Life, Briefly

I see myself in a white coat, stethoscope around the neck, easing a patient's pain and improving their quality of life. I see myself in scrubs, gloves donned and scalpel in hand, about to perform a life changing surgery. I see myself in the wards, assessing a patient's response to treatment and modifying accordingly. I see myself on an awareness walk, educating and screening people of endemic blood borne diseases. I see myself assuring a labouring mother to be, catching the baby as she gives a victorious growl. I blink and come back to reality, a 16 year old girl about to make one of the most important decisions of her life. I am filling a JAMB form, a qualifying exam which will determine my course of study and university for my undergraduate education. I have always imagined myself as a doctor, helping people with my medical knowledge. And now that my dream is within achievable reach, my palms are cold and my heart beating faster than usual. I cast my mind through the various professions that have piqued my interest over time, coming up short. I fill in medicine and surgery alongside choice university and submit the form, heart beats coming to a crescendo. I am 17 and in first year of university studying medicine. There is a latent feeling of euphoria and trepidation. There is a minimum CGPA we must achieve at the end of first year in order to proceed with 2nd year. I am not worried though, the new courses are familiar concepts from high school. I am confident in my abilities. I make new friends from various departments but I still feel homesick sometimes. My hostel is a horror so I go to my friend's place frequently. We read, play, read some more and play harder. I am having a blast. I am 18 and in 2nd year, the courses have become a bit complex, we have been introduced to anatomy, physiology and biochemistry. My dream is gradually being actualized. I quickly learn that the courses are more voluminous and the exams are structured differently. We have blocks instead of semesters and incourses are held at the end of each block. A professional MBBS exam will be held when we have gone through all the blocks. There is some fear and anxiety, the incourses are not as simple as I expected and I experience my first failure. I quickly shrug it off, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.  I am 19 and the MBBS exams are fast approaching. I cry sometimes while reading, the information simply refuses to stick. My parents are a huge source of strength and I double my efforts, pulling all-nighter several times a week. Exam timetable is posted and the tension is palpable. I pull through exam weeks feeling wrung out, but hoping for the best. While we await exam results, I am plagued with feelings of inadequacy. I wonder if I made the right career choice. The results are finally released and I pass with credits. Some of my coursemates got distinctions and a small percentage failed, they are to retake the exams in 3 months. My happiness at passing masks my growing resentment at the whole system. Then COVID happens, and there is widespread panic and misinformation. The government issues directives and guidelines, my school is shut and I go home. The whole country is on lockdown and the health care workers don their PPEs. I am reminded of the reasons why I chose medicine, the selfless acts and caring attitude, never turning away patients despite being stretched to the brim.I feel proud to have picked such a noble profession. 

comments button 0 report button


Subscribe and stay tuned.

Popular Biopages