There was no pool and no lifeguard. Well, not literally. The pool was my depression and I while I was drowning to my death; I was rescued by my friend. You'll understand me in a bit. I tried to kill myself once. Actually I didn't intend to kill myself. I just wanted to put myself in so much pain; so much so that I wouldn't feel the terrible heart ache I had at the time. I was so torn one night after I had cried my eyes out in grief and sadness and I just took pills. First, I swallowed 10 pills, and then I tried another 10 immediately. Fortunately, I was online and I saw a friend online and I just told her that I was in so much pain. She immediately came up to my room and saw the state I was in. She was so devastated and I was so scared. I thought I was going to die for sure. She tried to make me induce vomit but I just couldn't. She said we should go to the health center but I was scared. I didn't know what to tell them. It was around 2:00am, so it was a miracle that she was even up. In the end, she just stayed with me until morning. When I slept, she slept and when I stirred, she woke up and asked if I was alright. The next morning I pretty much acted like all was well. I was very ashamed of myself. I felt very stupid and overly dramatic. I was very weak, I didn't eat anything because I didn't have an appetite. Why did I do that to myself? I did it because I was in so much pain; the heartache was just too painful to bear. I felt very worthless and very useless. I felt like a burden, like a cast away. I wouldn't say that my friends weren't there for me, cos they were. When I remember this incident, I am just very grateful to God for sparing my life. I would have brought tears to the eyes of many and hurt a lot of hearts and now that I think about it, it wasn't worth it. I'm sharing my story today to let everyone know that they matter. No matter what you're going through, there's someone that cares. You might have to look a little harder, but people are there. People are always there to help you. You are not alone; you never are, most importantly, God is looking out for you.
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