Home

Home. A meaningful, strong word. ‘Home' is where your heart belongs to, not where you have to live. Your ‘home' is what makes you you. Everybody can describe ‘home' in many different ways. Friends, family, a spesific place or just… home. Sometimes, your ‘home' becomes less home-like and you even might have to lose ‘it'. Not everybody can handle losing their ‘home' but you have to do it, if you are the only right one here. Sometimes, our ‘homes' can't stay ours forever. Sometimes, we need to move out. Sometimes, we just have to start over. Well, that is the hard part isn't it? But your ‘home' may have a good past. Moving in. The first impession of your ‘home' would always be facinating, even if ‘it' is not that good in real life. Because you want to see ‘it' this way. You want ‘it' to be perfect because you know that you deserve the best. You love your ‘home', you attach to ‘it' and you would think that you will stay in ‘there' forever. But here is the worst part, realizing that your ‘home' is not as good as you think. Getting sick. When you realize that your ‘home' is not good, you would get sick of everything your ‘home' has. Especially, the existince of your ‘home' would make you sick. You realize that you don't want to live in ‘there', in this way. So you start to look for some solutions. Nobody can accept that their ‘home' is not good for them, so they would immediately blame themselves or the others for making their ‘home' less good in their eyes. They would never think that ‘it' is not their real ‘home', they would think that they are not the real ‘owner'. Blaming yourself, or the others is the modest side of the duration. But not opening your eyes to the truth is the foolish side. Once you realize that the problem is in your ‘home', just one thought will be in your brain. Moving out. You can't be sticked to your ‘home'. At least in a physical way. There are always so many chances or ways to move out. You just have to find the perfect one. Which is, for me, doing it in the most straightest way. So you can be honest to yourself and to your ‘home' too. If moving out is the best thing for you, just do it. Don't care about the others opinions, sometimes, people just talk for the sake of speaking. Of course it's a hard process and, as I said, not everyone can handle it but otherwise you will live in somewhere you don't know, in other words in the middle of nowhere. But this is not the only ending. This journey has two possible endings. First ending: Middle of nowhere. If you decided to stay in ‘there' -not the ‘home' anymore- it would feel like nothing. It's just you and the emptyness. This is the worst way that a human can treat to themselves. Do you think ,after all this, the reason or reasons that make you want to stay ‘there' can make your heart to beat with passion too? I don't really think so. In this times you just need to listen to your heart. Sometimes, your heart has to be your brain. Second ending: In the heaven. If you finally get rid of your old ‘home', we can say it's over. All the bad things that you went thru, all the sadness that you have to handle, all the weight in your back… They all gone. Now, you can take a deep, relax breath. You made it all by yourself and you have to be aware of the power that your holding. If you don't give up on it, you can even overthrow the ‘old one'. And one last thing to say. I told you about the two possible endings but did you know endings have endings too? In this journey the endings' endings are converging at the same point. Listening to your heart. If you listen to your heart carefully, you will hear the one thing that you have been looking for. The way to your real ‘home'.

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Angell Kim

Always doing things you never would have done...

Dallas, USA