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It's always been my dream to change the world. Growing up, I was always told, "If you can dream it, you can do it." My favorite genre of anything is inspiration. I love hearing stories that just make me stop and think, "Oh, wow. That's amazing." The thing is, that everyone has a story and we are not all the same. I love hearing everyone's different story or journey and finding beauty in everything, even in the crazy things. I believe that it's the little things that mean the most in life and in order to change the world, you contribute by one act of kindness at a time. Call me the "Love saves all" type or whatever you want, but I believe that's absolutely true. Love does prevail through anything and everything. I am a Mom to three and that journey is the most amazing of all. I am also a wife to a husband who I adore but drives me crazy at times :). My favorite thing to do is read and write, but I really enjoy being outdoors and going on crazy adventures to create the most amazing memories. It's my hope that through my writing, I can help anyone get through any struggles or fears they may be facing. I enjoy relating to others in their journeys.
Why is the first thing that someone says is, “What do you do?” In a profession alot of times this is a great conversation starter, but I have felt awkward when I have been asked this. Immediately my mind is trying to find the best answer. This bothers me. I feel like what I do for a living does not define who I am as a person or measure my success. The world that we live in has created an image to others that success is hugely career based. I strongly disagree with this. Success is not measured by what we do for a living and it looks different for everyone. My definition of success is loving myself, having a good heart, and loving others. It's my willingness to learn and positive attitude. It's the way I treat others and my family. It's surviving another day as a mom and loving every second-even the ugly ones. It's not about my career at all. Your success will look much different than mine but we should all be happy in knowing that we all have what it takes to be successful. It's funny because when I do make a new acquaintance, I want to hear about them and their story, not what they do. It takes that assesment of others and how we compare ourselves to them out of the picture completely and allows me to enjoy our conversation more. Be mindful of how you measure success, especially your own.
Everyday I try to get up and partake in some form of exercise to stay in shape and keep myself healthy. My favorite choice is a nice bike ride before the world is awake. When the sun is rising, I can feel the cool breeze run through my hair, hitting my face gently while listening to the song of the birds playing above. It is a peaceful time for me to rejuvenate and reflect on anything mind pressing. On this morning, my peace was disturbed when two dogs viciously ran after me out of nowhere, trying desperately to grab a leg or deter me from my destination. “What did you do?” My friend asked me while I told her this story later in the day, “Do you carry a stick or something with you to scare them away?” I laughed lightheartedly, and shook my head, “No. I just pedaled harder and faster, using that fear and intimidation as motivation to keep moving. Eventually they became tired and turned around and it helped me achieve a good workout!” We laughed and moved onto our next discussion. It wasn't until the next day that I realized that this same scenario applies to our everyday life. When we have a goal in mind that we are trying to reach, of course there will be negative people coming at us. Trying to knock us from our path, barking at our heels to cause intimidation. That could also be our own inner voice, unfortunately. Should we let that stop us? No, absolutely not. We keep our focus forward and use their discouragement as fuel to light our fire that burns from within to help us pedal harder and faster to reach our goal. Sometimes I need that reminder, and this time it came in the form of two dogs. Thank you for the chase!
"Where's Home?" Those words will forever be engraved in my heart. You are slipping away but I know you are tired. I can feel your exhaustion but strong will to hold on. You want rest, peace. You can't do what you used to be able to. It's okay, you can go. You can go Home now. Go and be free. Be free of pain and worry. Be free of despair and hurt. Be free of the chains that this world placed on your shoulders. Go Home where there is only happiness and no longing for more. Where love is all that thrives in the meadows and fields. Go Home where you can visit your Mom, Dad, and loved ones that you have missed so much. To where you fly high and when you look down you see the city lights glowing bright. Where you can sing again, you can put on a show. And when you go, don't worry for us down here. We will join you one day soon. You asked me in a weary voice, "Where's Home?" Those words will always stay deep in my heart and flutter through my mind when I think of you. This is my reply, "Home, Pop, is where you are always happy and love flows freely. Like the love that you always openly gave to me. Home is where your tired soul will finally rest, in the arms of our Father who knows you best. When you go Home, we know your heart will be full and we will feel your eyes shining bright and your warm smile touching our hearts when we look above. It's okay to go Home. We will always love you."
Every morning I have to remind my children to get out the door on time for school, making sure they have everything and are ready for the day. One goes to elementary, one to middle, and the other to high school. Every morning we wait impatiently for my oldest boy to get finished fixing his hair and get out of the bathroom and in the car. I give him the same speech over and over again to manage his time more efficiently. This morning was no different and getting into the Monday groove is hard, I know. I find myself being frustrated but forgiving and always sending them out the door with love and good vibes, trying not to ruin their day before it starts. While pulling out of his high school, I noticed a beautiful red Oldsmobile with a teenage girl behind the wheel struggling to turn into the school. Frustration and anger were evident as she turned over the engine only to have it die on her over and over again- she willed it to move. But it wouldn't, despite her reving the engine and shifting gears. To make matters worse, she was in the middle of both lanes-stuck, blocking traffic on both sides with honks coming from every direction. You could see her panic. Instinctively, I knew I had to help. For a second, the thought of “But I am one person, and not that strong, how can I push that big car by myself?” I didn't know and I didn't care, but I felt that I was there for a reason. So I jumped from my car, left it running and in place, ran to her window and asked, “can I push it?” She was scared and told me, “it's okay, I will get it.” I don't blame her for being cautious in this world. The car wouldn't budge, as she stayed inside trying to get it to turn over. I turned to go back to my car when the man behind me jumped from his. He asked, “ do y'all need some help?” To which I said, “she needs a push!” We both got behind the car and urged the girl to put it in neutral and she did. Still the car wouldn't budge. The man tried to get in and work the gears, but to no avail. Rain started to fall but we needed to get her out of harms way. The man lifted the hood and started working quickly, he asked me to hold a light and I did. I checked on the girl to make sure she was okay, she was staying in the car. She told me she was fine, just a little embarrassed. I understood and I assured her that everything was going to be okay. I couldn't imagine being a scared parent on the other end of her phone line. The man needed to go under the car to fix the switch where the gears could shift. At this moment two more good people came to help. The man asked if they could direct traffic while we were on the ground. They did as asked and traffic began to move closely around us. I held the light under the car as he crawled under it, it only took a few minutes for him to pull the gadget out that controlled the gears. At that point we saw the car beginning to move forward. Immediately we sprang into action, one man stopped traffic and the three of us who remained ran to push as the girl jumped to steer. We pushed her out of traffic and into the school safely. I made sure they were okay before grabbing my car and heading out. Life gives you lessons when you need them, just listen. 1. Time is precious and everything is on God's time. Because my boy is always running behind, I was put in that spot at that time. I should be more mindful that I'm not on my time, I'm on God's time. 2. What if that was my child and I couldn't get to them? I'd want to know that they were in good hands and there's still good people out there that would help them. 3. How dare I question if I can do things on my own, how dare I have such small faith. Thank you for the reminder that you are always with me God. He also strategically placed those other people in that spot as he did me, the man knew exactly what to do with that car to get it going. How incredible it was to see all of this. 4. A new appreciation for my children and their time. 5. God is greater than any of our problems and he may be answering someone else's prayers by placing you in their path. This was something I felt that I needed to share because I'm guilty of being frustrated with my kids/family at times but I needed the reminder that we are put places at times for a reason. God has us where he wants us and he will put you somewhere to pause your chaos to show you something beautiful and give you a strong reminder of hope.
I can't hide the pain that I feel behind my smile, but I will try I long to feel something again, anything, maybe in time My happy face masks the uselessness that I feel inside I push on, even though I have a strong desire to run and hide I will go on everyday despite the disappointment I feel inside I will win this war that's constant inside my mind I am going to survive the torment of my disease that's buried under my pride I am refusing to give up, though it's hard, I feel the urge to look up I am tired of feeling like I am not enough I refuse to give up, my faith is strong Please stop telling me that everything I do is wrong I am enough and I am loved The one I seek everyday gives me strength to rise above Instilling in me the will to fight when I am weak He whispers, “I am here child, I am the one you seek.” I am starting to feel something beautiful deep within It's His love pulling me through the storm again I know that through anything I face I am not alone For God loves me and is guiding me home Even on those deep and dark days, I see his light Always helping me to win my fight