Where Am I Going?

If someone had asked me in 2019 what my plans were, I would have recited the chronological order of my future career. I would complete my Bachelor's degree in only two and a half years (yes, I had my semesters scheduled to let this happen). It would be a remarkable event for my family, who would be so proud of me. I anticipated engaging in extracurricular activities that would embellish my resume, which I had already started by joining different student committees. Eventually, it would lead me toward my ultimate goal: becoming a law student. If my calculations were correct, by 25 years old, I would have been able to graduate with a Bachelor's degree and a Law degree. Every Persian household would hold me as the pinnacle of success. My life would then be complete. I would be an accomplished young woman who defied the odds against her. I could become an example of brilliance and success. But that is not exactly how it went. After starting my academic career, I underestimated how many challenges I was going to have to face at university. The workload was heavy and challenging. The long commutes to school put a strain on my sleeping habits. The journey was rewarding but also a struggle. So, the plan I had once made for myself was beginning to crumble. I also had another problem ahead of me. I was far from reaching the required number of credits needed upon graduation. My GPA suffered significantly during my first year and needed to be higher for law school applications. Then the pandemic happened. I knew my work ethic had to change because of the shift to online. Life was about to get more challenging, and I had to take on that challenge as best as I could. It was a slow and tedious process, but finally, I was able to raise my grades. At this point, I scratched out the possibility of finishing my degree in less than three years and accepted that I might only graduate a semester early. I was incredibly disappointed. I had once been so confident that this would be my journey. Yet, here I was, failing on the first step of the vision. Subsequent to some crying, I came to terms with my situation. I am not failing. I have the drive to realize my dreams and, despite it all, I have managed. I have almost completed my degree and it is an accomplishment as it is. Along with my optimism comes uncertainty. I do not have a definite plan anymore, and my direction is not as transparent as it used to be. The lockdown has sketched a blur. I am taking it all one step at a time to avoid unrealistic dreams and disappointment. I decided to focus on the present and to let the future build upon what I am creating now. My new goal is to develop my character every day. I have no idea what to do for law school applications. My plans are in shambles, but I am accepting it as I go.


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