Do you want to know The future as it comes Or would you stick your head beneath the sand and show your bums ? If i cant see the nasty world Then the nasty world cant see me Like in the woods a tree falls down Without a sound to see...
How would life be without you? I struggle to imagine What would i do Without you guiding my footsteps Life is filled with ups and downs, but you have gotten me through them Roads with broken lanes, but you have helped me climb all the hurdles My past was pitiful I didn't have a direction nor did i have a plan but you came along and led me through the darkness Doubts resurface at times because i haven't seen you, but i know you're here with me Your wonders and glory are beyond what man can comprehend and see So marvelous, so true I cried unto you, and you answered my cry You turned my frown upside down and gave me a million reasons to be thankful I open my eyes I'm in awe of your love and compassion towards us I can't thank you enough, but i'll keep on thanking you I may not be able to express my thoughts very loud and clear, but i express it in the way i know to show my appreciation Father , i love you Always and forever. This is actually a poem i wrote for quite some time, but i was waiting for the right moment to post it. It talks about our Faith in Our Lord Jesus christ and generally of the journey of Christian faith. At times we as christians doubt, and that's human, but Jesus hasn't given us any reason to doubt us, as He shows it from His actions. He loves us with all our imperfections and flaws. I have gone through my fair share of never feeling good enough and like i was too damaged to even acknowledge God, but God doesn't see us as broken. He sees us as His children. As a christian, doubts comes but the only way we can overcome them is to pray. Jesus died for us, and there's no doubt about that. No matter how imperfect we think we are, He assures us that we are perfect and we are His children and that he'll always be there, in both good and bad times. This reflects genuine love and i'm happy that i can call Him my father. Follow christ and you'll genuinely experience the true meaning of happiness and the future Jesus has planned just for you, his child and remember, Jesus loves you.
I'm a female manipulator Something I've come to terms with It's easier than you think Call a boy pretty once He's yours forever I feel justified in my behavior Man after man lying to me when I didn't know better I lash out and retaliate after pain I take it out on others But I'm not hurting the ones that hurt me After years of constant disappointment I'm wounded I feel justified in my behavior Because my type is not-great people Almost a vigilante Except I forget I'm perpetuating a cycle People hurt people because they were hurt themselves By someone else in this pattern of abuse I feel justified in my behavior I'm open about this fact Right away I warn that I'm a bad person Run, if you don't want to be led on because of my confusion I don't feel justified in my behavior Some of them are innocent Great people But they give me the attention I so desperately crave So I hold the carrot and push them away with the stick I don't feel justified in my behavior Because I don't feel anymore Any remaining shred of vulnerability, trust, and whatever the hell else Has been stripped away from me I wish I could fall in love Instead of constantly doubting if I even like this person Allowing for vulnerability, even to myself It is even worse to not know how you feel Than to feel it I would sacrifice myself to constant disappointment For even half a chance of some kind of emotional stability I'm consciously aware of what I need to change Except I can't It feels better to inflict some of my misery on others I don't want to process it Relive and put myself through more trauma A knife in a wound can't be pulled out Otherwise you're gone Be patient, wait for a doctor I've been stabbed Some of the wounds so old they've begun to heal around the blade I haven't arrived at the hospital yet Only loaded onto the EMS gurney I'm a female manipulator And I'm sorry for those I've hurt
If you're lying, You are incredulous You allow penny truths to spit off your tongue Into my slot machine heart The rush of a gamble on love, The rush of winning or losing Why aren't you perfect? You showed me you were perfect. What did I do to change things? The wrath of my embarrassment is closing in I thought I'd want you to own my flesh and bone Soul, body, and mind I don't know if I believe you I do know I love you Without you I am not me
"Hope's Walk" I am here alone to the dark of a desolate beaten path, often traveled and packed by the weary tread of wayward soles. The path of heartbreak, the path of shame, a path so broken not cared to name. Time a wisp to lapse, pain no stranger to drive me through memories looked upon as wasted endeavors. Memories that do bring joy that fades to strife, and comfort that bleeds into remorse. I'm shut out and shut off from the world around me, portals closed and electric off, I peer through the darkness to shout against a storm of internal anguish. My soul a blackened lit candle suffering a tumultuous gale of doubt and ridicule. I strive to yield not to the hurricane of depression derived from what is and what may be. I struggle to lift myself from the well of the fallen to set my mind free, free from the torment, from the turbulent turmoil that festers within me. Faith, I keep, in me, my spirit, my light within. I will walk this weight weathered path that stretches before me, ever optimistic that my second chance will find me... or I... find my second chance. (Image courtesy of www.freepik.com)
Whatʼs your purpose in life? I still remember that event caused me to muse about this question deeply and to find the answer to it. The 16th of March. In the morning we didnʼt go to school. Bad news was being announced about the enterance of Coronavirus in Uzbekistan. Before we were banned to only celebrate holidays , but now we had to stay at home. Online lessons began but both teachers and pupils were not ready and their knowledge about social networks was too poor: Internet speed was very slow, few pupils participate and lessons were plain-vanilla: teachers gave questions and we wrote answers. Even so I thought I could feel the real diseaster of this illness when it entered in our village and especially, examined me with my beloved people. My dearest person, second mother – my granny was infected with Coronavirus. I was shocked because a thing I was mostly afraid had happened. She was taken to the hospital but I couldnʼt go, any family members also. At that moment the only reason calmed a bit was that my uncle who worked as a doctor was with her. I gave the same questions to myself again and again: When? How? Two days passed. Each time whan I asked my father how She was he didnʼt reply. " The virus progresses hard in old humans. Currently, the only hope is from Allah" - I cried when my mom told me doctors' conclusion. Uncle brought granny to home. Still she was breathing hard. He tried to put on oxygen mask on her mouth but she refused it, nobody persuaded her and also didnʼt take any medicine and just said "Anyhow, I donʼt want". Tears in my eyes I begged "Please, do something, uncle". Actually, I had already comprehended why she was doing like that. Maybe she would be very happy to die. Being happy to die so strange theory at first sight. However every patient who are fighting against a serious illness need bizarre courage. In old age your body becomes weak itʼs quite difficult to find this courage. Also she was left on the shore with the waves washing over her, unable to drown The next day everyone woke up except my angel granny- could She sleep inwardly? I was depressed. Itʼs so tough when you are seeing that your loved one is dying but canʼt do anything, itʼs pretty hard when you canʼt huge him or her for the last time, itʼs challenging when you know that you wonʼt be able to hear their voice anymore. After several weeks I could smell a sweet aroma of something while I was tidying the room." Grannyʼs flowers had spouted" I mumbled and went outside. These flowers' perfume is unique and fascinating thatʼs why every year in spring nearly all neighbours and relatives used to visit to pick up them. For this reason I had named them " Grannyʼs flower". She always said " We all die, our bad or good name stay afrer us". She died but her name is alive in her flowers or in people's memory who have smelled her flowers and in her words said to me. My grannyʼs death taught me to live my best life today and to be strong and that everything is temporary and doesnʼt become as we want. I was going to resemble my granny and I kind of reached my goal . In quarantine in a district near us a heavy rain and flooding took place, as a result population's homes ruined and stayed under the water. Because pandemic it was more difficult to help them. I decided to help them in spite of far distance. I posted challenge with headline "Dear compatriots, you are not alone! We are with you!". Soon many individuals commented and suppoted them. After that around the country the old, adults, children shared own stuff, clothes, toys, food with them. That occasion gave belief to me. Then I started my action online. Firsty, I prepared quiz and puzzles to make lessons more funny. Later I organised online competitions and gathered thousands of youth around me. Coronavirus wonʼt disappear, it will continue but canʼt appall us who are experienced now like before. Years ago, there wasnʼt a cure for flu, smallpox and whatnot thatʼs simple presently, this one will be too. Thereʼs one good thing in a bad one. Pandemic united the whole world together and on account of it humanity realised that they werenʼt be able to beat the virus lonely. I prefer to recall the period of COVID-19 with good aspects. We didnʼt know that Coronavirus would come and cause millions of people's death. And we donʼt know what will happen after a minute. Majority wait the arrival of time yet you are not able to guarantee you will wake up tomorrow . So today live your best life. I trust I found my true self by Coronavirus.
On March 17, sooner than I expected, my paperback is also on Amazon. Three days before my eBook launch day on March 20, when you can download it and read it! Here are the links of English-speaking marketplaces where you can order Postcards From Beyond Reality: The Selected Poems of Michael Daniels and/or leave your honest review. Please don't forget that, because your reviews not only help Postcards to find its way to new readers but also help other readers to get value from your reading experience and honest thoughts and decide if my poetry book is the right book for them. Amazon.com paperback and eBook Amazon Australia paperback and eBook Amazon Canada paperback and eBook Amazon UK paperback and eBook Goodreads paperback and eBook BookBub eBook Jessica Bell designed an eBook and a paperback cover for my YA poetry book I wrote in character as the hero from my novel Cruel Summer, Michael Daniels. They look spectacular and reflect Michael's inner mind, which was teeming with the stark contrast of darkness and light. I will enroll Postcards From Beyond Reality: The Selected Poems of Michael Daniels eBook in KDP Select where you can read it for free, so don't miss that opportunity. Thank you all who helped me bring Michael's poetry book to life. I cannot mention all of you here, but you have my gratitude and sincere thanks in the Acknowledgements section in the book. If you are a representative of the media, please click here for the press release. Postcards From Beyond Reality: The Selected Poems of Michael Daniels and I are available for reviews, book tours, interviews. BJ Subscribe to my mailing list. Follow me on Twitter. Original post at https://www.bernardjan.com/post/postcards-from-beyond-reality-paperback-and-launch-days
The time has come for me to share my new happiness, my new eBook release announcement with you! Postcards From Beyond Reality: The Selected Poems of Michael Daniels is a young adult poetry book I wrote as a companion that is a sibling book to my novel Cruel Summer. Originally published in Croatian in a periodical Forum in 2003, Postcards From Beyond Reality: The Selected Poems of Michael Daniels will be released on Amazon on March 20, 2022 as an eBook and a few days later as a paperback! But you can pre-order it now! In this book of poetry, I dived into the mind of a teenage protagonist Michael Daniels from my novel Cruel Summer, writing about his dreams, longings, desires, traumas, passions. If that isn't intriguing enough, I hope my book description will be. *** His life has been a cocktail of melancholy, sorrow, and desire. When a skateboarder dips his pen into poetry, what will his passion create? After a lifetime of abuse and the tragic loss of his mother, NYC teen Michael Daniels needed an outlet. Despite his cheerful nature, his inner mind was teeming with the stark contrast of darkness and light. So, in this volume full of imagery and symbolism, his underground rhymes reflect days full of extreme sports, failed relationships, and nostalgic memories. Written by Bernard Jan in character as the hero from his novel Cruel Summer, this channeled view of the world is an extravaganza of extremes. And in its groundbreaking perspectives, you'll discover the cries of a heart longing to be understood. Buy this book of poetry and feel Michael's passion through these unusual literary postcards. *** I want to thank the authors from the Best Page Forward team who helped me with my blurb and Jessica Bell for the amazing book cover I am also presenting here. I hope you will embrace this book and treat it with love and affection. Please show some love to the Best Page Forward team and Jessica Bell by visiting their pages. And don't forget to pre-order my book on one of the links below and leave your honest review once I release it on March 20! Amazon.com Amazon Australia Amazon Canada Amazon UK Goodreads BookBub If you are a representative of the media, please click here for the press release. Thank you! BJ Subscribe to my mailing list. Follow me on Twitter. Original blog post: https://www.bernardjan.com/post/postcards-from-beyond-reality-blurb-and-ebook-cover-reveal
Yng Tsina ampopa ing Rusya (China and Russia) (Chapter 1-5) (Part 1 of 2) (English Version) I. February 2022 II. San Fernando Train Station Museum III. China and Russia Sculpture IV. Metiorite V. My meteorite sculpture _____________________________________________________________________________________ I. February 2022 February 2022, I remembered one of my sculpture, I need to retrieve it, Before it might be neglected- I hope not. February 2022, I will get my sculpture at the San Fernando Train Station Museum, It has been to long it stayed there, Fully air- conditioned, Protected from dirt and moisture. February 2022, I remembered one of my sculpture, It is composed a Robot couple of War machines. One man and a woman, Both are riding on a gigantic Mechanical Robot Scorpion, The title of my sculpture piece is “China and Russia”. February 2022, I will retrieve my Sculpture piece at the San Fernando Train Museum, I need to get it because there is construction on going by the Philippine National Railways. I shall get my artwork- My sculpture might be have been transferred because the Museum's storage area has been removed. My sculpture might be scattered elsewhere, Stagnant, Full of dust, Exposed to the rain and rays of the Sun. II. San Fernando Old Train Station Museum Himpilang Daang-Bakal ng San Fernando, Daang bakal, Mettalic road, My English, I am being funny. My artwork is there, It is, I consider it as- One of my Major works, One of my major works in sculpture. III. China and Russia Since we had an Internet, I always Google both of those countries. Just like the Philippines, They are all located in Asia. Since we had an Internet in our place, I have the luxury to visit many places- Including these two countries. The C.G.T.N of China, The R.T. news channel of Russia, Various websites and Youtube channels, I always watch them, I keep on tracking on what is happening, Regarding their plans and agenda. IV. Meteorite In Kapampangan Language, “Taklang Batwin”, And if translated in the Filipino language- “Tae ng Bituin”. In the English language, “Star Shit”. Since I gained access through the World Wide Web, I let myself indulge to various online discoveries, Just to satisfy my bulimic curiosity. I virtually researched on various pebbles and rocks, Their patterns always fascinate my childish soul, That includes their texture, composition and color, There came a time that I started to collect pebbles and rocks, Especially Metal Ores- Sediment with various mixture of metals, These include magnets and meteorites. Maybe it is because that I was a sculptor, That is why I love their texture, I observe and trying to know their toughness. V. My Meteorite sculpture Three years ago, 2019, MY mom visited the San Fernando Train Station Museum, I was not with them, She is with my younger sister, And my nephew and niece. When all of a sudden, When they have had arrived in our house, Without informing me, They retrieved my artwork- My meteorite sculpture. My mother told me that she retrieved my work, because it was just lying around the museum. I told her that maybe my sculpture- was properly taken cared of. And maybe, there were other works- that are presently on display, “no”- and “ there are none”, My mother answered. It is because the guys, from the Philippine National Railways, had stated their work there, She added. That is why I finally decide, to bring back my Russia and China Sculpture.
VI. Limited Physical Properties of My Sculptures VII. Yng Cotchi Cung Mitsubishi VIII. Pate kareng Teritoryu IX. West Philippine Sea X. Yng estatua kung Tsina ampo pa ing Rusya VI. Limited Physical Properties of My Sculptures Peka-materialis cu kareng estatwa cu, Kabling bakal, Ampopang alambri, Gawamit cung Tansu, Aluminyu, Pundidung bakal, Ampopang Aseru. Potang kayi- Pinturan kula, Biyayan cula! Gamitanan kulang pinturang pang-Saken, Elamu basta pangkilub bale, Maliari lamu rin- Aldo't Uranan, Queng kilwal bale. Manibat angyang mica-Internet keni kekami, Karin cu aisip na- Alang permanenti tagana. Bisa cu't e Bisa, Reng estatwa ku, Mamilang cung mapilang dinalan a banua- Manga-disporma la, Kumupas la pintura. Lalu na nung pakyalaman dala – Panyaldak dala, Brusku dalang panalnan. VII. Yng Cotchi Cung Mitsubishi Kwanan ku ne ing kanakung estatua, Ini napa ing gamitan kung panakut kung obra, Ing canakung Mitsubishi GLXI, Model 1990 ya, Sariwa ya pa makina, Lampas 90,000 kilometru ya pa ing pilayan na. Mas makaba ya pa pilayan ing kekaming 2015 a Mazda. Basta gawang Hapon bilib cu, Alang duda, Quality la gawa. Kalupa da reng sasalwan kung nanu-nau king Japanese Surplus, Wa! Basura nala karela. Pero kekatamung Pilipinu alila, Quality la pa murin andyang luma la, Paniglon tala. Yng kontchi kung Mitsubishi, Bilib ku king makina na, Balang sasakeng ke, Manimadjin kung makasake king Jet Fighter. Pwera kareng kotchi, Sikat ya mu rin ing Hapon kareng eroplanu dang Mitsubishi. VIII. Pate kareng Teritoryu Mag Marsu na pala, Osimap mika-oras nakung kwanan ke ing kanakung estatua keng Tramu San Fernandu. Manga-paisip kumu, O bat mika- koneksyun la keng gyera reng a-iisip cu. Pauli siguru kareng ayayalben kung diskursu ampopang balitakeng Internet, Halus paksa makapa-tungkul kareng kada National security da- Kada Bangsa. Ali naman mismung Gyera ing isipan cu, Geopolitics ampopang amanu daring kada alben ku. IX. West Philippine Sea Aganaka ko reng aliwa kung gewa a makapa-tungkul keng panga-aliporis cu queng Kalalangan, Memag-public installation kung mapilan, patungkul keng Teritoryu tamu, keng West Philippine Sea. Meg-public Art Installation ku, Makapa-tungkul la kareng isla keng South China Sea- a tutu naming parti nala ning Bangsa tamung Pilipinas. Ginawa ku muring balamu bandera na ning Tsina, kaibat pepasilab ke king kabanda ku, kabang tutugtug kami banda keng Siudad Olongapu. Para kanaku agagampanan ku ing responsibilidad ku para apabaluan kula reng manakit kareng obra ku a eku buri ing gagauan naming Tsina, Kukwa yang teritoryu a enaman karela. X. Yng estatua kung Tsina ampo pa ing Rusya Uyni, Ikwa kune ing kanakung obra. Anyang disan ke king Museu, Makasapin ya kareng pala-pala- Sapak yang dinat ampopang alikabuk. Kalupa daring aliwa kung estatwang gagawan- Matibe la uning gawaa la king bakal, Ampopang pakabalut laking patung-patung a pinturang pang saken. Kalupa daring aliwa kung estatua, Normal lamung midinan alikabuk, Basan kula mung danum, Kaibat palangian mibabalik la postura.
Chopsuey version NAMBER TU Alas 8:19 na ning bengi- Dininan ku lang dice-dice a carrot.. Ampong sayoti, -reng adwa ming seseng malasian box turtles. Pengan da naman- Siyempre, Omnivorous la reng pau. Nanu-nanu na ing pepakan ku karela- Pindang damulag.. Strawberry.. pindang babi, manuk- miyaliwa-liwang style a lutu. Asan danum- -Sagiwa, miyaliwa-liwang style a lutu. Asan dagat- -Sagiwa, miyaliwa-liwang style a lutu. GULE- MIYALIWA-LIWANG KASI- NATIVE AMPOPANGIMPORTED, ORGANIC AMPOPANG GMO. PRUTAS- MIYALIWA-LIWANG MU RING KASI- NATIVE AMPOPANG IMPORTED, ORGANIC AMPOPANG GMO. Insektu- Kamaru, Ipas, Kuremut.. AMPOPANG NANU-NANU PANG KLASING INSEKTUNG AKAKALAP KU KILWAL- BABAGWA, SALAGINTU, LAIPAN, TREN-TRENAN.. DURUN, TULANG... APOPANG NANU-NANU PA. POST –ALMUSAL /BRUNCH Talibatab Chronicles No. 070719-10:01am Makabawu kung manyaman a asan danum- Pipritung bangus. A pakabalut king cornstarch. Ala na kung pakialam nung nukarin ya pa menibat… Ala na kung pakialam nun nukarin ya plasdan meragul. Ing balu ku namu ngeni- Paratang ne.. Saktu- Daratang ne ing danup ku. Saktu- Ikwa ku ring mipawas a normal. Saktu- Penamdaman ke ing pagal katawan. Saktu- Aliwang pamangan naman. 10:27AM …Asne kanyaman ing pritung iki- Iki na ning bangus Dapot- ..mebitin ku rugu, Atin ya pang daya libutad. Uyta- Pepagbalikan ke king kawali. Bangkanta ma-tusta ya. 10:52am Lugud ng Kumander + Tustadung iki ampopang atchan ning bangus + 2 kutcharitang Aslam [Rose cane vinegar] + 1 malutung lara + .5 kutcharitang gisang baguk+ 1 tasang Nasi+ = Manyaman dapot makasuyang bagya Manyaman/Makasuyang bagya + Lugud ng Kumander (2) + 2 pritung ebun+ 1 kamatis + =Manyaman… Milako na ing suya.. Ayos! Soya! 2:09 ning gatpanapun Kapitulu 1 Ing pusang malarit Tantya ku, Atin ng milabas anam a bulan, Ating pusang babaing makulit, Balang maglutu ku- Tanud-tanud ya keng kilwal pasbul, Manyad yang pamangan. Eke man sikasu anyang mumuna, Uning balu ku nung pakanan ke- Lumo ya, Ampopang pota ene mako- A-ugalian na na kasing tatakla- ….ampong mimimi keng arap ning kweba mi- anyang kapitna ya pa maka simentu. Melunus ku murin bandang tauli- Aaahhh… Ampopang … In tutu nita sasawa naku keng lulutu ku, Nung ala yu I kumander… Ating tagan-tagan. Tutu pala ing kesabyan da reng mangatwa- Na makasawa mu rin ing lutu na ning metung a tau. Aliwa ku kasu- Sinawa ku keng sarili kung lutu. Uyta.. Keng malaguang amanu- papakanan ku ne mu rin. Panaka-naka… Papatad-patad.. Eke buring lumo. Mumuna- Tagan-tagan mu dapot, Anyang kelambatan- Didinan ku ne mu rin bayung pamangan. Kapitulu II Mumunang buktut na ning malarit a pusa.
Talibatab chronicles NO. 06072019 01:57pm Chopsuey version NAMBER ZIRO DICE-DICE A CARROT… Ampopang sayoti… …CHINESE PECHAY, AMPOPANG SAMPAGANG “CAULIFLOWER”. ATIN YANG muring MARAKAL A PAYUNG-PAYUNGAn, ASNA KANYAMAN . Meng-gisa- Metipid mu… Siguru (?) king bawang… Ampopa king sibuyas. Mate la man ngan ding siping kung bale, Ala ku mang abawung megisang gule. Dapot manyaman, Malyari na. Map king ala kung paugtuan.. Kanan. Osimap.. Kayantabe ke I mang Miguel, Mamangan.. Ampopang miminum. Me-kumpletu ne ing kapitnang aldo
Pintalan ke i Miguel Pineda, Kalupa cung eskultor keti San Fernando, Pinwalan keng litratu, kabang kakawa yang obra, mig-document cu- Gamit ke ing Samsung A22 kung smartphone- Digital photografi! Ua! Instant digital art mu rin, foto, GIF ampopang video editing namurin, Mekarakal ku- Ua! Pwera kareng inisketch cu ampapang sinulat ku.