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Usernamesubhana47
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A 19 year old introverted writer and dreamer.
I express myself through writing.
writing is just not my hobby, but my passion.
11th grader from Chittagong, Bangladesh.
When she beat my fear.
May 25, 2018 5 years ago\\"Mom? Mom please don't leave my hand. I am scared mom.\\"\nThese were the words that frequently came out of my mouth when I literally gave up on my life. That day I was hospitalized. And after that, everything changed. EVERYTHING. I was suffering from mental depression. My O'levels were knocking at the door. And I was going through sudden memory loss. At this point of life, all I needed was a little love and support. Therefore, I thought I should start going to school.\nAnd the next day I went, thinking that at this time, my \\"friends\\" would be my greatest support. But no. I was very wrong. Like very, very wrong. The \\"friends\\" from whom I was expecting support, didn't even bother to ask me how I was doing. Some ignored me, and some laughed at me when I said I was having memory problems.\nTears filled my eyes when one of them said on my face that I am simply putting up an act. That day, I left the school early and went home. Soon after, my health deteriorated. I started behaving abnormally. I would hallucinate things, and talk to myself in the dark. The people dearest to me looked like strangers. I was terrified of stepping out of my home because I felt all eyes were on me.\nI wept all night; without even knowing why. And then the worst thing happened. I had to visit the psychiatrist. Yes. A psychiatrist. The pills prescribed became a part of my regular diet. By then I had convinced myself that I have become mentally unstable. And...And I gave up.\nBut there was this one person still had faith in me. My mom. She pledged that she won't let me break. She kept talking to me all day and all night. She kept inspiring me and kept pouring positive vibes inside me. She kept asking me what happened and what I was going through.\nAnd I kept quiet. But she was never tired of asking me. She kept asking how I feel. And then one day, I couldn't hold it in anymore. Every agony, every fear, every tormenting emotions- that I was bottling up till now sputtered out of my mouth in the form of words. My mom kept quiet for a moment, as if she was trying to compose herself in a very subtle way. And then she showed me a plant.\n\\"Did you know that this plant used to be too vulnerable. Its stem used to break, insect used to eat up the leaves and it didn't bear flower at all. I thought this plant will die soon. Yet I asked the maids to water it and supply fertilizers. And one day, one day it surprised us all, and started bearing flowers. Do you know how it happened?\\" she asked, there was an amusing tilt in her voice.\n\\"No.\\" I stated.\n\\"Because it never gave up. In spite of all the obstacles, it rose.\\" she smiled.\nShe made me realized that I am not a loser. Neither I am mentally unstable. I have a very big goal in life to achieve. And these obstacles are nothing. And she kept me inspiring for days. After that I consoled myself and started going to school again. For few days my mom accompanied me to school. Then one day she told me to go alone. I was dreading her notion. I was so scared. But her supporting eyes, and believing smile, made me enter the gates of my school in solitary.\nToday, after one month, I am completely fine. Just a little weak, but other than that I am fine. I am doing well with my studies. And I no longer care about what people think about me, what opinion they have about me. Moreover, I don't have to visit the psychiatrist anymore, nor do I have to take the pills. Yes I am doing well. And I have my biggest support with me. My family. And my mom? I can't thank her enough for this. Yet I would like to say. THANK YOU MOM.
