The Princess & The Guy She Thought Was A Prince When I was a little girl I thought the world of my dad. I thought he was the best. He told me I was a princess, and that one day I'd meet a prince. And I believed him. Then I was in middle school and going through puberty I fell in love with a boy named Robbie. I thought he was my prince, and we were going to be married and high school sweethearts. Then I found out what a cheater is. I didn't date him. I don't even think he knew I existed, but when I told my best friend Taylor that I had a crush on him she filled me on his character. She said he was her boyfriend once upon a time, and that he cheated on her by kissing another girl! I wanted to stop liking him right then and there. I wanted to be that strong female character that didn't need to be in love, or have a boyfriend to feel important. Later after much heartbreak, I'd become her, but at the time I still wanted to be Robbie's girlfriend. So the next year when we had classes together, and the year after when we were still in some of the same classes I swooned over him day and night. Eventually, by what seemed like a miracle we got each other's numbers. I stayed up late into the night texting him and proclaiming my love for him. He had a girlfriend though. He told me he wasn't going to break up with her. When I found out I stopped texting him for a while, but then we just started our romantic texting affair up again. To be so young and in love, it's hard to say no to desire and what could be. From the age 12-16, I spent endless nights describing to Robbi how our lives would be if we 're together. But he never told me he loved me, and he told me his mother would never let him be with someone like me. Then as fate would have it I was getting ready for a school dance at my hairdressers. She asked me what lucky guy was taking me and I said, nobody. She asked me if there was anyone on my mind that I might hope would ask me to dance. In the back of my head, the only name I could think of was, “Robbi.” I said his name out loud. His full name. It felt so good to be able to say his name since for so long I felt I had to keep my feelings secret. Taylor had already stopped talking to me by now because of my persistent pursuit to be with him. Everyone who knew about our seemingly secret of texting each other over the years told me not to pursue him. Even guys I thought were Robbie's friends told he wasn't worth it… Anyways, I told my hairdresser and she enlightened me on basically why he was never going to be the man I wanted. Why he was never going to proclaim his love for me. She told me the story of his mother and father. You see Robbie's parents were divorced. I knew this already, but I never knew why. Once upon a time Robbie's mother and father were school sweethearts. His mother wasn't the overweight women who said didn't want us together. Once she was skinny and one of the most sought after girls in the school. His father married her, and they had twins. Robbie and his sister Elena. Then they had his other sister. But then something awful happened. Robbie's father cheated on his mother! He then left her and never spent another moment with his children. At this moment something just clicked inside me. All the years of trying to get Robbie to love me, but him telling me his mother would never allow it. All the times he told me had a girlfriend. The times he sent me just looks, but never actually spoke to me in public. It all made sense. He was broken inside. His mother was broken inside too and projecting her fear onto him. And in return, he refused to believe in us. It all made sense. It wasn't the fateful answer sent from the universe and told through the voice of my hairdresser that I wanted to hear, but it was the one I needed to hear. I didn't try to pursue Robbie after that. Many years later we reconnected on Facebook and I still haven't told him why I think he never asked me to be his girlfriend. Instead, we just chatted about how far our lives have come. I have a daughter named Love and he's off being a drummer in bands and traveling the world. He's had a lot of chances to declare his love for me, but I don't think he ever was in love with me, to be honest, and I don't think he ever will be. I have someone in my life now he didn't waste one second and still doesn't telling me how much he loves me every single day. He loves my daughter, and he can't wait to be married to me. I know I was young then and so was Robbie, but if he hasn't figured out how great I am by now he never will. And for that reason alone I'm glad we never dated and were not fated for each other forever. I'm at peace knowing that I'm loved and respected every single day. I wish him the best and anyone who finds themselves temporarily attached to him. This story is for all women and young women out there who have loved and lost. For it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. The End
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