Though he was tall, quite fair in complexion, His cerulean gaze was lowered in humility, For he was filled with the shame of poverty; Viewed he himself as nowhere near perfection. Life was a stagnant river of constant rejection. Dismay gnawed at his sad soul in brutal enmity. Wealth he lacked, but rich he was in sagacity. In the company of peers, he feared humiliation. Yet, in the radiance of dawn he arose with hope, Laughed about the sole of his shoe gaping so wide. ‘Much to be grateful for' was his personal creed. His heart filled with faith that again he would cope, Face travails, shoulder challenges and never hide From anything, as God provided for his every need. Image: Fernando Photography (www.unsplash.com)

In the middle of a verdant meadow lies a lake, Tranquil, serene; as crystal clear as a mirror. A breeze upon the pristine waters tiny ripples make, Sending praises aloft as the wavelets quietly quiver. A majestic oak proudly spreads its branches wide, Stands tall, strong, a welcome home for squirrels swift. Grateful they are for the leaves in which to hide. Prayers of love playful zephyrs joyously to heaven lift. Fluffy, small sparrows on the ground busily dart, Searching with keen gazes for strewn seeds. Each holds infallible faith in a tiny beating heart: Devoted to the Creator are all their humble deeds. Many-hued flowers sway and dance in utter delight, Their scent given freely, their colours a rainbow boon. I raise my hands in supplication, tears blind my sight. God's majesty and incomparable mercy cause me to swoon.

A song that can not be heard with the carnal ears. Singing melodies from heaven that the natural hearing can't hear. Songs of Angels dancing around the golden floor of heaven. Only the true in Christ can hear. wonderful music that flows from heaven to soothe the spirit-soul of a man. The melody whispers. in the ears of God's loved one. Songs to assure us. that everything is going to be just fine. Whispering instruments of heaven, drums beating with the rhythm of God's warm Grace. His Mercy waving over mankind another day to live. Quiet! Can you hear the whispering songs?

**To be read after reading the noted verses Psalm 103:6-18 God does not hold a grudge against His children. God does not treat His children the way they deserve to be treated. He does not enforce punishment according to His children's sin; Instead He forgives. He removes His children's transgressions as far as the East is from the West (this means he doesn't ruminate and dig the past up in His current/future thoughts/speech). God is a compassionate/tender FATHER toward His children. Just as God has compassion on His children's human frailty (disorders/ disabilities of the flesh); parents [spouses] are called to extend compassion to their child(ren)'s [spouse's] spiritual/physical/mental conditions. Colossians 3:12-25 Wives, be [a]subject [submit] to your husbands [out of respect for their position as protector, and their accountability to God], as is proper and [be]fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives [with an affectionate, sympathetic, selfless love that always seeks the best for them] and do not be embittered or resentful toward them [because of the responsibilities of marriage, (such the sacrifice of your time, money, emotional growth/accountability)]. Children, obey your parents [as God's representatives] in all things, for this [attitude of respect and obedience] is well-pleasing [c]to the Lord [and will bring you God's promised blessings]. Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or exasperate your children [with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by favoritism or indifference; treat them tenderly with lovingkindness], so they will not lose heart and become discouraged or unmotivated [with their spirits broken]. When God tells wives to submit and be subject to her husband He is speaking a concept that suggests mutual submission and intimacy to LOVE. This concept is characterized by a husband's servant leadership (not enforcing his hand) and a wife's (voluntary) submissive cooperation. The husband's consistent obedience to adopt a servant leadership awakens the wife to develop the skills to temper her desires and cooperate with the husband's servant leadership. The Texas saying “Ladies First” when interpreted and applied by God's biblical principles doesn't mean ‘Woman! Submit first' it means ‘husbands lead by placing your wife's needs/desires before yours– in the menial things and grand things'. Father's are reminded God calls them to make their child(ren) and wife FEEL wanted. Unreasonable demands (criticism, nagging, rigidity, nit-picking) will provoke their child(ren)/spouse to anger and push them to perpetual bitterness with the result of causing/inflicting spiritual/mental harm (that could reach the point of impairment)– not to mention the damage it does to God's kingdom when non-believers witness such strife in a home that professes their belief and love for Christ! This type of strife squelches hope regardless of one's belief in the Lord. Fathers/husbands when you experience your child(ren) or spouse exhibit increased anger, disrespect, distractibility, decrease in daily academic/occupational functioning, covert and overt disobedience, rebellion, physical & emotional withdrawal (outside the developmental norm for that child or spouse) this is a clear indication to you they don't FEEL wanted by their earthly father– it's rationale for the husband/spouse to take what may seem like an uncomfortable amount of their time to humbly consider the degree to which the strife in their home is a result of their provocation, consequently leading outside of God's will (what He says is good for you). The heart behind God's word is often only experienced when the leader of the home intentionally commits to actively pursue God to place a new spirit in your husband and replace his heart of stone with a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). Wives fervently pray this very thing over your husband daily AND believe God to grant you the desires of your heart (for your spouse) that is in God's will (Psalms 37:4, Psalms 20). 1 Peter 3 Sarah, Abraham's wife, trusted our sovereign God by giving Him time to work. There is a caveat to Sarah's example of obedience when the pattern of abuse is established as part of the marital homeostasis in the home: God does not condone abuse– physical/sexual/verbal/financial/spiritual. The ABBA father's intention for the wife's individual right to be safe is prioritized over His call for her to submit when she (or her child(ren) are experiencing spousal/parental abuse rather than servant leadership from a God fearing/obedient husband. Does this mean automatic cause for divorce? Not always. A wife and mother's pursuit to obtain a safe living environment IS within biblical principle. A wife is allowed and will be supported by Christ to live in separation from an abusive spouse- yes, this means a life of living separately if the spouse does not repent and restore his relationship with Christ, church leaders/mentors, and his family.

Subjective and Objective Claims For many years, the only answer I have is that God, Eloi, or Elijah, does not exist as a constructive and logical and conceptual figure from the Holy Spirit for which Jesus was entitled to. He is not there. All was just an illusion in that "9th Hour" of pure hell. Otherwise, it would not be exactly the same thing you as a father, a brother, a mother, a friend, would do to one of your siblings. If there was a relative who needs you, just kind of blood, will be different what God's attitude has depended so deep in human's psychic? Whether the claims about what's wrong or right, or whether he's a cruel or a saint, doesn't make sense from a believer's viewpoint. Every one of us will act to rescue our loved one, even though we will die try. In the course of the differentiations of God's silence, the event is not anew. It's old but it is still having that disturbing primary essential question of comparable or parallel common sense to what I feel in this disturbed environment we live. This particular sentence, however, makes me to wonder since I began reading the Bible by my own pace — "Eloi, why have you forsaken me?" Everyone is trying to convince me that expression from Jesus he did not mean to say. It was just a vague sentence that have a truth-value sense of his earthly persona only, and not by the conquering power in it to alert his daddy these humans were about to kill, and any “practical outcome” should be in the way they were treating him. To let him die? With many things that Christianity world's fighting for? Knowing that below were still struggling for power? That the whole city of Jerusalem was in chaos? People were dying by strange faith? All the blackjacks for the kings and rulers under that justified clouds of injustice and gods seem to laugh during those such process of fructification? That's silly, isn't it? That's the truth. There was the condition. There is no objective claim that Jesus' death will bring a whole process of peace to the world. This silence however of God is a fallacy of his own rule. Eloi-Elijah's motivation is the most savage definition of abandonment, and only for Jesus who seems to depend completely to the conceptual and protection of God, knew the ultimate meaning with dealing with human's senseless productivity and his father God when he chose to make this world a little better, even though for others it appeared to be plausible by the diminished theory upon which we seem to be trapped inside that intersubjective claim of God's silence. I all know that Jesus was in pain. He was dying. That your brother and your sister were in pain, as well. And that your father and unclear as he was, he was in pain, too. And that your loved ones were in pain who are imbedded in their own destruction, and you do not have any sense of morality to safe them -- just as God has his responsibility toward Jesus. This connection cannot be devoid in its own sense of humanity. Jesus was in pain and that cry, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me" is a logical meaning that he was in a painful position of dying. I understand that his words said all what he was suffering, and that his words cannot mean to those humans who were watching either laughing or crying but any meant to God's attention. I cannot take them as nonreal because there was no definition to serve only the transition to bring God's attention and his pain to the earth because there would be no spiritual value. But that doesn't mean anything to God, who is masquerading a claim as the maker, the superior, which he appears to shadow Jesus with no mercy, through his silence?

Excitability God and Jesus, the meaning of filial love or the hatred souls between father and son. It is not always easy to see the entirely connection between the two unreasonable individuals. It's easy to get confused. Of what the massive argument has that both of them have just a suggestion by the intersubjectivity of their own philosophy. By saying that the heredity has been disabled them from the Scripture and the compassionate relationship has been written by furious thinkers. Some believers perceive that among these individuals there is a claim being unknown by their own definition of God and Jesus. As we can consider them as father and son cannot be made up and misused of their own claim with much justification we should. There is no difference if I am aware, you that the connective element on the linguistic sense links to that definition whose function can be related to the conceptual transition from son to father or father to son, or what foreseers have said and sped up like a production of chickens, bring a sense of distorting representation. In the death of Jesus, during nine hours in that position of torture, we heard him cried out in an aloud voice, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me!" With these sentences it makes me say, “How crude God has been! At the same time, I objected that cruelty is the transition of our duality and the question that assume so painful toward a son's love, as well as the punishment if a son has disobeyed some kind of rules could not be broken. Since I was very small, however, it had strained me. I cannot help feeling that this was God's implication for humans' justification. An ordinary, illogical process to tell us that there is a clear message to us. Which one if there was one? It goes almost without saying that if there was one, just one — ascending from Jesus' pain, then regarding the human implications of Jesus calling for help is indeed inhumane. Yet, I am still unable to see the reason of God's unanswered motive. It's crushing me as if I am an old car over unpaved roads. A stream filled with pins and wastes. An unreal world that is based only by the great commission of uncertainty. I defend my decision as a biblical student as well as a sociologist, reacting as I believe it does not have any reason why God had forsaken Jesus. It could be for his own glory? For his personal gain? Was there a hidden attitude toward Jesus' sole reality? If it did not, why really was the reason?

The story I, Hermann Anders, intend unthreading consists in a spiritual walk, in which figures of similar but opposing forms came into struggle one with the other. Symbols manifested through the blood and bones unveiling the iridescent nature of human beings. Don't misinterpret. There was a concrete path, but this doesn't undermine the reality of the invisible one. What I want to bring into relief is exactly that which is latent and hidden. Those secret and enigmatic movements that can be perceived only by reading directly into the essence rather than by a mere recollection of facts. “Path of the Gods,” that's the name of the walk we've done. Quite ironic since its name is pagan when in facts, it was full of catholic mysteries, sanctuaries and mother mary icons. No circles, rather crosses on top of mountains. Perfect for crucifying those pieces of flesh of my two companions: Günther, the coward and Benjamin, the hen. Laying eggs surrounded by cowards who would exchange them for gold – the perfect image which denotes the two. Arrived at Madonna dei Fornelli, the two pieces of flesh went to rest in cages as two chickens that like to fuck with each other. They simply went to a B&B and wasted their money for some chicken prison. I, without expecting it, found this little green garden – Eden – full of blonde, tall and blue eyed angelic nymphs. One approached me and asked if I was starving. I was supposed to catch up with the two others and eat like an old sac of shrivelled skin. Instead, I stayed with the nymphs, ate their improvised spaghetti with tomatoes and vegetables and listened their melodic harmonies. Then at a certain point they started praying for the Lord of the slaves. I was surrounded by a group of eleven hot blonde Belgian catholic scouts alternating between a hallelujah and a “I love you mother mary, protect me from evil. Amen.” How would it be to have my dove in the middle of those hands joined together instead of their erotic fantasies on their Almighty Lord of the Love – even on their knees they would go! And I had to be careful in concealing my nature otherwise they would have kicked my ass out of their circle. Meanwhile, as the fire was increasing and the sky fading, I noticed the demonic eyes of a nymph gazing at me. She would talk and laugh sweetly with her friends as she'd wave quick glimpses towards me. Then, with a sensual circular movement she started passing chopstick delicately on her lips, a tilt of her head leaning towards me as waiting to pick up her call. I made her understand that I was in love with her intentions. But guess what? What could she do? Go against the spirit of all her group of catholic devoted nuns? No! That would dissociate and isolate her. She had to maintain her customs and repress her desires. As the fire was at its last sparks, and most went inside their own tents, me and my prey stayed. I learned that she studies ancient Greek, philosophy and literature, unlike her friends which were all into medicine or engineering. As her words were moving, I was focused on her tall thick legs, wide hips and pastel pink lips. Her green eyes looked like a lake with inside the reflection of the flames of fire. It's not casual I spoke about this anecdote of symbolic forces that supersede over the instinctual underlying ones. These as well are invisible. Forcing someone under clear light or with chains is no fun, I believe. I prefer people to make their own choices, free from the vertical threads of God. And what did my two companions do during our walk? They instituted an erotic form of love of master and slave. The kind of Hegelian dialectic, but where the outcome of the dialectic flip was quite ambiguous. If it did occur, then I'd be surprized of Günther's intelligence. The Hen, wouldn't stop professing and boasting of his premature knowledge on general facts, that once gently enquired to go deeper his trivial constructions would collapse along with him. It's funny how the slave, when in search for a master, attempts entering in the way of thinking of his prospected master. Just for the sake of a custom. Even when the master is full of bullshit, which the slave isn't able to discern for his base intellect. I asked Günther what he'd prefer: a complex truth, that involves some thinking or a simple persuasive lie that explains everything. I'll let you, reader, guess his answer. Then, because of the slave's greatest virtue, he can empathize the most with the master's sentiments and desires. Whatever the master desires, turns into the desire of the slave. Whatever judgment the master would make, coincides with that of the slave. The apparent difference is that the one is legislator of himself, the other is a mere slave. When in truth both are miserable slaves of each other. The legislation of the master wouldn't hold without the existence of his slave, because the master craves the attentions of his dog. God, what a miserable thing you are.

Introduction The corona virus has influenced everyone, and this is the story of how I took on the virus head on and won. I am an essential grocery store worker, and I have been working just about everyday since the pandemic bean. People must eat to survive and keep the economy going so I must constantly work. This is the full story of how I conquered my fear of death and the corona virus. The Miracle That Saved My Life By the Grace of God, a miracle has changed my life from certain death, to a life of victory and courage. Some truly miraculous stories have emerged from the pandemic, and this is my story. I am a cashier at the Wilkes-Barre Pennsylvania Price Chopper Supermarket and I am living through a miracle at the store. When the pandemic hit in March 2020. our sales volume and my work hours skyrocketed. As a senior citizen, I was sure the pandemic would kill me as hundreds of customers were breathing on me and in the beginning, there were no masks or protection. It is a miracle that after all this time, I have not been infected with the corona virus, and my teammates and customers are experiencing the same miracle. Only one of my teammates got the corona virus and he got it at home from his family. I do not believe any of our thousands of customers got the virus at the store. We have experienced maximum exposure and risk and yet miraculously no one has been infected with the corona virus while in the store! Price Chopper never closed up and we never had an outbreak or even a single store relate infection! Essential Workers Grocery store workers were classified as essential workers during the pandemic. The U. S. Department of Homeland Security categorized the protection and continued operation of the food and agricultural industry and related transportation activities as "Critical Infrastructure" under the COVID-19 emergence conditions. In the President's Corona Virus Guidelines for America, the White House emphasizes that food industry sector workers should continue to work and stated: "If you work in a critical infrastructure industry, as defined by the Department of Homeland Security, such as food supply, you have a special responsibility to maintain your normal work schedule." Price Chopper provided a letter so I could travel during the economic shut down. The letter stated that I work in the supermarket industry and must travel to and from work, regardless of the time of day. It is essential to the nation's food supply that I be permitted to travel to and from my job and be exempt from local restrictions, such as shelter-in-place orders, when reporting to, returning from, or performing any of my work functions. My Decision To Keep Working As a senior citizen I could have refused to work because of the obvious health risks. I decided to keep working, and I learned to overcome my fear of death during the Corona Virus Pandemic. When the pandemic hit, I came face to face with my fear of death, and I had some important decisions to make. I trust in Jesus Christ for my Salvation, so it was logical that I would keep working. In the beginning, it was very dangerous, as there were no protections and hundreds of customers were breathing on me. I was sure that I would get the virus and it would kill me. The supermarket I work for was determined to serve its customers and community. I shared my employers objectives and decided to continue working on the Front Lines. It was the right decision, as I have not been infected with the virus and none of my teammates or customers got the virus at the store! While so many institutions have suffered through outbreaks of the pandemic, we have not. As a senior citizen, I believe I should take the risks before my younger teammates, those with health issues or children, and those who are victims of discrimination. Moreover, I wanted to serve my customers, and I was willing to die for a legacy and a testimony of serving my customers, the people I love. I was really surprised that when I made this decision, I was free from my natural fear of death and willing to accept the consequences of my decision. I am taking the same risks even today. Cautious But Not Fearful I am amazed at my teammates courage in facing the pandemic, as they proceed cautiously but without fear. My teammates continued commitment to safety guidelines is the best defense against the corona virus. Conclusion A miracle is a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency. There is no scientific explanation for Price Chopper's success while staying open for business during the pandemic. The store served its customers and community, and by the Grace Of God, its teammates were given the miracle of good health while working in dangerous circumstances environment. For the latest on fighting COVID 19, please watch the following video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1I_cCsaomU

Fire is a scrupulous force. Many of us exit our ‘30 somethings' experiencing polar realizations that fire projects (often uninvited) into our life. Fire- The Foe: Fire perceived as a nemesis tears down the things we perceive as necessary and beautiful in our life: relationships, money, homes, careers, health, dreams, families, countries. We literally watch some of these fires in our life sear away at the structures that bring shape and meaning into who we believe ourselves to be and how we understand the world around us. Cartoons depict this antagonistic fire with the image of evil itself and acquaint it to a poor moral compass. The “Foe Fire” appears as a force to be feared, resented... BUT it only has the power to conquer the surface of who you are-- aka the image of you the world sees you as. It's an Earthly fire unequip to penetrate and bring destruction to the core of who are. Friendly Fire: This second type of fire has the power to weld the mightiest of swords ( one's true self-image) . Friendly fire does not come without hardship nor does it promise to be painless. Instead it promises to put the pain to a purpose. It aims to burn away the strongholds circumventing out heart and soul from growing into its best self. It tempers and kindles the resolve within us to take intentional claim to be beings of love, integrity, humility, self-discipline, merciful, just, ‘others' focused and compassionate. This ‘30 something' is in a constant state of transcendence raising my heart and soul past the pain of grief, loss, trauma and The Year 2020 to see each “Foe Fire” has been and will continue to be hijacked by Divine Hiddenness within the “Friendly Fire” to temper past the pain, resurrect meaning to the hurt, and reveal the ‘human' in me that is becoming a clearer reflection of my Creator's image. Whether the fire in your life appears to be acting as friend or foe there is hope within you. Hope to remain present, active and relevant. You… me… WE are relevant even in our isolation, in our loneliness, in our mistakes, in our pain. Fire won't pay time or attention to what it claims to be irrelevant. The very sensation of feeling a burning high or a burning low deems you relevant….. ….. it means you matter….. ….. it means hope lives in you so CRY! Cry your tears out in the open. Those tears will form a smoke signal. Help will arrive. Seek (cry out) and you will find. You are not alone but merely suffocating in the flames of silence. When the cries of our tears unite, that wretched “Foe Fire” is engulfed by the Friendly Fire that brings meaning and community to your healing heart and soul. The greatest gift God gave us was the power to choose (free will). The greatest power we hold, welded by His Divine Hiddenness in The Friendly Fire, is to choose Him. How amazing is it to realize the feeling we experience when chosen first in a 3rd grade game of kickball is 100 times the feeling our Creator has when just one of us chooses Him?! Literally angels rejoice aka have an all out party. What a ride life is with Him! My positive self-talk for Easter 2021: “God's in this. I'm present, active and relevant in my life. I'm His chosen lamb and I choose His Word and His Works to guide me through this fire and raise me to be the ME he created me to be to help others and show LOVE in His image.” James 3

Hands together with my eyes closed I prayed for a good day, Soft breeze flows through me Swept the bad vibes away. My faith is kept high I know He can make it work, I never have no doubts Even if it does hurt. My heart beats strong My soul is so light, I always protected There is no need to fight. Every day is a different one Please dont be moping, Give your all to God And think to yourself "Just Hoping".

Every morning I have to remind my children to get out the door on time for school, making sure they have everything and are ready for the day. One goes to elementary, one to middle, and the other to high school. Every morning we wait impatiently for my oldest boy to get finished fixing his hair and get out of the bathroom and in the car. I give him the same speech over and over again to manage his time more efficiently. This morning was no different and getting into the Monday groove is hard, I know. I find myself being frustrated but forgiving and always sending them out the door with love and good vibes, trying not to ruin their day before it starts. While pulling out of his high school, I noticed a beautiful red Oldsmobile with a teenage girl behind the wheel struggling to turn into the school. Frustration and anger were evident as she turned over the engine only to have it die on her over and over again- she willed it to move. But it wouldn't, despite her reving the engine and shifting gears. To make matters worse, she was in the middle of both lanes-stuck, blocking traffic on both sides with honks coming from every direction. You could see her panic. Instinctively, I knew I had to help. For a second, the thought of “But I am one person, and not that strong, how can I push that big car by myself?” I didn't know and I didn't care, but I felt that I was there for a reason. So I jumped from my car, left it running and in place, ran to her window and asked, “can I push it?” She was scared and told me, “it's okay, I will get it.” I don't blame her for being cautious in this world. The car wouldn't budge, as she stayed inside trying to get it to turn over. I turned to go back to my car when the man behind me jumped from his. He asked, “ do y'all need some help?” To which I said, “she needs a push!” We both got behind the car and urged the girl to put it in neutral and she did. Still the car wouldn't budge. The man tried to get in and work the gears, but to no avail. Rain started to fall but we needed to get her out of harms way. The man lifted the hood and started working quickly, he asked me to hold a light and I did. I checked on the girl to make sure she was okay, she was staying in the car. She told me she was fine, just a little embarrassed. I understood and I assured her that everything was going to be okay. I couldn't imagine being a scared parent on the other end of her phone line. The man needed to go under the car to fix the switch where the gears could shift. At this moment two more good people came to help. The man asked if they could direct traffic while we were on the ground. They did as asked and traffic began to move closely around us. I held the light under the car as he crawled under it, it only took a few minutes for him to pull the gadget out that controlled the gears. At that point we saw the car beginning to move forward. Immediately we sprang into action, one man stopped traffic and the three of us who remained ran to push as the girl jumped to steer. We pushed her out of traffic and into the school safely. I made sure they were okay before grabbing my car and heading out. Life gives you lessons when you need them, just listen. 1. Time is precious and everything is on God's time. Because my boy is always running behind, I was put in that spot at that time. I should be more mindful that I'm not on my time, I'm on God's time. 2. What if that was my child and I couldn't get to them? I'd want to know that they were in good hands and there's still good people out there that would help them. 3. How dare I question if I can do things on my own, how dare I have such small faith. Thank you for the reminder that you are always with me God. He also strategically placed those other people in that spot as he did me, the man knew exactly what to do with that car to get it going. How incredible it was to see all of this. 4. A new appreciation for my children and their time. 5. God is greater than any of our problems and he may be answering someone else's prayers by placing you in their path. This was something I felt that I needed to share because I'm guilty of being frustrated with my kids/family at times but I needed the reminder that we are put places at times for a reason. God has us where he wants us and he will put you somewhere to pause your chaos to show you something beautiful and give you a strong reminder of hope.

There is a secret to everything, Everyone's secret. Every mammal has its own milk, Even our galaxy has got its milky way, Milk & honey its messengers have rarely seen, Whenever we had it, it was a gift from the Everpresent unseen. We thought we're able enough to produce our own, we usually double it with water & sugar to keep our pockets as lubrified as our eyes. When He denied us the fictitious milk of golden calves, we started harvesting the milk of stray dogs, easter bunnies, our eyes milky with the cataract of money. If you breastfeed your child up to four or five it ain't madness to be locked up in towers, sarcastically publicized, it's throwing his future in the range of his Father's hands. Sometimes a mother's unable to point out a temporary father and even if she did, he doesn't bother, yet the real Father has never denied tears of a child or of his mother. Too often at the end of a life lived in our own sweat and the sweat of others, we count our bars of gold as we were told by the political statistician who kept our heart frozen on doses of ultimate sensation and morphine, too often we discover our bars are milky and their date to be consumed has long expired, that's when we generously melt them and give them to others. If you want your Eternity strong, melt your bars young, before your dates run out give them to Him, give them to the insignificant others... your treasure safely stored beyond the Milky Way.

I can't hide the pain that I feel behind my smile, but I will try I long to feel something again, anything, maybe in time My happy face masks the uselessness that I feel inside I push on, even though I have a strong desire to run and hide I will go on everyday despite the disappointment I feel inside I will win this war that's constant inside my mind I am going to survive the torment of my disease that's buried under my pride I am refusing to give up, though it's hard, I feel the urge to look up I am tired of feeling like I am not enough I refuse to give up, my faith is strong Please stop telling me that everything I do is wrong I am enough and I am loved The one I seek everyday gives me strength to rise above Instilling in me the will to fight when I am weak He whispers, “I am here child, I am the one you seek.” I am starting to feel something beautiful deep within It's His love pulling me through the storm again I know that through anything I face I am not alone For God loves me and is guiding me home Even on those deep and dark days, I see his light Always helping me to win my fight

A friend who is so close to my heart made a comment about me that truly broke my heart. I know it was only a joke but the sharpness of his words pierced deeply into my heart. I was trying to ignore but the pain is so real that instantly my tears started to fall. He said sorry but then it did not ease the pain I felt. What made it so hurtful it is because those words came from a friend who knows almost everything about you. It won't really matter to me if it came from someone I do not know. I suddenly feel so insecure. As what Proverbs 18:21 says with these two different translations: English Standard Version Proverbs 18:21 (ESV) Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Good News Translation Proverbs 18:21 (GNT) What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words. It is so important that we know how to tame our tongue. How we choose appropriate words that will lift the heart of those who will receive it. If words are just nothing but dead words I will never find myself crying. There were times in the past that I was not able to control myself and say everything I wanted to say. It hurts more when you see the person crying because of the hurtful words you throw at him/her. We need to understand the importance of words. If we discern that we are about to speak a not-so-good words let us remain silent, instead. We need to exercise empathy. Since, part of humanity is to fall into sin let us ask forgiveness to those we hurt and to God. if we are the one who has been hurt then let's release forgiveness. Choose love over hurt. Ephesians 4: 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Loving parents didn't stop me, a good education didn't guide me, and love couldn't hold me. So much for sociology, human wisdom, and earthly nurturing. I was never unkind or unloving and my conscience, being sound and developed, was healthy. Yet, my story bears witness to the frailty of the human condition. Like one who cuts the anchor, raises the sails and throws away the compass and the map, those who worship on the alter of humanism are doomed to the whims of the winds. It was summer and my mother had recently passed away. I had a wonderful wife and though there were struggles there was no reason to feel anything but blessed. I was employed, educated, and surrounded by all sorts of opportunities. The one thing I didn't have was God. I believed there was a God, not a problem there, but believing He could care less what I did there was nevertheless no Godly influence to draw from. Suddenly, I was overtaken by strong feelings of regret over my marriage. Looking back I understand now that those feelings which a man refuses to master will in turn master him. Nevertheless, I wanted freedom, at least my version of it, and so I asked for a divorce. I had been playing fast and loose with drugs, drinking, gambling, and staying out late. Godless and rooted in nothing but self-desire it wasn't long before I began to call good evil and evil good. It seems that pride truly does precede destruction. It's been said that one should be careful what is asked for in case it is received. So it was with me and it was now time to see if I truly wanted what I got. No more mom or wife to worry about, no more worrying about others, and no more guilt. This was true freedom, or so I thought. To make things even easier it seems that God, in His wisdom, had timed the revival of my credit to coincide with this precise moment in time. I took on debt and proceeded to buy “stuff” to further feed my selfish desires. Surely it surprised no one in my family at this point that I ended up finding myself a new girlfriend with similar desires. We partied late, worked a little, partied some more and threw money around without much care for anything. Remember, no more anchor or silly compass and definitely no map. The tragic thing about sailing through life without these things is that the wind still does what the wind will do; and so, a storm is certain to rock the boat eventually. It didn't take long for me to run into my own personal God-ordained storm. Having parted with sanity and completely bereft of morality came the inevitable, I lost control. The money started to dry up as my new girlfriend and I spent ourselves poor. Our desires neither wavered nor slept and we wanted more and more fun and freedom. Drugs, gambling, and late night drinking provided us with the “escape” from our problems. Then it happened, I lost the better of two jobs and the money ran out. As sure as the money ran out so did she, the romance was over. Appreciating poetic justice I can now look back and truly say that I got what I deserved. Now alone, depressed, and broke I was smack in the middle of the storm. No more money for rent and no more roof. My brother, who was my landlord, took me in and rented my former place but still it seemed good for me to refuse chastisement. So, unappreciative of his counsel, I loaded my car with what was left of my “stuff” and left. I spent a couple of years sleeping in the car, selling off what I had left, gambling, working hard, doing drugs, trusting in so-called friends, and dwelling in strange living arrangements with salty characters. I severed my relationship with family and real friends and lived for the moment. I was betrayed, mistreated, used, and unappreciated. I was feeling very defeated and quite useless and was not even present when one of my two brothers passed away from cancer. Freedom, it turns out, is itself not free from consequence. So how does this story end? But God! That is how this story ends. Preached to at work by two kind souls I looked and found and I knocked and it was opened. Wisely following sound counsel I was gripped with the reality that God is real and that his name is Jesus and so I cried out for forgiveness while sitting in my car one night. I believed in Him and He came into me and in the blink of an eye I was forgiven. I felt forgiven and felt blessed and most importantly I was reborn into a whole new creature. Suddenly, every change in me that could produce peace and happiness began to happen. Desires can change but not easily and so we know, those of us saved by the grace of Christ, that we are living breathing miracles to His glory! A roof, a wonderful wife, new desires and tremendous peace is what I now have. I am provided what I need and rejoice in Godly desires: to help others, to be kind, work, preach, love, and seek the fullness of God. The bible is my book of choice and prayer is my delight. His word, His love, His way. And so my friends it is that I am finally Free at Last!