Give Yourself Time

When you truly love someone, it becomes almost impossible to notice the red flags. You ignore all the bad situations and make excuses for them. As long as they tell you that they love you, it is okay to get sad and vulnerable because of their actions. When you feel insecure, it is not because of what they've said before but because you're overreacting. When they make you feel unwanted or unacceptable, you start questioning yourself too because they can't do wrong in your eyes. Even if they do, they deserve to be forgiven. You somehow can't replace them and you actually believe in this nonsense as well as making them believe it too. That's how they become more full of theirselves and know that the other person can't just brush them off. This allows them to have huge egos at the end of the day. They put you in a place which you feel constantly trying and never being enough, almost as in a road with no ending. You become exhausted but you also can't get over the feelings you have for them. You can't simply put aside all the drama that has been going on and can't burn all the bridges between you and them. It takes a lot of effort and courage to finally giving up. Giving up the person who was misleading you all the way to that point. The person who has made you feel not good enough multiple of times and the person who should be accused of not just his/her words but also his/her actions. It's not a simple 'I love you' that is going to solve anything, the actions need to speak for themselves too. You need to trust them since love is not capable to fill the void of trust. Trust is as essential as love and you need to have it too in order to maintain a good, healthy relationship. You should value yourself as well as making them feel valued. You need to protect the love you're giving to yourself because it can't be given by any other person and that's a fact. Once you stop caring about yourself, it's over for you. The other person can give any damage to you at that point. It's also crucial to direct your love to the things which actually deserve your love, not things you want to love. Wanting something doesn't always mean it's good for you. You may not see the bad side of things so it's beneficial to leave some space for you to handle things and not completely be open about it while you're analyzing what's going on. This means you shouldn't be talking to the person 7/24 who is the cause of the dilemma, you will eventually be convinced by them in the way they like it to be. You should be aware of what's happening and sometimes let the mind have a say in the situation rather than feelings. A clever decision is required when the person who hurt you more than a time is the case. You may still forgive them but forgetting what they've done before can be dangerous. Another point is that, when you miss something it doesn't always mean you should go and get that thing. Sometimes you should allow yourself to miss it until the day you stop thinking about it. Maybe the things you miss are just the delusions of your own mind that wishes everything to turned out to be different. You can't change the reality. The greatest thing about mind is that when you actually stop and listen for a second, it gives you the real answer you don't wanna hear about. Another aspect is, the right person would not get you into that much of a conflict anyway. You just know he/she is the one both in your mind and heart at once. Overall the most important thing is to remember yourself during this chaos of feelings and the debate of right and wrong. Because the most precise right choice ever is putting yourself first and showing love to yourself. Knowing that you're more than enough at any situation and anyone's good or bad acquisition of you will not determine the real version of you, it's you who decide to choose what you want to be. You are precious with or without that person's opinion, you are an individual with unique characteristics and hopes and dreams and interests and memories. Nothing, not a single soul has enough power to beat the energy you have. Once you discover how beautiful you are, regardless of the things will happen and will be said in the future, everything will fall into place. You will attract the good and the path for the right to come into your life will be made already.


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artist, musician, writer, Luddite

Troy, United States