I'll Never Say These Words

I know love that it may have crossed your mind why I suddendly became laid back and taciturn toward you. Please be assured in your belief that my decision is not hinged on any wrong you've done, actual or perceived. Truth is for a while I was in a strait betwixt as to what course to take - a dilemma of sorts. On the one hand I feel that playing my cards against my chest may paint the picture of an immature response from me in not having the courage to state a cause (this will be far from the truth). On the other hand I feel that stating a cause may translate into exerting a certain pressure on your heart (pressure which may be construed as underhand and deigning - an outcome that is never my intention). Hence I stood the risk of you either construing my actions as imature or perceiving me as condescending - I think I can live with your conceptions of me as immature. But again for fear of besmirching the remaining vestiges of whatever esteem you may have of me, I now make this write albeit with every attempt to obfuscate meaning through my superfluous employments of verbosity. I've come to understand that sometimes when we think we stand on the fringes to see how the cat jumps, we unawares have made up our minds on what path to tow. I'm also not unaware of the fluctuations of human will - something I scarce will pith myself against no matter what ideals of my own I may hold. I hence believe that somethings best be left unspoken between us as life must move on. I will however always treasure you, all that you stand for and what you mean to me. My present volte face may not change soon. Even now I perceive that with my many words I pander towards dilemma 2. I know you understand love. You'll ever be dear to me

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