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Nancy verma

The psalms of a writer

patna, India

An avid reader who's always inquisitive to learn about life and its purpose.

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He became the bigger person

Jul 12, 2020 2 months ago

He was born when I was nine. From the day he was born till today I have felt more of a mother to him than a sister, say it because of the age gap or because of the love we have for each other. Not a day when he and I have been parted. As much as he loves me he also annoys me but at the end of the day I make sure my hands are caressing his hair making him sleep. I couldn't have asked for a better brother. He is compassionate, loving, kind and I cannot wait to see him grow into a beautiful young man. I have taught him to value time and people, to be patient no matter how apprehensive the situation may seem and many more morals. On his part he listens and obeys, understands and act. There have been many instances when I learnt valuable lessons from him and one such incidence happened few months back. When I was in my high school final year I was working even harder to get admission in a renowned college of Delhi university. What I noticed was he had been disturbing me in my studies lately. He also started to stick around me even for longer hours than before. This was a rare phenomenon for he has always known the seriousness of studies. This followed for quite a few days despite correcting him so many times. “Why wouldn't you let me study?” my furious self-yelled at him. “If you will get good grades you would leave me and fly to another city”, he broke down into tears as he said this. I went numb upon hearing this for I had never thought about this from his perspective. My thoughts of leaving home included how would I be adapting to the new place, meeting new people, venturing to new experiences and how much I would be missing my family. What I failed to think through was how he would be feeling about this. On my part I would be living my dreams and to him it meant not being able to see that one person he has been with every day ever since birth. His loss was real. This was too much for a little heart to take in. How will he be able to make peace with the fact that he could no longer cling onto my hand at any time of the day? Nevertheless, a few weeks later I received an email confirming my admission in Miranda house, Delhi. I wasn't sure which emotion my heart was feeling more profoundly, of happiness to start my new journey or of despair for I will have to part with my little brother. The toughest part that followed was breaking the news to him. I went to him when he was playing in the garden. On seeing me he came running to me asking to join him in his game. Collecting myself I bent down on both my knees in front of him. My face aligned with his and those big gleaming eyes of his were so full of enthusiasm. I was finding the right words to break the news to him as gently as possible but that would do little help. The damage was inevitable. I gently grabbed his arms with my hands partly because I presumed if he flips out my hug could comfort him and partly because I did not want to let go off him. “I would be leaving in a week; I got admission in a good college.” The shine in his eyes faded. The broad smile disappeared. I already pictured him breaking down in my arms in the succeeding seconds. The sheer imagination of it was tearing me apart. Both of our heads hung low and I couldn't gather the courage to look him in the eye. He placed his little hands on my chin and lifted it. “Why do you get upset”, he asked in the most saccharine manner possible. I gathered myself and replied, “I don't want to leave you but this city does not have good colleges for my course.” “Don't worry I will not make this harder for you than it already is. I asked Papa (father) the importance of higher education and now I get it. To keep you from going to your dream college is the last thing I would do. Don't you worry about me, just keep coming back on vacations? In the meantime your little brother will get a chance to grow big.” The next thing I remember he was hugging me with all his strength while I was on both my knees resting my head on his tiny chest, crying like a baby. This level of understanding, selflessness and emotional strength coming from a nine year old was something I wasn't anticipating. He taught me some situations are beyond the circles of I, me and myself. He put aside his fears of living without me and reasoned it with the more important aspect i.e. my education. He did it out of love and without pretension. I always knew no man could ever love me like he does but now I also know no man but he could love me so purely and selflessly. He did not know but in that very moment he had grown bigger than me. He became the bigger person.

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