I was a sophomore in high school when COVID first hit. Now I'm going to be a senior, I'm going to graduate soon and go off to college. It was so far away and now it's already happening. At first I thought that COVID wouldn't last that long. I was enjoying my time at home. I did all my school work in an hour, I read books outside on top of every small ledge I could find. I learned 30 minute long dances from YouTube, I painted, I exercised, I was on top of the world. When I got the notification that school would be online for the rest of the year I was overjoyed. I was never going to pass chemistry if we went back in person. But my mom started working from home, and my dad had weirdly long breaks from work. It was nothing we couldn't handle. I just didn't enjoy being around my parents that much. I did miss my friends, in the beginning we made group chats and stayed up late playing cards against humanity online together, we played among us. But then those calls became less frequent and I would talk to my friends less and less every day. When summer came I was bored. I know that isn't anything stupendous but I'm telling the truth. I finally got into therapy that summer and it didn't really help but I was ok, just bored. Because of COVID our spring school musical was postponed, during the summer we were allowed to practice and perform. We had long days learning choreography for West Side Story! It was amazing, I finally had social interaction with my friends again, we got prepared and finally the first night of the show was here. We were filming it since we weren't allowed in the audience. It went horribly, dances were wrong, audio started in strange places, cues were missed, and Tony's blood packet popped a scene too early. Luckily we had more performances that we could get right. I woke up the next morning and I found out that someone in our cast (that all of us had been away from for more than 2 weeks) had tested positive for COVID. To say that I was devastated would be an understatement, but I held it in until that night. I had the worst panic attack that I've ever had. I could barely breathe and I couldn't control my limbs. My mom got so worried, she made me talk to my therapist about it. I am ok, my mom just gets worried sometimes. After that I got out alot more with my friends and I was getting more and more worried about junior year. I was scared of my classes to be specific. I was taking 4 college classes, yeah 4. The beginning of the school year went better than expected. AP Physics was hard but that was just because the class is hard in general. We were back to learning in person with extra safety precautions. There were 6 lunches now instead of 4, we could only walk one way in the hallways, we had to wash off our desks after every bell and, we had staggered release from every bell, freshman and seniors, then juniors and sophomores. All in all it wasn't bad but now I had to go through an obstacle course to get to my classes. November 19th 2 days after my birthday My family and I are out for my birthday dinner, I just turned 17. And we get the call. All classes will be online but after school activities may continue as scheduled. This time the classes had times. Starting at 7:45 am we had to be on a zoom call with every one of our classes every day for attendance. In most of my classes I was the only one with my face cam on. During this time we were putting on A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare. I was playing Starveling, one of the Mechanicals. We were rehearsing after school almost every day in order to get ready for our performance early January. School went back to in person around January 15th with new rules for being contact traced, the students had to go to school but could not do after school activities. During hell week for the show, one of my friends, Jack, got contact traced. He was irreplaceable. We had to push back the show until he got back. The next time I as well as a bunch of other cast members got contact traced. So we pushed the show back again. By this point our director had everyone in the show be replaceable except Jack and one other person, Aidan. The show approaches and Aidan gets contract traced. As they say, the third time's the charm. We had our show the next weekend and everything went as smoothly as it could under the circumstances. Our spring musical was Godspell, I was Peggy. By this time vaccines were being given out to people 16 or older. Only 2 people in our cast were younger than 16 at this time and most of us were trying to get the vaccine. When the show rolled around one 2 people in our 14 person cast were fully vaccinated. Luckily those two happened to be Jesus and Judas. Everything worked out fine, well as fine as anything can work out. Now I am fully vaccinated, I am the Historian of our school's thespian branch. I am writing this at 2 am and I am stressed about the year to come.
What started my love for acting was when I noticed the way I felt when I would sit down in my living room and watch television when I was younger. I remember feeling like the actors had a superpower that could take their audience to a different world and put them in a place of possibilities. My cousins and I had to look for a way to entertain ourselves at times when the power was out due to Nigeria's regular power outages. We would make up scenarios in our heads and pretend we were our mothers in a salon getting our hair done and discussing the latest gossip. We relied on the observations we made in our everyday life. I remember how alive it made me feel. I did not want to let go of that feeling. My experience in the Nigerian educational system for 16 years of my life has been a journey that has helped me understand the true meaning of perseverance and has made me ask the question, who am I? At the start of my 10th-grade year, a year students have to make a choice that would impact their future. There were two departments to choose from: Students who chose the Science department were expected to be doctors or engineers, while students who chose the Art department were expected to be lawyers or entrepreneurs. I didn't know which to choose, mainly because everyone thought choosing the science department would result in a promising career, but I knew my heart didn't belong to formulas and elements. I chose the Art department because it consisted of subjects I enjoyed, which were Literature and History, but didn't know what career I wanted to pursue as an “art student”. I was interested In acting, but It did not seem like a career path in my school because there was no investment in a theatre program. Therefore, I never got the chance to explore what I loved to do because it was not considered a practical profession. For a long time, I was uncertain about who I wanted to be, but not who I was. Anytime I mentioned acting as a profession to anyone who inquired about my future, It seemed like only a dream, and was encouraged to find something more “realistic.” When I moved to the United States to finish my High school education, I remember encountering many pathways. I joined my school's theatre program and felt at home, but also different from the rest of the other students because my teacher had said to me, "I joined the party late". I registered for the August Wilson Monologue Competition, so did most of the experienced actors in my school. I wasn't intimidated by this but excited that I had the opportunity to build an experience for myself and to see if acting was just a dream as people thought it was or my reality. I went on stage to recite my monologue. When reciting my monologue, The stage light towards me shined so brightly that I could not make out the faces of the audience. It was blinding yet ever so comfortable. It was as if it was just me in my room, no one around to see me in my most vulnerable states. I felt powerful like the whole world was letting me speak and be whoever I wanted to be. It was a surreal experience. It was after I said my last line, I heard the thunderous applause from the crowd that made me realize I wasn't alone. Once I was done with my performance, I noticed how I took my audience with me to a world of possibilities and how amazing it was to have the superpower I idolized as a child. After that performance, I knew that I could no longer pull back from the fact I wanted to be an actress. A few weeks later, I found out I made it to the semi-finals. I couldn't believe it. I was truly shocked. That experience made me see a part of myself that I didn't know was there, a part that did not get enough credit. It made me realize how important it is to always follow your dreams and to acknowledge the little things that you enjoy.
When I was little, I always dreamed of being a rock star ever since Hannah Montana came out from Disney. Every time the opening plays, I would always be on top of the bed and singing and dancing along while using the remote as a microphone. Sometimes my mother would even scold me for jumping on the bed. Though as I got older, I realized I cannot be a rock star since I was not that musically involved as Hannah was nor did I even have the voice to be one. Then when I was in sixth grade, my English teacher noticed that I was quite good in writing, so she encouraged me to join the school paper in which I did. There, I discovered my talent in journalism something that I did not know I possess. It also happens to be that I was chosen to be a part of a contest, the annual Division of Schools Press Conference, a contest that I had no idea was going to be huge and I was assigned to the Sports writing event. My coach for that event would be no other than our principal himself, a wise man that many people including students and teachers alike respect. To be trained under his wing was an honor because despite the small amount of time I had training under him, I learned a lot from him. When I arrived on the venue, I was surprised at the number of contestants. I felt like I was swimming in an ocean of sharks, but I was not going to let these ‘sharks' intimidate me. After witnessing the live sports event that we were going to cover, I had taken the necessary information needed for my article and proceeded to the room where we will have an hour to formulate an article. I applied everything my coach taught me and submitted my article written in the official paper. The results were to be announced later that day and I did not know what to expect, I did not whether I would win or not, but I thought to myself that someone like me would not stand a chance against those seasoned contestants. But the unbelievable happened, my name was called to come up on stage, a surge of joy and pride ran through my veins. The feeling was foreign to me, but I could not help but smile as I received my medal and certificate, who thought that someone like me who lacks experience would win 2nd place? I was so mind blown that it took a moment for me to register that I would be going to Camiguin for the Regionals. From then on, I became confident with my writing skills and continued to expound my vocabulary by reading articles, books, stories and any reading material I could find. Though as time went by, I realized that as much as I love writing, I did not enjoy it. So, as I continue to find my dream, to find what I really want to become in the future, I let my mind wander by watching films. That is when it hit me, filming and theater arts are the things that I am most passionate about which would explain why I would have the urge to re-enact the most intense scenes of my favorite actors in my own bedroom as a kid. Why I would spend hours back then impersonating people and experimenting on my facial expressions and imitate various accents. The reason why I would be in awe every time an actor has wonderfully delivered and embodied their character, as I pay close attention to detail and dialogue as well as search for any sort of symbolism in movies. It was something that I enjoy. It was something that I look forward in doing soon and as young as I am now, I want to practice it as early as possible. I already have experience in both video and photo editing, my photo capturing has also gotten better and I intend on joining as many workshops as I could that would enhance my potential and my passion in film making grow stronger. There is only one problem that might hinder me from pursuing my dream and that is my family. Mainly because film schools are pricey and as much as I want to pursue it, I do not want to financially burden my family. Also, the last time I opened up to them something similar like theater arts, they were not quite convinced. Even my grandfather was not into the idea of me starring in films because he does not find it practical compared to courses let's say nursing. I admit that broke my heart a little but just because they are not in favor of the idea does not mean I am going to stop myself from pursuing it. Which is why I find ways to enter in different academic institutions that offers courses of my interest by looking up and planning to apply for scholarships. I may still have one more year to worry about it since I am still in Grade 11, but I just want to tell that whoever is reading this, whoever you are, that do not stop dreaming. Pursue it if that is what you truly want. I once read a quote from my school's computer laboratory in which it said, “Allow your passion to become your purpose, and it will one day become your profession.” It was a statement that struck me so much that it has instilled itself in my own mind and has become my motivation in life. Because I know one day, we will all achieve it no matter what.
I was 7 years old when I remember my mom first leaving me. I suppose you could've considered me naive. I always thought she intended on coming back. One night, we were hanging out in the living room, watching her favorite; Keeping up with the Kardashians. (Not my taste). The oven was heating up some bagel bites and it rang, indicating they were done. My mom told me to stay put and she'd be back down. So I waited. After a couple minutes I went upstairs and she was sitting at the table, phone in hand, looking distraught. When she saw me she immediately hung up. She asked me if i wanted a coke, I said yes, and she told me she'd be right back. She left into the garage to fetch it. I waited and waited for what felt like forever but finally my patience wore thin. I walked into the kitchen and opened the door to the garage where we kept a fridge full of soda and found the main garage door open into the dark night and my mom no where to be seen. That is my first recollection of my mom leaving me. Throughout my life she would come in and out, always in spurts and never for long. Drugs controlled her life. It got to the point where when she'd stay the night I'd hold her hand so that I would wake up if she went to leave while I slept. Fast forward to when I was about 12. I found out my mom was dying of a liver disease; a rare one. It had been a couple years since I heard from her. She got into contact with my dad, and from then we scheduled calls. I kept up with her as much as my 7th grade mind could. I didn't really comprehend exactly what was happening. 8th grade. By this time my mom was in hospice. Her disease was beyond repair. With her not staying sober, she couldn't be placed on the donor wait list for a liver. On the night of April 31st 2014 my mom died. I was... devastated. I had gotten home from church and my dad called me into the room. He told me and my brother she wasn't going to make it through the night. I remember picking up the phone, and she could barely speak. I said; "Mom... I love you. I miss you. And I forgive you." And just above a whisper. So soft you could barely hear, "I love you." She said. We hung up the phone and my heart died. My life, as I knew it, would never be the same. I would never see my mom at Christmas again. She wouldn't see me dress up for prom. She wouldn't see me graduate. She wouldn't see me walk down the aisle. Now I am 17 years old. It's been almost 4 years and I still hear her last words to me as clear as when she spoke them. I love her. I forgive her. And we both are free.
Killers are NOT a psychos! Many people believe that murderers, schizophrenics, rapists and others are crazy and abnormal people. I certainly do not agree that all of the things that these people do are acceptable, but have you ever wondered what is actually (normal) in this world? If you stay on the term (normal), it seems to me that its as well as the term (psycho) can not be used with an indication of someone or something, and in general this term is used incorrectly. You can prove this by the fact that we create (normality) only by ourselves, and all the rules that we can limit or make strong, only in our heads. Similarly, (the normality) is only a common thing held by majority BUT not all. And then where does the rest of the minority exist? For example, if for me getting up at 10 am is known as the normality and for others the normality is to wake up at 8 or 9, does this mean that I'm crazy just because most of the people get up not at the same time as I do? Now back to the killers. Why they and other people of this kind should not be called abnormal? This of course is only a subjective opinion, but it seems to me that these people are more likely to be called narcissistic than (abnormal). The reason is that these people have a desire to kill, which of course many of us do not have, but does this mean that their desire should be called abnormal, even if it is not quite orthodox for us, and if they still kill someone, then they automatically become narcissuses because they does not think about others and what concerns them. After killing someone they just calm their willings and satisfy their desires without thinking that others may suffer from that. Another example is that for each individual the notions as (bad) and (good) may vary rapidly, for instance someone think that alcohol is a life-long taboo and a huge sin on the soul, and for another it can be a method of spending free time with pleasure despite the threat for health. So do those whom we used to call (abnormal or psychotic) are really not normal? They are only trying to satisfy their willings, but of course for us it is a terrible act. In addition to this, they can not be called (psycho), since the psycho is a mentally ill person, who are schizophrenics and neuroticans, while the killers simply display not common wishes and embody their goals in life. But if so, then even schizophrenics can not be called abnormal, because for them seeing hallucinations is a normality, however, they can be considered as a group of people with mental disabilities (psychoids). Here I'm not trying to protect murderers or criminals, I just want to say that the word (abnormally or normally) can not be used at all, because different people can treat different things as normal or not, depending on their desire and point of view.
The essential psychology, emotional, and behaviors that may drive us as human beings is self-motivation. Are you one of those people at work who's driven to lead? Or why do you think people are driven to lead? What are the basic human drives that motivate us each day to do what we do? This is one of the major psychological well-being factors that influence majorities when things are getting difficult. As your internal motivation produces in you a passion for life because it operates in the midst of your deepest desire and vision for the future. As a result of this gives you tremendous internal motivation to begin to act on your purpose and gifts and to see your vision become a reality, as you exhibit the qualities of a self-starter. You will find that you don't need to wait for someone to prompt you, or even if they eventually do. To use your gift to work towards your goals; instead, you may not wait or can't wait to get up in the morning and continue working on them as a matter of fact because you have internal motivation within you. It will be so cleared that your internal motivation and passion will foster a persevering attitude you possess within you especially in a supernatural forces, because no matter what or how long it takes you to think and develop your natural abilities, as you put your plans into action, or see results, you keep going on and keep believing and keep going forward ever. Internal Motivation Researchers have discovered that the intrinsic value of internal motivation refers to behavior that is driven by internal rewards. In other areas or perspective, the motivation that prompt people or person to engage in a particular behavior arises from within the individual or personally related to the group of people who just feel within themselves that it's natural or because it is naturally satisfying to them. Then we need to ask someone's when was the last time you did something simply for the enjoyment of the activity itself? Because there are a number of activities that fall into this category. For instance, you may play a game, write a story, you may plant a garden, paint a picture or read a book, evangelize. All these may produce a result or may not produce something or be rewarded in any way but it all depends on the ways we approached them. Instead, we do them because we like to, they make us happy. Let's consider this illustration for a moment. What's motivation you to read this article? If you are reading it because you are just interested in reading articles and simply want to learn or know more about the topic of motivation, then you are acting based on intrinsic motivation. If, however, reading this article by now; because you have to learn the information concerning motivation for a representation in a class in order to avoid getting a bad grade, then you are acting based upon extrinsic motivation. In other words, as we contrast with extrinsic motivation, that's to say it generally involves engaging in a behavior in order to earn external rewards or avoid punishment. Power drives people There is one thing to watch out for nowadays, though. While having power can make you happier, but seeking power does not make you happier. With series of finding there is quite a bit of evidence that people who spend their lives seeking power do not focus on the intrinsic joy of life. So, people who seek power are actually less happy than those who do not. The major question to ask now is there a way out of this paradox? That is, how can you have power without seeking it? From the aspects of social life that means doing things for the people around you. Will makes you experience personal fulfillment, contentment, and gratification that come serving the world through your natural gifts and inherent purpose. As long as you are effective in the things you do, and you have certainty that you aren't wasting your life but rather you are using your time, talent, experience, and energy in the best ways. People will never forget and often recognize that. In addition, to this getting thing done makes you happy. The truth is if you consistently do things in your life that help you and others achieve goals, then your journey is a happy one. Without any doubt over time, you will find that you will rise to a position of power within your network. And that definitely will make you happy. Nowadays research shows that there is a popular image that people who are in positions of power are really unfulfilled. Maybe perhaps they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders Bottom Line, Most of the important changes you've made in your life, that is, especially those that persist continually over time, then you'll likely find that many of them involved a rather high level of emotional drive arousal. It's precisely these kinds of strong emotional reactions that can act as a catalyst to increase motivation and commitment.
Who says that you can't write a best-selling novel in less than 6 months? Who said that you couldn't be a Award-Winning Actress? Who said that you can't make a million dollars in less than a week? Everyone might tell you that, they all might try to bring you down, but the only person that can truly do that, is yourself. I've learned that throughout my 17 years on Earth. It's hard to think that the only thing standing between me and my plans, is me. I like planning stuff out before it happens, like a vision come to life. I want to be able to show the world my writing and at the same time live through my writing. I figure that if I write enough stories people will realize how important this is to me and they will start supporting me. You don't need supporters to make your dreams come true, all you need is you. Supporters will be a helping-hand, but you don't need them. I only have a few supporters and that's my mom, and couple of friends---no one I go to school with or live around. That's why I am learning that you don't need supporters to make your dreams reality, all you need is hope, confidence, hard work, effort, time, and a place where you can just escape to get your work done. I also learned that you can't just say you are going to do something because saying it won't make it come true neither will believing in it. In order for the believing to work you have to get up off the sofa and do research, make phone calls, send emails. You have to literally get up and do it. When I was younger I thought movie producers will just come knock on your door and ask you if you wanted to me in a movie, But now I know it's a way longer process. You have to get experience, and then after you feel like you have enough( get at least a couple of years. Maybe 8 months-3-8 years) , get an agent, who will then call you in for a interview, and be sure to show that agent that you belong to their company and you deserve to be represented by them. They will be the ones who find you auditions, and keep in mind, you won't fit all. If you get an audition it's only so likely that you will fit that part. As an actor, you will HAVE to take rejection because there will be a lot of it. I don't mean to bust anyone's bubble but you may get rejected 50, 90, 200 times before you land a role, acting is hard and you just have deal with the whole package. It's like a box of crackers you buy from the store, each one you eat could be stale and then finally you bite one that taste fresh. That cracker will be your ROLE your PART. Now, you just have to show and give everything you got. As an Actor you should spend at least an hour learning your lines, because if you are prepared when they call you back---Callback. They will know that you're taking your job seriously, and that will give you a good reputation in Hollywood. It's best to began acting at an early age because the earlier you start the more experience you can gain. When I was younger that was when I was more brave, I loved reading out loud, talking in public, singing, dancing, and everything. That would of been a good age to start off my career. But now that I am older, I am more nervous, and care about my peers opinion. Even though I shouldn't, I do. I am starting to kind of get out of that phase though, everyone at my school basically knows I want to be an actress, and some are like " Yeah Right." While others are like " If you are going to dream you may as well dream big." I really don't understand that either even my " Friends" say that. That just goes to show what kind of people I hangout with. I am ready for this whole " Wannabe" " Going-to-be" thing to be over with, I don't live close enough to any theater, my school doesn't have a drama club so I am stuck waiting to go to college or something. It's at least a year or two away but I have a long way to go in life, I am only 17. I have a lot of confidence in EVERYTHING I do and that's what everyone needs, they need confidence. I want to share my confidence, advice, and tips to everyone on whatever they need them on. No matter if it's singing, dancing, writing, acting, sports. I am here to give you that little bit of confidence that you need. If you need any advice on anything, email me at: email@example.com or send me a direct message on biopage. ( please when sending me an email, use BIOPAGE ADVICE with what you need advice on, Example: BIOPAGE ADVICE: BASKETBALL') I hope that you all enjoyed this little segment. * PLease comment down below if you think I should make a YouTube Advice Channel.
The girl who seemed on top of the world often gasped for air, thrown and battered by the waves of an angry sea. If you asked her what was wrong; if you asked her how she felt; if you asked her to explain everything awry she'd hold her tongue, smile, and say “nothing.” Looking back though, I know she was depressed. I know she was anorexic or quickly on her way to being so. I know she was falling apart at the seams. Kids would steal her food the one day she had it just to throw it away before her eyes; tears would swell and pour out while she sat alone in the dark corner of class; body, mind, and heart would ache ferociously till she yearned for her eyelids to close and fall in an unwakeable slumber. When her head felt too heavy to lift, when she felt herself breaking and anxiety creeping up this girl woke up everyday and kept waking up everyday for one reason and one reason only: rehearsal. “All I have to do is get through today, just one more day. 15 more hours. . . 10 more hours. . . 5 more hours. . . 1 more hour.” I look back now, transported through this window of a skinny, smiling girl in costume holding a bouquet of flowers standing next to her family. Her hair shines gold, her eyes glimmer blue, her flowers beam pink. I still have my hair and my eyes and those flowers are still my favorite, but everything past the frozen frame feels beyond seas. On the first day of rehearsals this girl stood in the choir room doing something she never dared do, sing. Sing so people, if they listened, could hear her. As time moved on this girl learned new choreography and danced in the lobby, danced like no one was watching. This girl put everything out on stage like she didn't have a care in the world. She would sing and she would dance and she would act and she would let herself go free. This girl smiled everyday from 3:15 to 5:00. Smiled till her cheeks hurt and she thought she couldn't bare it anymore. The time after school in the lobby dancing, in the auditorium blocking, in the choir room singing, was her escape. Her portal to a fairytale land where she would do anything to keep returning. Once, while she ran in gym, the room began to spin and her guts threatened to pour out on the floor. The teacher sent her to the nurse's office and the nurse tried to send her home, but she refused to leave school. She had rehearsal and she needed it to get through the day. If she went home she'd have to go through a strenuous 12 hours without any help; without any escape. She needed to keep coming back to that mystic land, but closing night was quickly approaching and the fairytale reaching its ending. With her bullet, she grasped for the last wire ropes, something to anchor herself for the few coming months till the leaves fell off the trees and the cold brewed in and the next story would begin. The ropes fell fast and the anchor proved faulty. The ever changing world proved too much for this porcelain girl. To a stranger, this frozen moment encapsulates a girl having the time of her life, and in that one moment they'd be right, but soon after the waves smothered her, and this time she didn't have a reason to get out of bed. Weeks passed by since that photo was taken and she thought herself ready to say goodbye. A loss of hope, a note in her head, a plan in place, she dragged her body around school for what might be the last time. Walking to the class which knew her tears well, she froze. Stared. A poster hung on the wall “audition for the fall play” she read. Her blue eyes glimmered after being dark for so long. She knew she could do it, she knew she could get through the day, and she did, and everyday since. Years have passed by since that photo was taken on opening night, and now, though I no longer drown, rehearsal still gets me out of bed on the worst of days. I walk new halls that aren't so familiar with my tears, I see new classmates now young adults, I sit in new rooms in the center of a lit class. I have a new self-confidence, a new self-worth, new ways to cope if I feel my past begin to haunt. I am no longer a porcelain girl, I am an adaptable young woman with only one true constant: theatre. I will never give up my constant, for it remains my anchor if the sea begins to churn.