I open my curtains. I peek outside, what a lovely day. I check my phone 40 missed calls,52 messages and 300 Twitter and Facebook notifications.The Covid-19 cases now stand at 17,000. When did we get here? I go out to buy groceries. I can tell people are throwing me side glances for not wearing a mask. I want to shout, “I will buy and wear one.” I feel like I am in a totally different world, you can't tell who is smiling or sneering at you. But I am craving pasta and chicken sausages.I have missed carbs.I will take a shower, a long hot shower. Change my sheets. Clean the dishes and dust the house. There is green and black mold on my dishes, Yuck! I bet there are almost 200 types of bacteria here, good grief! My house now smells good, I smell good and I am hungry. I sit to enjoy this meal, I check my phone and decide to make a call to my mom. She is surprised, I can tell. I have not talked to her in a month. I tell her of my accomplishments for the day. She is proud of me. Not the pride that she will compete with her friend at the spa on whose daughter is doing better. "My daughter got admitted to Yale." "Oh, my daughter bought some groceries". But she was proud. I could see her soft smile. We ask each other about the weather (you have to talk about the weather, otherwise that's not a full conversation). You see, my mom is in her mid-fifties, she is what us millennials called the boomers. She doesn't know how to approach me with these difficult questions. She treads carefully. She does not want to upset me. It's almost like she's walking on eggshells. I should I call my sister? No, she will not understand. At this very moment, I don't need any negative vibes in my life. I am in a happy place. I have been drowning in my darkness for over a month. My bed has been my refuge. Sleep, wake up, sip a soda then sleep again, rush to the bathroom. A routine. My mind has held me hostage. A prisoner in my own body. Let's go back to where it all started. I received an email from my boss.“We will need to have an urgent meeting to strategize on the way forward and adapt to the current situation.” “Well noted. “I replied. I arrived at work very early the next day for the meeting, all excited and drafting changes that we can make to adapt to Covid-19. Then I had tea. We discussed various issues, of what will change, remote working and even which tools we'll use for collaboration. After the meeting the boss requested to see us each individually. Being an over thinker, I thought of the worst possible scenarios but I was calm. I tried to read the faces of my colleagues after their meetings but I might as well have been working with statues. No expression. Nothing. It was now my turn. My boss first question, “Do you love working here?” I wanted to roll my eyes but the spirit of my ancestors held me back. “Of course I do. “Unfortunately, (even before he went on, I knew what was coming) we are going to use force majeure in the light of this situation and let you go. Hold on a minute, what is force majeure and why is it being used on me? Is it a conspiracy theory? Is it a grading system? Make me understand, Sir. Honestly, I had not heard of that phrase before but it sounded French. I always love and find French people to have a very sexy accent, very chic and ethereal but at this point I was cursing them and their miserable language. My mind spin and I found myself asking, “Will it happen next month or next year?” “No,this month. “He said. “Was my work not great? “I asked. “It was good” ” Then why me?” ” It was a management decision.” I almost told him but you are the management and the management is you.Anyway, I gathered the little dignity I had and left. I was not going to beg. My colleagues got pay cuts but it was way better than my case. This decision seemed final. So I passed by town, people seemed to go about their normal business. I went to Sam's shop; he was my cupcake plug. . “Sasa Sam, naskia nikiwa down, nipe cupcakes nane.” (Hi Sam, I'm feeling a bit down give me 8 cupcakes) “Haha, kwani hii ndio dawa ya Corona?” (Is this the cure for Corona) “Acha hizo bana.” (Stop joking) This time the COVID-19 cases were about 50.I asked him. “Na kwani hamuogopi Corona?(Are you not scared of Covid-19) “Sisi hatupandi ndege.” (We are not travelling on planes) “Kwani Corona iko kwa ndege pekee?” (Is it only on planes?) “Si iko Wuhan, Shaina.” (It's in Wuhan, China) “Haya basi, tujichunge.” (Let's take care) As soon as I got home, I texted my mom. Then it hit me like a tornado wave, Oh, sis you are fired. I broke down. I was good at my job. I went over and above to deliver. Why didn't he put me on a pay cut? I tried to look back on where I went wrong. I became miserable. This job was my identity. It gave me a purpose. A week passed, then a fortnight then a month. But today I woke up and felt good. It was a good day!
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