If it asked us to sum 2020 up in one word or phrase, I have no doubt that all pessimistic words appear in our minds one by one: Chaos, lost, exhaust and more. Because we as humans tend to just focus on the negative in the midst of a bad situation which make our plans upside-down. This nonesuch year, we welcomed with many hopes in our hearts, gave us a malady as a gift. Coronavirus. This tiny virus suddenly dropped like a nuclear bomb in the middle of our lives, pushed the entire world into a quarantine and forced to slow down. All of us immediately panicked, cursed the virus, and blamed others for this bad thing that happened to us. But, personally, I think that 2020 was a year not only like a curse. It is also a course we learned new things, realized how our actions are dominant on the Earth and affect it in deep. Moreover, we witnessed some miracles. Billions of people connected to fight for the virus. Cars stopped. In many cities which are industrial giants of the World, rate of pollution decreased. The Earth could finally breathe, even temporarily. Also, living in quarantine for months has given some of us a rare opportunity to criticize their lives and allow them to experience new habits and lifestyles, some of which we would like to continue even after quarantine. But, in the early months of quarantine, like most of the people, I faltered and fell into pessimism. Turkey had to go into quarantine due to the COVID-19 pandemic, not long after I finished my graduation project. After the tiring last semester, I thought that it would be nice to have a couple of weeks to recharge my energy in my hometown with my family. But, later a couple of weeks turned into a month. A month turned into months. It was getting more and more uncertain when we would see the light at the end of the tunnel. The more uncertainty surrounded me, the more stress and anxiety increased. Well, stress and anxiety are not big problems for me. Because I got used to dealing with stress and anxiety due to the architectural education. The main issue bothering me was that I unwittingly got used to the comfort in my family home, and I was doing nothing design-related in my free time besides sitting at my computer to watch movies and surf on the net. I began to intensely feel like as if the brave, creative, and productive side of my mind was disappearing little by little. I felt a fear I cannot describe properly. Besides this intense feeling of fear, my inner voice constantly kept whispering me the same thing: 'You are not that kind of person.' Yes, I was not that kind of person. I tried to remember my life before quarantine. I had been on the go continuously for my life since middle school. I always say I'm someone who likes to be busy to achieve my goals and dreams. Of course, I don't mean isolating myself from real life and living only for goals. I mean balancing work and leisure in my life. I had finally figured out. The thing that preyed on my mind and make me dissatisfied with my changed lifestyle was that I lost the balance in my life. It was like every day was the same. I needed to immediately take initiatives that would keep me busy again, help me find the lost balance, and to continue walking on the path to my dreams. But, how? It suddenly occurred to me one day, when I had been in a nasty mood. I realized that the situation I was in was not as bad as I thought. I was fortunate. Being at my parents' house in the countryside offered me advantages that I was unaware of until that moment. Like being close to nature I have been addicted to since I was a kid, and experiencing agricultural practices. Also, the forced slowdown was a golden opportunity for me to do many things that I had postponed due to the busy schedules at the university. After my sudden awakening, I immediately started filling my days with different activities making my life worth living. I felt much better because I have found the balance in my life again. Since that day I have still kept myself busy and stay up to date with design competitions, different creative stuffs and my personal blog where I share my design works and stories related to the Earth like sinking cities and climate superheroes. Also, I don't neglect getting out into nature. While it gives me free courses related to my job (landscape architecture), its rhythms and resilience help to calm my anxious mind. And, sometimes toward evening, I go to my spot in a mountain near my family's home that I call 'my wild home', and capture the various sunset views. I really like sunsets. Even the worst days end with beautiful sunsets. And, they prove both that every day is different and that in every bad there is always something good. Dealing with all kinds of situations is a part of life. The key to surviving in every fight in the life is being able to see the good in the bad. Like I did.
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