My quarantine experience

Now the fate of the world is hazy than ever. For many years we hoped for future with invisible power that would unite us and awaken in us compassion for other people`s suffering but could we forecast that it would occur to our doorsteps in most unexpected and dangerous way? The disease embracing the world literally affected life of every inhabitant of the planet including mine. I must be lucky being least harmed by this plague as I live in the country that suffered least and being citizen of the town that Covid 19 did not reach at all. Thanks to early response by our country, my family and I are safe for now but still its print on my life was life-altering. With this story, I want to convey to you the colossal impact of Covid 19 on humanity, telling you about what it did to someone who is furthest from this problem as it could possibly be for this time. My name is Rakhimova Farzona and this is my story… I was small town girl dreaming about big future. I was extremely hard-working, over-ambitious but fantastically naive. I was craving to break out of my ordinary life. I was all into my studying believing that it could give me everything I desired. I graduated high school as the best student and was accepted to the university in capital where I always wanted to study. I never sought for friendship or any other relationship thinking that I should not have anything to leave behind when I move out – I wanted to start fresh. Briefly, I got everything mapped up. As a first year student in faculty of World economy, I've seemed to be standing on the path to the realization of all my cherished dreams. Did I ever think of possibility that my plans could somehow ruin and the future that I unreservedly felt was just an illusion that could vanish any time like smoke? I don`t think I did. Even though university did not turn out that much fun as I expected, I still was satisfied – I found great friends, became best in class and finally figured out what I wanted to do in life. Everything I ever wanted seemed so close and real. It was like finally seeing the twinkling glow of the light that I searched for a long time and reached out. After finishing the first semester, I started my scientific activity in sphere oriental studies and made plans for my next researches for whole spring. Did I hear about disease spreading at a terrible rate? Did I know that somewhere out there countless amount of people were dying from it while I was safe and making plans for my future? I heard but I chose not to listen, I knew but I chose not to think about it until the government announced quarantine and sent all students home. I came to my hometown frustrated and disappointed pinning my hopes on being back soon. Four months have passed since then and we are still in lockdown but this time turned my childishness to maturity, indifference to care. At the beginning, after coming home, all I could think about was how unlucky I was, because it happened just at the dawn of my success. However, the more horror of Covid 19 came closer, the more I changed. Even though anyone I got infected, every single day we had been hearing about infected people which were colleges and families of people I know, so ignoring it like before, became impossible. Then, I finally decided to leave my zone of comfort and face the painful truth. The more I learned about it, the more I tried to be courageous enough to imagine myself in those patients` places - feeling an inexpressible pain away from their families and sometimes even suffocating to death. As I have bronchitis since the childhood, I understand better than anyone else, what is it like to have difficulty with breathing. Now, imagining that millions of people in the world are living my worst nightmare is just unbearable for me. Now, the thought of old me makes my gorge rise, the old me who chose to live in ignorance. The worst part of it, is that I chose not to care not because I was insensitive or something. I acted like complete coward protecting herself from emotional pain. I aware that there is nothing I can do to ease this problem but it doesn`t mean that I do not have any power. Unlike other creatures on the planet, human beings are able to imagine themselves in other people`s places which I consider great power. The worst sin one person can commit towards another is not being disable to help but showing the absence of care. From now on, I decide always to remind myself about my power and try not to lose it again. That was one of the things, I wanted to convey to you with this story. Another one is understanding the fact that the future is nowhere, so there is no use to count on it or plan it like I showed you by my example. The only thing we can do for ourselves is to catch the moment and live it as well as it is possible. Now, I am wondering. This disease converted me to completely different person even I was so far from it, so I want you to think what it does to humanity and its future?

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