I'll get through this A sentence I always say to myself when my world comes crashing down, but do I actually get through it? Not really. On a usual day, I would blame it on the horror movies I'd stay up late watching to satisfy the inner traumatized part of me, but today, It isn't a horror movie, neither is it a random black cat showing up at my door, it is something far worse than that is draining every single feeling in me that is giving me the will to live. I do not want to leave, I love it here, I love how the cold wind gets under my skin and how it makes my hair get in the way of my sight and my hair but all that seems not to matter anymore as I have to leave because the graveyard gates are closing, the screeching sound of the iron is supposed to be my reason to get up from the mess of mud that I am laying but a feeling is holding me back, Loneliness Isn't forever indeed promised? I get up from the mess I am in, and every other thing that binds me whatsoever, and make my way out of the graveyard making my way back home, on reaching home, I try to reach for my keys but they were nowhere to be found in my pockets, I try to look for it nearby with the thought of it slipping out as I was walking but it was nowhere to be seen, concluding that I left it at the graveyard, I give up and I sit down right in front of my home with tears streaming down from my orbs. "It's late, what are you doing here," I hear a husky voice that sounds like one of a kind, I've never heard a voice like that before. I stay silent, of course I am not speaking to a stranger who just comes here and stands over me. He probably is the type that doesn't talk much, I judge that from the action of him taking a seat right beside me without uttering another word. His action amuses me, it amused me to the point that I raise my head up to take a look at him, he is in sweats with a beanie that boldly spells out 'Jayr', it's probably his name, but it's a name I've never heard of before. "Jayr," I say to try to see how it would roll off my tongue not noticing I say it loudly. Upon hearing me say his name he smiles at me, and I see a glimpse of his features clearer, he has hazel eyes which are pretty common but for some reason it dazzles me, his smile, it is my favorite type of smile, he has a gummy smile, which upon catching a sight of it, it makes me smile too. "How are you," This time he says making eye contact, an eye contact that makes me feel some type of way. "I'm okay, how about-" I was about to ask about him when he cuts me off. "I asked about how you are doing, you obviously don't look okay," his voice as soft as ever, almost making me push the thoughts of my dead best friend away. "I lost a friend," I say looking down, fear envelopes me and I go numb. "She's definitely watching over you," He looks up and smiles then looks back at me, before handing me my keys, "Here, go back in to your house, it's getting cold, see you tomorrow," he says and If I'm being honest, this is the best I have felt in 6 months; after losing my best friend. We meet up the next day, the day after, and the following week, slowly jayr becomes a part of me, a part of me that if taken away I won't be able to bear it. We met everyday and I kept loving every minute of it until a day came that I couldn't find him. "Jayr" I call out after five minutes of not seeing him on a Wednesday afternoon. "Jayr" I call out again, this time I look down and I notice an envelope that says "FROM JAYR" The letter read as follows: Hey, You never told me your name, and I never asked because I didn't need to know but I'm glad I helped you move on, everytime I came to see you, there was always a beanie on my head, you never asked what it was for, but I had cancer, and it was predicted that I'd live for 5 months more, if you're reading this, I'm gone, I'll be watching over you, Love, Jayr. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to tears, or even scream, I looked at the paper with a straight face, but I know I am screaming and crying internally. Jayr healed me, but there wasn't enough time to do the same for him. If my life was a book, this chapter would definitely have a folded edge. I love you jayr, but there wasn't enough time for me to say that.


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