Kia ora! As a migrant writer from Uzbekistan living in Aotearoa for over 12 years, I write to honour the invisible threads between places, languages, and lives. Written fifty years ago, this poem still carries the spirit of its time, a quiet resilience, a journey through tempests, and the laughter of birds in flight. Like the shuttle itself, it has travelled across decades to find a place of rest. Let it be a lighthouse for anyone still searching for their own safe harbour. Mā te rangi, mā te whenua, ka hoki ngā kupu. (Through sky and land, the words return in Māori language). Wooden Shuttle Across the ocean's sleepy grin, A wooden shuttle spins within. Through storm and tempest, wind and wave, It sails in search of something brave. The sea, a frowning endless ring, Laughed at this wooden, fragile thing. But on it bobbed, the waves its dance, Its voyage owed not just to chance. Perched upon by birds in flight, They gathered 'round from left and right, Chirping tales from distant lands, Mocking waves as rivals to the sands. “Oh, gather round,” the seagulls yell, “We'll leave our mark, a tale to tell!” The shuttle sways, it moves along, Their quarrels humming through its song. By dawn their voices meet the light, Assured that all will be alright. The king of seas, the storm's grand rage, The shuttle bows and takes the stage. At night, the moon in muted grace, Gazes on through drifting lace. This journey now has lasted long, Endless waters, silent song. The lonely shuttle, old and wise, Bears its tales beneath the skies. One day, revealed, a cliff appears, A rocky face through salt and years. The winds conspire, pull away, But the cliff stands firm “Not today!” Still on it floats through silver foam, A tiny island carving home. Adrift, like us, I might surmise, With hopes to reach the shore, the prize. Its rudder cuts the water's glass, Reflecting days long gone and past. The birds return, they know the plan: To spread the tale of this wide span. Despite the sea's loud, jealous roar, The shuttle lives to glide once more. It spins and laughs like life itself, A weathered book upon love's shelf. With hair of cloud and beard of mist, The sea now knows it can't resist. This wooden thrall, gypsy of gales, The sea's own bard with sailing tales. And so, it dances far away, It laughs, it sways, it has its say. A tale of wander, deep and wide, The wooden soul, the ocean's pride. Through laughter, quarrels, storms, and moon, The world's own waltz-bard sings its tune. A thousand verses won't suffice, This shuttle's song is beyond all price. May this little wooden soul whisper something true to you, too. Ngā mihi nui, thank you for reading.

[BUTTERFLY SYMBOLISM: powerful transformation, metamorphosis in ones life or personality; moving through different life cycles; rebirth; elevation from earthly matters, turning into emotional or spiritual] The human experience is tricky. We find ourselves in the worst situations and sometimes the best situations. Sometimes our relatives are our worst enemies. Sometimes our best friends have hidden agendas. Sometimes you meet your soulmate at the age of eight years old and spend the next 50 years with them living happily ever after. Some people never experience any type of trauma. Others experience the death of pets, friends, and family members. It is the way of life yet when the tragedy hits us unexpectedly, we are never prepared for how we feel. I've experienced nearly 22 years of a thunderous life. My journey has not been easy. I know people who have it so easy and sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have it that simple. Comparing journeys is not the best idea, but sometimes I look around and wonder what it would be like to have someone else's life. Opportunities fall into their hands. Relationships blossom gracefully. They have the best life with little to no effort. It's quite amazing how we lead such opposing lives. Last year has brought a significant shift in my consciousness. My eyes have been opened to multiple fresh perspectives. I've outgrown nearly everyone in my life (except my beautiful dog, of course). I've seen people's true colors. The blind fold has been ripped off of my naïve eyes. Yet the blindfold was never truly on. I chose to ignore the signs. I chose to ignore the truth. I kept hoping there would be a change in the negativity that surrounded me. It took me years to understand that there was never going to be a positive change in people. The positive change would be me who would choose to leave relationships and situations that hurt me deeply behind. It's quite terrifying to take the step to end friendships and heal from trauma, but if I can do it, anyone can. When I love, I love hard. I'm all in or not in at all. I see the best in people. I see their potential and that causes me to stay in dangerous territory. People pleasing and being an emotional punching bag has turned me into a strong, independent, and even more empathetic being. I am grateful for everyone who has come into my life because they have awakened in me who I want to be. They reminded me of my own true colors. Though there were times when I was the victim, there were also times where I was the one hurting others. Through this mutual pain, I have found the light. All of my mistakes and all of my experiences have led to be this person now, so full of love. Instead of being full of grief, guilt, self-doubt, extremely low self-esteem, depressed, and full of suicidal thoughts, I am now full of self-love, confidence, compassion, and gratitude. A question that frequently pops into my mind is, “How much pain can I possibly handle?” The answer surprises me to this day. The only issue is once you've experienced trauma, you worry that it'll happen again. Once you've healed, there are still scars. The experiences never evaporate as if they never happened. They are deep within our souls. We carry them forever. There are happy moments, of course, but sometimes the pain creeps in through the light. The light is then attracted to the darkness. The issue is, the darkness takes over the light with minimal effort. The real difficult part is remembering the light inside. It takes a lot to balance the darkness and the light. And that is my journey now. The damage is done. The lessons are learned. Now to mend the light and the dark is the next level. To anyone who's reading this that relates to any of my words – you are worthy of the best life you can imagine for yourself. Always stand up for yourself and never back down. Express yourself freely. If there's any negative relationships in your life (even if they're family members) release them. Take the lessons you learned and move on with your life. It is the most freeing and peaceful feeling you'll ever experience. It's scary to leave your comfort zone, but once you do, you'll seldom crave it. Life is composed of both good and evil and humans are composed of both good and evil. One cannot exist without the other. Light attracts dark and dark attracts light. All that matters is that you learn from your mistakes. Keep on keeping on. The human experience is tough, but you are tougher.

The Visit Sitting at the end of the kitchen table, bathed in early autumn light, while in mid-sentence, I wasn't the first to notice. Spinning around, she was behind me, outside- in the garden. I was startled by her dignified presence and splendor of her size and color. Perched on the wrought iron gate, not even ten feet away-but with glass between us, she surveyed. She reminded me of a tall, russet-haired woman, I once knew, with stately features, and a strong posture. But this regal creature had feathers, not hair- and stealth talons for stability, and survival. For a lifetime, we stood- frozen in admiration, tinged in awe. We watched and waited, as she watched and waited, with one unblinking eye, like the silver silhouette of her cousin. Then, with warrior wings, the young female floated back up to her home, in the heavens. But not before this red-tailed hawk, had seemingly glared deeply into our eyes, in order to capture every one of our souls.