Like in the bank. Work commitments and relationships can hold the promise of a future but is there freedom offered as well? I think so. But there are the ever present little strings attached. And I kinda like it.
I didn't mean to Say the things I did To reject the love you gave I didn't have the strength To try again that day I didn't mean to Take the "easy" way out You see it never has been I feel things many can't grasp Only to carry them deep with- in I didn't mean to Make you worry about me I've tried to carry on Waking each day with reminders That it's only me who's wrong I didn't mean to Leave you feeling guilty For not trying harder to understand I'd hoped to conquer this demon Who's gripped me in his hand I didn't mean to Make you weep with sorrow But I leave you with this promise I will cherish your love and forgiveness When I see you again and kiss - you.