My name is Charlie and i m sitting with my target in the middle of storm in a locked storage room and she is giving the disgust look as soon as i said the line , the sentence that defines my life now the sentence that defines me now . i tried to but couldn't hold my anger when i saw that expression in her eyes ,what i was even expecting she was just as same as anyone else i know , judgmental! 'what ? are you thinking you are better than me ?'' 'i didnt say anything, i was just _' 'just what ,huh? i can see the look in your eyes . you all are the same , all disgusted , never wants to know the entire story and make assumption !' 'I...." ' i dont wanna hear anything , if you will speak a single word i will kill you right in this moment ' anger inside me started to take its shape again sometimes i wonder if this flame inside me will ever stop busting . there was something in this silence that keep getting dark .until sobbing of the soul beside me broke it , i was relief honestly but then i saw her eyes and something in me just get restless the hand which was a moment ago was ready to kill her was now desperate to wipe her tears . what is wrong with me ?i tried but somehow i couldn't speak a word . 'i was not thinking who was better , you just never ...ne..ver let me finish ' 'but you_' 'and as for disgusting , i think both of us are disgusting , people like us who are selfish and stupid are disgusting ! we can never ever ever can run from this truth ' i was speechless and freeze , she was shouting but crying her eyes out at the same time , for the first time in years i thought maybe i m not the only one in this , she looks so broken when she cries . 'you are going to kill me eventually ,right and kill me now ! its not like i want to live , i m tired ! of everything !! ' she tried to get up but i hold her hand its like my hand have a mind of their own , she fall on her knees and was crying so much wonder if she can breath ,her light brown hairs were all over her face as she lean a little , she put her hand on her eyes and other on the floor to maintain the balance which she already has lost. as soon as i realize my arms were around her trying to provide the comfort they lost years ago , storm outside was growing and loud was it , very loud , the thunder made her shiver and she shrink ed in my arms as she was giving in , i feel it my heart feeling the warm and i realized she was not moving ,her hands were cold and she was freezing she fainted , maybe i overdid it she was not having a good time either how can i do this . I undo my jacket buttons and cover her with it , brushed away tiny hairs on her forehead , she looked calm as she sleeps but i can not forget the way she cried moments ago ...i dont think i will ever forget that. hey folks , long time no see , i was thinking should i could i continue this novel or not ? i m really confused . please comment if you likes the chapter or should i continue with it or not .dont forget to like , please please leave a comment
In 2016 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease - Celiac. At age 18, the concept that pizza, bread, and pasta, would now essentially kill me, seemed to be the craziest thought in the world. Five years later as the world lives in constant fear/avoidance of a pandemic, that fear of my own "new normal," is long past. Instead, I believe it prepared me for a Covid-19 in ways I never could have imagined. _____ You never expect to be diagnosed with a life-changing illness, but you expect it far less in your first month of college. It was not easy. I spent months trying to understand how to avoid this thing called, 'gluten,' and navigating how much cross-contamination I could handle (hint: the answer was, 'none.') Overtime, across the months that followed, I became accustomed to checking every ingredient-list, cross-examining every waiter/chef, and carrying along with me an emergency supply of 'safe foods.' I began to move from a stance of uncertainty at the unknown to one of survival and coping. I slowly moved from fear, to hope, navigating a "new normal." When you can get sick from literally everything around you (sometimes even through the air you breathe) life takes on a new meaning. Sick-days were inevitable, and asking clarifying questions about what sorts of accommodations I'd find at the other end of a journey, became commonplace in my world. I became very accustomed to saying "no" to stay safe, and avoiding anything that may have touched the dreaded gluten. In short, I lived life with something deadly all around me, and I learned to cope again, live again, and even enjoy life again. In the process, I learned to trust. To trust myself, to do what I had to, to keep my body safe. To trust that this 'new normal,' was not the end of the world. To trust that His plan was, and is, greater than mine. What I didn't realize, was that this was all to prepare me. This photo is from my "last minute of normal," on a missions trip, in March of 2020. What I mean, really, is my last moment of what was already MY "new normal." The last moment of my life where my own gluten-related fears were the worst part of my world. The last moment of my life when I would feel guilty for wearing a mask if there were gluten around me that could make me sick, or where I would have to apologize for missing class due to being so sick. The last time I would have to watch as I seemed to be the only one who noticed if someone didn't wash their hands between touching something else, and making my food. The last time I would ever wonder if anyone else knew how terrifying it can be to know that there is literally something that could kill you, all around you. Most of all, it was the last time I would ever consider Celiac to be the disease that changed my way of life the most. I've been thinking a lot, lately, about just how much Celiac prepared me for Covid-19. See, Celiac was a reminder for me of so many things. It reminded me that life is short and should be lived to the fullest. It was a reminder that I am not invincible, and that I cannot rest on my strength, alone. It was what reminded me the most of the promise of 2 Corinthians 12:9: "But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me." During 2020, and now 2021, many of us have been reminded of the truth of that verse. It is easy to just dwell on the after of Covid-19 - on how incredibly difficult the past two years have been for so many. However, I think there is something beautiful about what God taught me through Celiac, and in that last-minute before... Psalm 46 states, “There is a River whose streams make glad the city of God.” In the midst of a passage about desolation, the roaring of the waters and quaking of the earth, wars, and a reminder that God is our help in times of trouble, there is that short sweet reminder. There is a River. There is gladness. There is a city of God. I see that in this photo. I think of what it was like to sit there, by the water, and soak in God's presence on land dedicated to doing the work of the Lord. God used those moments “before,” (in my 'during') as a time to quiet my heart and mind, reminding me that, in the midst of a season where I'd have to remember that He is our refuge and strength, and ever-present help in trouble, there is, also, gladness, peace like a river, and the city of God. There...is...hope. Celiac reminded me to find strength through Christ, alone. Covid-19 reminded me that strength is found only in His presence. Someday, each of us will find we are in the last minute of our time on earth - our own "normals." What will we each be doing when that moment comes? What would be our final legacy? My prayer is that “in His presence” would be my answer. Will it also be yours?
She doesn't ever really sleep. If I make one noise in any part of the house, chances are she's already woken up. She starts her day when I do and expects me to end my day when she has. Amid a pandemic, her schedule is all mixed up and it's undeniably my fault. She had a routine and when I changed mine, it messed hers up! Her leisurely naps, alone time, and frequent snacking suddenly became were getting constantly disrupted with more exercise and never having a moment to herself. While she might've been enjoying it, she would've never admitted it. She's too independent and lives life on her terms. If she wanted to break the record for the world's longest nap, she could! If she wanted to bask in the sun by the window reflecting on the world, there was no one to stop her! When she had the house to herself, which to her felt quite often, the house was hers. It was once she started to settle into this newfound way of life, that she started to realize she could've been living the happiest life she'd ever had. That is, until one day, she heard a noise. Given, she's usually so even-tempered. Nothing ever bothers her and she works to better herself on a daily basis. For example, one time, she challenged herself to take the highest jump she ever could. However, a horrible miscalculation sent her crashing back down. She fumbled into a landing and nearly twisted her ankle! Yet, as strong-willed as she was, she didn't say a thing as she limped around the house for a week. But then, one night out of nowhere, in the middle of her beauty sleep, she heard a “BEEP!” It nearly shook her awake from a deep slumber. Soon after, she figured the noise stemmed from a dream and rolled back to sleep. Then, just as quick as her next breath, she heard it again. “BEEP!” This time it sounded louder. She jolted up so fast, flew out of bed, and started pacing back and forth. As her pacing slowed, her anxiety heightened as she looked down into the now eerie darkness of the unlit hallways. She stood silently, waiting for the worst but found nothing, and heard nothing more. However, for some reason, she knew deep down it wouldn't be the end of wherever or whoever that sound came from. Every muscle in her body tensed up and while you couldn't read the expression on her face, her stomach was in knots. She began to tremble from head to toe and at three in the morning, lied with one eye open staring at the door in fear that something or someone had gotten in the house. She tried to rest her head down but at this point, she realized she had to take some control of the moment if she was ever going to get a full night's rest again. She stood up, weary but courageous and searched the whole house. Creeping slowly as to not trigger the noise from repeating, she scanned every room from corner to corner, floor to ceiling. I would soon be recognized as the one at fault for this too. To provide some context, the beginning of quarantine was quiet. Everyone in the house settled into finding new hobbies or rediscovering old ones. For me, that was cooking. It was something I wanted to start practicing more and being stuck in the house freed up my schedule enough to fine-tune other skills. But first, I had to develop some skills to finetune. So naturally, it was soon after making a batch of bacon that the smoke alarm kicked in. The smoke alarms were new. They had been part of the random “home-improvements” made during the early stages of quarantine. Now every floor, every area potentially riddled for danger, had a fire alarm ready to let us know when the bacon was just a little too crispy. Necessary, but not appreciated by all. Unaware of where the sound was coming from, all she knew was that it was driving her insane. The sound rattled in her brain and she could hear it playing over and over. Anxiety and fear paralyzed her body. Her peace was shattered and all she wanted to do was curl up into the smallest version of herself. Realizing she was too small and physically incapable of putting a stop to the sounds, she sought shelter in the company of those she'd grown most fond of throughout the quarantine. Knowing, if she could get them to see the suffering she was enduring and the madness she'd been driven to, she'd be able to convince at least one person to help her put an end to it all. So, at 3:45 in the morning, in the middle of a pandemic, I noticed a small ball of trembling fur curled under my neck. Unable to settle her, we both stood up and proceeded to walk through the house just to realize the culprit had been the smoke alarms all along. At that moment, with her puppy eyes looking up at me, my only solution was to remove all the batteries. So I did. Thus, putting an end to her pandemic and learning two valuable lessons: never use old batteries for your smoke alarms and to remember that while we're all trying to get through this pandemic, the pets are going through entirely different experiences.
time flies. I open my eyes, I am lying on the bed and my hands are hanging from the bed. I start stretching my body. From the tips of my toes to the part of my head, I am tired. Fatigue has taken over my being. I lie on the bed for hours listening to the sounds around me. From the news of the corona outbreak to the bad and worse news of my country. I get up and walk in a house that I do not know how long I will have to endure its narrow and expensive walls. As time goes on, the family sits in front of the TV and watches the news. time flies. The news continues. Also, the number of cases and deaths that are repeated and repeated is increasing, and many experts are constantly informing and re-informing the latest ways of prevention. time flies. I go back to my room and go out again, I walk all over the house. Now I have checked all the corners of the house correctly and accurately. It has been days and months and I repeat this every day. This cruel time no longer pays attention to me. The damn news that no longer repeats not only my country but also the news of the world's stagnation, and again Iran and again the disappointing news that has kept me away from my dreams and aspirations for years. Maybe he has forgotten what I wanted and what is waiting for me. Browsing the negative news from the destruction of my country's nature and the sale of soil to the price of day to day and hour to hour and moment to moment and the death of time and dreams to review the blood shed so that I can take a deep breath in the smoky air of the sad city. I forgot. To the extent that it affects not only my future but also my initial desires. All this Bad news is again on me and my wishes that I no longer expect to be fulfilled. From lying to stealing from the corruption and hypocrisy of my country to the honesty and loyalty of me and my generation who no longer wants to be like his parents, my generation wants life, not just life. But the world is at war with its life. And how resilient is my name and my generation that has survived so far. I have gone through all the horrors and tortures mentally and physically and not to say no to life, not to say to my choice, so this time I am standing in a place where the world is silent against my grief and generation. Yes, this was my voice, yes, this was my cry. That the world and the universe were silent in his respect. It was my being that the world shared in its grief. It was my inner dead that awakened the living conscience of nature once again to be a handful in the mouth of all injustice and discrimination and the border to flip to hear the voices buried to Be a song with respect to all the songs that have been discussed. Yes, it was the silence of my being that surprised the world with all its patience in the face of the wrath of the times. But you, O I forgotten years ago, find again the hope that runs the universe. Believe that your existence will find a way to all these troubles. Know that you change what does not allow you to change. So stop the time that passes because you are time itself. This time I will return to my room but l will not go out until I find myself.
The heart races, swiftly moving across the fiery landscape, and hastily dragging its reluctant owner along with it. Its goal, an escape from this place akin to hell, is almost within its grasp. My sloppily thrown together preparations don't seem to be enough though; a figure engulfed in shadows as black as a starless midnight blocks my way. I try to ask who this figure is, and from whence he came, but my lips lock themselves together. Then, as if he heard the thought as clearly as I said it in my mind, he steps forward to reveal himself. Even I knew that every story, including real life, needs an antagonist. Yet, like many others, I never expected to be my own. I mentally ask him why he blocks our way, and he gets even closer. The closer he gets, the more my heart seems to sink, cowering in immense fear. He begins convulsing, shifting into past experiences, present pains, and future worries. Luckily, my brain knows what my heart does not; that creature is not me. Hell, that creature isn't even real. Briefly, I compose myself, and stare at this tangible form of anxiety. Slowly, I begin to walk forward. The walk becomes a jog, the jog becomes a sprint, and within the blink of an eye I've moved forwards and the creature is gone. I continue trying to reach the light at the end of the tunnel, and the land itself around me seems agitated by this decision. The fires grow larger than my life itself, creating a graceful yet malicious dance around me. Sparks with a dark intensity fly past me wherever I trod, grazing my barren skin. A heavy gloom begins to slowly roll in. I try to run away from it, but disobeying my commands, my legs begin to crawl to a halt. I close my eyes and silently beg for any person, or any higher power to lift me up and carry me out of here, spending the last ounce of rapidly draining hope left in my body. I open my eyes, and look up, only to realize my last hope was spent in vain. I feel something grabbing me, preparing to drag me deep into the ominously approaching darkness. The steam from my last shed tear climbs my face as quickly as the tear rolled down. I think to myself, “There is no hope. I will never escape this.” Multiple creatures of billowing shadow whisper cruel words into my ear, reaffirming these thoughts. The figures all swirl around me, forming a pitch black tornado and releasing their intense hatred upon me. The largest, and darkest of the figures slowly comes out of the whirlwind and approaches me. A vindictive smile creeps across his face, and he slowly raises me a knife. A bit of reluctance builds up in me as I take the blade, but the faceless voices around me scream in joy, convincing me of the validity of this decision. I turn the knife around, and point at my throat. The cacophony of blackened screams around me grow so loud and restless that they're basically indistinguishable from typical white noise. I let out what I believe to be one last whimper: “goodbye world”. As I get ready to make death my escape from this hell, I can barely make out a seemingly human voice crying out against my decision. I hesitate, and slightly lower the blade. The whirlwind of shadowy figures around me begin to grow agitated. There it is again, and I could make it out clearly this time: a friendly, human voice. The screams around me that were originally of joy shift to sighs of disappointment, and wails of agony. My heart begins to rise. The tornado around me shrieks in pain and terror as an entrance is forced into the tornado. A figure of what appears to be pure light offers me their hand. I grasp them, hope welling up in me once more. That hope was all it took. The world flashes a white purer than the stars, and I feel grass beneath my feet. I look around me, and instead of my hellscape see a meadow, with the person shining brighter than both moon and sun combined smiling at me from within. That was the moment I realized something I now think everyone needs to know. The light at the end of the tunnel won't always be an object or come from within; the key to your cage is never inside with you. The light can be someone around you, an animal, a river, a song, whatever you want it to be. Light has no defined shape. Surround yourself with as many lights as possible, not figures of malevolent shadow.
I am an unfortunate Indian scientist subjected to negligence racism,discrimination. Governments and organizations didn't support&provide research opportunities to me.I built a small lab at my house and over a 10000 researches and studies have been conducted on weather problems&natural calamities and more than 1000 research papers are prepared and published.Mainly I have formulated the BASICS OF GLOBAL MONSOON TIME SCALES, IRLAPATISM-A NEW HYPOTHETICAL MODEL OF COSMOLOGY, GEOSCOPE,INDIAN MONSOON TIME SCALE.I am now making my life's last journey with hopelessness&sickness.Find out my researches in all websites by searching it's aforesaid names or GANGADHARA RAO IRLAPATI and bring me into light by making references in your publications.
The following are my musings of victims of 30 year long ethnic conflict that ravaged the beautiful isle of ours, Sri Lanka, for 30 protracted years. People opted to flee the war-torn areas then by boat to India for dear life. Now that the situation is back to normal, I hope those who left will come back home to start life afresh. All that wealth, amassed in my whole life Reduced to ashes in seconds by cruel hands Now, left with all assets that barely stuffs a duffel And bereft of all choices, we await destiny to take hold. Through the dense, dawn mist The boat speeds ahead at full steam Over the horizon, we descry a vista of new life Rekindling hopes of life anew Once beached, we race for high ground Looking for peace, freedom, and equality. The reception party that welcomes us Shepherd us into camps already chock-full of fellow travellers. At last, we breathe in peace, our hearts aflutter With our cherished hopes and lofty dreams Determinedly anticipating a fresh life Though tagged with the indelible epithet ‘REFUGEE'.
Good Day, Wow wee has time just flown by. This summer I spent my time re-writing my manuscript for the editors. My book Viktor, Into the Light will be out sometime in the summer of 2020 and I am delighted to share this exciting moment in my life with you. I am just thrilled that my dream is on the precipice of coming true! Publishing one of my books and having it made into a real book is so exciting for me.I have waited 40 years for this moment in my life and now it is finally happening for me! This is just wonderful! The whole experience of writing Viktor has been quite magical and inspirational. Since 2014 I have written 5 books, with Viktor being my first for publication. I hope you all have something exciting going on in your lives that just brings you pure joy! Have a wonderful time dancing through life. Look for my book; it will make a great gift for someone you love. Thank you for your time! God Bless, Julie Ann
Little torch, thanks for your help. Letting me pour my heart out, with ink on a paper.. Enough resources for a story? A tragic one? Romantic perhaps, or maybe horror! But what's the reason for my worry? Sadly I got no clear answer to that, but I do feel emotions, Not the good ones though... So dear torch lead me somewhere! Low on batteries, I know... Nowhere, I suppose, I could go... Just like your fading light; I want my emotions to fade. As I lay down trying to sleep. But I can't move this emotion heap! I want to forget all my worries for a while. Switching off this little torch. Hopefully switching off my emotions too. dear worries, later, I assure you. I'll clear this due. I'll feel those emotions with every inch of my body , every inch of my soul. If that's what it takes to be free. But not today... I've had enough for today's share. Dear worries come back later. I'll be scared for you, and I'll let you scare...
Jack raced through the dark, twisted forest. The sound of his frantic, thudding feet echoed through the eerie night. He knew he had only moments before it would be too late and they would find him. Jack could almost hear the clock ticking down in his mind. He spotted an old apple tree and quickly scrambled up its ragged branches. He crouched in the cover of the leaves as quietly as he could. In the distance, Jack could hear the sound of crows cawing in surprise and frantically flying away. “They're getting closer,” Jack thought.”I could try to run, but they're stronger and faster, and they'd catch me for sure.” Suddenly, Jack heard the sickening crunch of an apple underfoot and knew his pursuants were right beneath him. His breath was ragged and shallow, and he was certain his racing heart could be heard from miles away. A bright light blinded his eyes, and he heard a shrill voice call out, “I found you, Jack! You have to count first next time. Now climb down from there and help us find the rest of the gang so we can play another game of hide and seek.”
“Thanks for coming in such a short notice hun, it was such a last minute meeting Carlos had. If it wasn't for me having to go to New York Fashion Week I would take them with me.” Nikki shook her head, “No it's fine, besides I was just going to go back home earlier. So you saved me.” Janice stood at the door with her straight light brown hair, falling over her shoulders, and her bangs covering her light brown eyes. Her tan skin was the only difference since they were younger. “Why were you going to go back home? Wasn't it you who said you rather gouge your eyes out than to spend vacation with them?” As Niki walked inside, she saw Carol and Carlo watching an animated movie, “Hey, your favorite aunt is here!” Niki walked further inside and straight into the living room where they were watching the TV. Without receiving a glance she sighed, making her way into the kitchen island that separated the living room from the kitchen and dining room. "Thank you so much for doing this." Janice handed her a bottled water to which Niki smiled "It's no problem at all. I didn't have anything else to do." "Well you do, you got your sister's wedding. You should be in Florida by now." a tinge of anxiety grew inside Niki, making her frown. "I see Em told you about her wedding." Janice nodded. "Yea. She had asked for the kids to be the flower girl and ring bearer. I couldn't exactly say no.” "Really? I thought she would ask you to be her godmother of something. I never expected for her to ask me to be one of her maids of honor. We never really got along, so never really crossed my mind. Apparently they have everything and all I need to do is to measure my dress." Janice shook her head. "You're her sister, no matter what your differences are you two will always be sisters. I expected them to tell you sooner, which makes sense since you would've disappeared if you had a heads up. I want to hurry this trip up so I can have enough time to go to the wedding." Niki just stared down at her hand. She knew what was coming next. "Niki--- you're the oldest out of you two, don't you think you should've gotten married before Em?" Niki sighed, forcing a smile. "I don't think that there is someone out there for me. Besides, I was never one to go out and talk to people, you know this. It's understandable why she is ahead in a lot of things. In any case, I don't think age matters when you get married. I don't need anyone anyways. I don't think I'll ever get married, besides I'm glad my sister is getting married. She deserves to be happy." Niki tried to keep her smile but it was slowly fading. Janice smiled getting up in the process. "Alright I get it. Well I should get going if I want to make it back on time. I'll see you in a week, okay?" Niki nodded giving her a quick hug before she walked into the living room to say goodbye to the kids. When she left they all sat down quietly as they continued to watch the movie. Time passed slowly making it difficult to keep focused on the movie, before she knew it was an hour past dinner time. Standing up, she made her way into the kitchen grabbing the essentials to make her specialty, Mac & Cheese. They ate it happily, while they talked some more about the wedding, making them yawn from exhaustion. They walked upstairs to get ready, finding their beds their heads hit the pillow, automatically falling into a deep sleep. Once the kids were safe inside their beds, Niki made her way downstairs. She was about to lie down on the couch again when she heard a key turning the lock on the door.She got up and cautiously walked to open it, surprise taking over her face as she sees a young looking guy with light skin and light brown eyes that were mostly covered by his black medium length hair, his curly locks hiding bits of his eyes. He was tall, which distracted Niki from her current situation at hand. This guy was exactly like Janice, except he was obviously a guy. She felt a strange pull towards him that she decided to ignore. She couldn't stand the awkwardness of the situation. "How may I help you?"She asked trying to stay calm. She was never good with talking to guys and that irritated her. The guy smiled sweetly "My names Adrian, what's yours?”
She looked up at the dull, dark, gray sky. It still looked calm, fitting how she was feeling completely. Numb, broken, alone despite the people around her. This was her fault though, she had let an opportunity go far away from her grasp. She had it, she lost it then now she craves it, but it's all too late now. It had all started a few months ago, back in the beginning of spring. She had left her house in the morning to go to her best friend's house, Janice, to take care of her kids while she went away on a business trip for the weekend. As she drove down the street she remembered the conversation she had with her mother the night before. They had started out with a normal conversation about how her family back home was doing, not failing to mention that her sister, Emily, was getting married soon and that they wanted her to be the maid of honor. She had agreed, explaining that she would go home for a while that coming week. Feeling the horrible question coming she tried to ease the conversation away but it had been asked since as long as she can remember. "When are you getting married?"Niki sighed. She got tired of having people ask her that all the time. So what if she didn't get married. What if she wanted to be alone? What if she was happy without having someone by her side? Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by her phone ringing. "Hello?" "Niki? When are you getting here my plane leaves in an hour.” "Oh hello to you too Jani. I'm here so can you please open the door." And she hung up. A few seconds passed when the large mahogany door opened with Janice standing by the entrance of the door. The house looked average on the outside with the white walls and stone foundation, the landscape making it look much more lived in. Nikki walked in glancing around the already familiar home. The high ceiling lights were on allowing a warm undertone cast on her furniture and throughout the house. White walls decorated with pictures of family and friends, making it feel like home, which in a way it should be.
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