Make sure your shoes are tied!

Life has a way of knocking us off our feet, for me it happened in increments throughout my life. It started with my parents' divorce when I was two, I felt a slight shove, but it didn't knock me down. Growing up only living with one parent (my mom) it made me closer to her than I am to anyone, but it also put distance between me and my dad, one that little girls should never know. Since it happened when I was so young I still don't know what a normal family feels like it's not like in the movies where they divorce when the child remembers, I don't. Because of that I never rebelled for attention or pushed them to get together but there is a part of me that always wonders what it would be like to be one family and that's something I'll never know. The next thing that really shook me was finding out I had ADD and Dyslexia. This one hit me harder and faster than the first, but it still didn't make me fall. Having these disorders made school difficult for me because it made me hate school and everything about it, I didn't want to go because everyone thought I was stupid or dumb even me. However, after finding out I did get help and I started to love school and learning: this was me fighting back against the world. That feeling never really go away though, I may know that I am not dumb, but it doesn't stop me from believing it every so often. Then was I about six or so I started to get headaches bad ones and my feet and hands would go numb, it may also help to know that I was not the most graceful kid. After that started my mom took me to the doctor and then one visit turned into two and then three and so on, for a while they believed I had MS (Multiple sclerosis) because on top of those symptoms I also had scaring in my brain. This was a hard hit for me because it worried my parents and it took many years to find out what was actually wrong with me, this one on top of the other hits makes me fall sometimes but I just have to get back up and tie my shoes. I went to doctor after doctor and almost every time I went in I had to do something involved with needles, which is probably why I hate them so much. After so many doctors I finally found one that might know what was going on but before she could help me she passed away (her name was DR. Bunch and she was amazing) and we lost a very good person in the world. After that it took us a couple of years to find a doctor that could help find out what was wrong with me, and with a lot of test and many smart people we found out that I have Hashimoto's an autoimmune disease that has to do with the thyroid. At this point I got knocked over, but I got back up because know we knew what was wrong and could fix it. It's a disease in with your immune system attacks your thyroid gland, it has many symptoms and some double as symptoms for MS which is where the confusion came up and it cause me to not know from the time I was six to seventeen what was wrong with me. At some points in my life the unknown kept me from doing some of the things that I wanted to do and that changed me and my personality in ways that I might not be the same person if I had known. Now I am in college and dealing with all these hits at once and yes it may be difficult sometime, and life might knock me over, but I am just going to keep getting back up. For me motivation is sometimes not there because of my disease but I just must push through it and the same goes for writing I may struggle a lot, but I am going to keep pushing. This is how life tries to kick me off my feet now, but I'll just tie my shoes and try not to fall over.

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Hanny94

Author, Writer, Actress

Manchester , United Kingdom