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shannymel

Here I Am

Philadelphia, United States

Not so much your average girl.

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You Are All You Have

Jul 26, 2019 2 years ago

As the days go on, I am left with less and less time to fully start living the life I know I deserve. The days get shorter, and time flies by quicker: am I truly who, and what I say I am? I've been dealing with these thoughts every day now. These thoughts about life, and about how I am not the person I was born to be. I'm just a vessel at this point, because it is another soul living inside of me- not a soul of my own. I have been trapped in society's mindset, where being a follower to have followers, is the greatest accomplishment known to mankind- also not a mindset of my own; I would rather not be a follower, and would rather not sell the small fragment of soul I have left. I have been living a false projection of myself. I unfortunately am not fortunate to be blessed with the straightest black hair. With the straightest white teeth. With the lightest, brightest skin- pearly, pearly skin. Nope. Mine is more like the dirt under the pearls in the ocean. I wish I was fortunate enough to be enthroned with such perfection... wouldn't that be a blessing. My lifestyle? Oh, how unorthodox it is. Here's why: I have been gifted with a curse called empathy, and psychic abilities! Totally not something I've ask for. I am not fit to live in a narrow-minded environment. They've shunned me thousands of years ago, banned me from living in the future. My whole being, is frowned upon, and was frowned upon since birth. Where do I fit in? I fit in with the unwanted, the shunned, the lost, the hopeless, the wannabes, the "gonna-bes", the deserve-to-bes, the lonely: the forgotten. And for this reason, everyday, I sit and marinate in my own existence. I let the time go on, and pass me by. I refuse to try and stop time, just to live a lie. I hate hearing the sound of weeping when my soul cries... I wish I could start living true to myself, so there would be a meaning, to being alive.

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