Tap. Tap. Tap. The endless, incessant noise of the ping pong ball pervades my senses. I smack it back across the table with surgical precision, as I have done a hundred times before. The ball whizzes past me towards the intended target - a corner spot of the table surely out of the reaches of my opponent - but suddenly drops in trajectory mere millimeters into...the dreaded net. Sigh. We just got a new table tennis table during the COVID-19 pandemic, and I am determined to master it. “Again.” I soldier on and pick up another plastic white sphere. My mind is razor-sharp and focused on the target before me. Amazingly, I've recently discovered that table tennis is a great way to cleanse the soul of one's problems. I take the racquet and smack the ball again. This time, I don't miss. The ball bounces cleanly off the edge of the table and with a clunk, ricochets off the opposite wall. I'm left to contemplate life just for a split second before my opponent fires another ball at me. Instinct takes over, and my mind gives way to the muscle memory of my body. I am barely conscious of my shots in the heat of the rally now, savoring the satisfying crack of the ball as it bounces back and forth across the table. White noise takes over my brain and I'm free. I'm glad I've found table tennis to be a worthy respite from the world around me. My parents are both in the health care field. They regularly work with COVID positive patients. The constant worry of them bringing the virus into the house is scary. Crack. What a perfect shot. Focus on the ball. For a moment, I've forgotten I'm in the midst of a sports battle. My resolve wavers and my outstretched hand slips from its course, barely missing the ball and sending it flying past me. Determined not to think these bad thoughts any longer, I force myself to bring attention back to the game. 18-16. Ok, not too bad. Two-point deficit. I've come back from way worse before. The rest of the match is simple. 21-18, didn't drop a point and it's game over. “Again,” I say, dropping my racquet onto the ground. However, for this round, my desire for a rematch will not be satiated: my brother shakes his head imperceptibly and heads back into his room, clearly bored. What do I do now? I fiddle with my thumbs for a few more seconds before picking up the red and black racquet again. I grab a ball out of the basket and throw it gracefully upward, timing, calculating, extrapolating. A split second before it hits the ground, my hand shoots out and cuts through the air, curving the ball across the table. I could do this all day, but the unmistakable honk of a car in the garage jolts me to my senses. My mom is home. I rush outside and greet her, mechanically taking her car keys and phone. Then, just like I've done a hundred times before for the past 7 months, I take both items inside and meticulously wipe them down with a disinfectant cloth. Each nook and cranny, each crevice, is a potential hiding spot for the virus. I wash my hands methodically afterward as I ask her about her day. Turns out, she worked with a COVID positive patient earlier. My heart fills with worry. What if she was exposed? What if I'm now exposed? What if- My brain runs off on a track of its own sometimes. But it's important to bring my emotions back in check during these especially tough times. It's the crux of the reason why I focus so much on table tennis. A sport to which, before the pandemic, I paid very little attention. Now I go outside once more, turning on the backyard patio television and switching to the local news channel. The now-usual spiel of crowded hospitals and increasing cases and a rising death toll fills the bright screen. I feel like throwing something at the tv to make it all stop. Wait. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The virus has brought the world to its knees, but there is still a joy to be found in the little things in life (at the risk of sounding cliche). So go forth and embrace them - whether it be sewing or learning to cook or reading that book that you've always wanted to delve into while sipping hot chocolate in your favorite house chair. Go forth and find respite in new hobbies. Find your passion and follow it with unconditional love in these dark times to make them a little bit brighter. Go forth and find happiness where you'd least expect it. Because dare I say it, but that's exactly what we need right now. Tap. Tap. Tap. The beautiful, musical noise of the ping pong ball pervades my senses and takes me to another world entirely.

To this day, I distinctly remember taking a school-facilitated exam in kindergarten called the COGAT, determining acceptance into the local Gifted and Talented program. My 5-year-old brain failed to comprehend the gravity of the situation and perhaps the meaning that the Gifted and Talented program would have to me years later. I did not pass the test and moved on with life, without giving it a second thought. Four years and four academic grades later, the COGAT test was an optional enrollment opportunity and the urge of acceptance into the GT program was now singularly my own. And a few months after taking the exam, my ecstasy upon learning that I had passed the test was unparalleled to any event I had ever been exposed to in my life until that point. Since then, my love for education and a strong desire for knowledge has only continued to grow through years of academic experience until the present. By actively participating in programs such as Duke TIP, high school robotics and more, I was able to foster that love, especially in the areas of mathematics and science. Through a work ethic based on self-growth and increased motivation in an environment of peer competition, I have come to develop an unconditional love for education. My first failing assignment was in 3rd grade, and my utter disbelief came suddenly and unexpectedly. After looking over the paper and realizing how conceptually lacking I was, I vowed to never let such an atrocity occur again. Since that time, I have and continue to login to online databases such as Khanacademy and Mathway - not just to strengthen current academic knowledge - but also advance and build upon existing concepts. On homework-free weekends and during summer breaks, I sit at my wooden desk and dedicatedly work through advanced math, science, and reading courses and refresh my memory on older curriculum. At home, ensuring a steady flow of new wisdom is consistently seeping into my brain is a major priority of mine. That philosophy alone is what drives me to learn more and to gain more knowledge, not because of external influences like a teacher, but of my own mind and body. My relationship with education can best be described as a catch-22 scenario in and of itself: the more I learn the more I want to learn and consequently the more I take the action of learning into my own hands. No amount of frustrating calculus application problems is ever going to change that. My eagerness for cognitive glory is only furthered by the peers in my schools who share it. Every time I get a grade 3 or 4 points below that of my “smarter friends” - however high of an A that may be - is a reminder to keep improving myself. The question I always ask after missing a test problem is, “What could I have done to 100% secure my chances of answering this question correctly?”. And I use the answer as motivation to strive for greater heights. A little competition never hurt anyone, as the saying famously goes. Academic competition, especially in a healthy school setting, motivates me to rise above my peers because I have come to accept the fact that in the modern day American education system, every standardized test (such as the SAT) is meant to weed out the best from the mediocre. Being consistently challenged to maintain high scores parallel to those of my friends also increases the internal reward when I accomplish something big. Although I do not necessarily condone gloating, there's just an innate satisfaction that comes with being considered the “smartest” of the group or the most academically capable. The only way to continue experiencing that feeling is to embrace academics and follow it with passion. The payoff of working hard in school on the front end is limitless on the back end. Academics have played a major role these past 15 years in shaping the course of my life and paving a path for my future. Through outlets of self-growth and peer motivation, I have been able to cultivate the love and find the importance that academics has to me. The feel-good sense of satisfaction that actively engaging in education instills in me is like an adrenaline rush one has when riding on an extreme rollercoaster. And although I may not share this unusual belief with everyone, to me it's as clear as DNA being double-stranded - I have a genuine thirst for knowledge.