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Ruined mind
Jan 15, 2023 1 year agoIs it worth to stay alive when u hate every single second ur still breathing? Don't get me wrong , I'm not saying everyone who thinks they Wana die In ",the heat of the moment/phase", should do so. Now if it's like my case where for the last 8 plus years everyday u think about it and u just stay in bed ,if not working, waiting for time 2 pass while hoping u don't wake up next morning then yes the mental suffering ain't worth the vague chance u, eventually, turn it around and are able 2 enjoy life. Neither is the effort and pain ,u gotta get over. Therapy is a joke...pills don't rly help only makes u tired in a slight hope u don't have strength to hurt urself and there's nothing they can say to me that I haven't already thought. Only reason I'm alive rn is pure luck, well , would call it bad luck surviving my last 2 attempts just 2 spend months in the hospital each time. There's another reason tho.... I've always delayed my problems even if they made me suffer and this is just another one...what's the point of working like a slave for barely being able 2 pay the bills just 2 go home and sleep till the next work day. Living 2 work? Optimal mindset for a worker isn't it? well excluding the fact I'm a ticking bomb that can explode anytime...pain scares me tho. I survived a 30 sec electrocution where the electricity path from both hands(2 wires one each hand) would connect 2 the hearth 2 make it stop but than lights went off and I survived...than lass than 24 h after I got realized some time after I took 60 pills and still survived after a whole night with avarage 200 bpm and that's not even the worst of the last years.... Anyways just had 2 write this somewhere and gonna share some more stuff ,about why I'm like this, later. Dunno if I can share this here tho...well my goal is 2 give examples of what u shouldn't do if u are in a similar situation as the ones I will be sharing .
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