I didn't realize I would have so much to say! Without further adue I will finish Part1!--I went to his funeral with the left side of my face under 2 inches of costume make-up to try to hide the fact that the left side of my face was severely bruised, my left eye was almsot swollen shut, my orbital socket was fractured the night before the funeral by my husband. I wore sunglasses inside and outside of the funeral, but anyone who looked at me long enough could definitely see that my face wasn't right! My parents had dicorced when I was 11, so my dad wasn't present, I only went bc I loved my aunt and she was buring another child before her time. My heart ached for her, but the 10 year old molested child that still lived in my head felt like justice was served, and karma had come full circle. After the funeral I went to my aunt's house, and my mother finally pulled me aside to ask ab my face. I cried as I told her, I won't lie I was so shaken up about the night before, I wanted some love and nurturing from my mom! I had never been hit like that before, closed fist, directly in my face, never...I hadn't dealt with any part of it tbh. Well my mother said how mad she was about it, but she had to tend to my aunt bc my aunt was understandably distraught! My brother who was 20 at the time saw my face and got angry. Angry enough that he called my dad to inform him about it. He was going to put my husband in his place....before the broken face I had had handfuls of split lips my brother had seen afterwards, or the bruises left on my arms from where I was grabbed. After the fractured face all 3 of my family memebers, mother, father, brother had either heard ab or seen the physical damage and scars my husband had left on my body. He did this damage for 8 years. Not 1 time did anyone ever stand up for me, try to protect me, make him hurt for hurting me! You could say that my self worth has been tremendously affected by these 2 events and how my family supported me through these events. These will be 2 major things I will finally find a way to deal with that doesn't involve masking the hurt and pain caused by these events by using again. I know I need a coping mechanism that will not only give me understanding and closure, but a way to do that and stay clean! These 2 reasons might not be the precise reasons why I began using drugs, but these event mixed with some other's and I can see why I want to forget my past and the terrible things that took place! The statement \"There is so much more than just stopping, and getting over it\" is defined in each addicts story. If you want to help an addict \"get over\" their addiction, be someone they can talk to and help them sort through their life and find their WHY! It might be the right key to unlock the door to their desire for recovery. I am 36 and it has taken me since I was 10 to sort through and realize my WHY, and since I was 22 to find the other WHY! It may take time to discover your own WHY, or your loved ones WHY. Some may not want to look that deep into their addiction yet, unfortunately some may never want to. I hope that this may help you understand addiction a little better, and see that is can be so much more complex that just quitting! Just remember showing an addict that you care, that you are willing to listen and help them sort through the madness that consumes them, you are validating to that addict that they are worth the time and effort. That their personal traumas and those feelings still matter bc WE matter! Sometimes just knowing that we are still loved and vaulued goes a long way! Stay Safe and Blessed Be!