Never lose hope!

Hospital. Every seat is full of people holding babies, crying children, and exhausted doctors after working a 10-hour shift. It is too noisy. However, nothing could distract me from thinking about my six-month-old daughter, who is sleeping in her father's hands vivaciously with subconscious smiles, even without knowing about her illness. I looked at her face spontaneously, and she smiled again in her deep sleep. It had been 15 days since my daughter experienced the flu. Of course, the flu may seem like a simple illness, but it is a great challenge for a baby who doesn't even know if she exists or not. Besides, I don't know why, but my second daughter was born weak and had super tendency to become ill. As I was thinking about my second daughter, I relived my firstborn daughter and leaned forward to my husband whispering, "Can you call mother and ask if our daughter is OKAY?" He said, "She is okay; do not worry. I've phoned them". I know that she doesn't make a noise because she is very sensible, although she is only 4 years old. The sudden calling of my name woke me up from these thoughts. It was our turn to see the doctor. The doctor saw the chest X-ray of my daughter. I was worried about a terrifying change in his face. He shouted that we should operate on her immediately; otherwise, she might die. I was completely shocked. There were beads of perspiration on my husband's face. "Unfortunately, the surgeon is from another country, and he should be financially supported to come sooner. Otherwise, you cannot go and operate in a day," the doctor said. I was somehow relieved. "You also need to have $5,000 for the operation," the doctor added. I looked at my husband desperately. He said that he would try his best to bring money. As soon as we went out of the room, he went looking for money. I was crying and gazing at my daughter's face. At the end of the day, my husband came to the hospital with $3,000 and asked the doctor if he could give the rest of the money after the operation. "Undoubtedly, you could do it if a surgeon lived here, but now I am afraid that it's impossible." It was like, "Wait for your daughter's death." Have you ever remained in such a hopeless condition that you could not do anything, even if you wanted it to change so much? The only thing I was thinking about was ways to bring the doctor. I felt completely hopeless and began crying saying, "Does money really matter? My daughter is dying." The doctor just remained silent and went out. After a few hours, my chubby-faced daughter stopped breathing. I cannot remember how I arrived home. All I was thinking about was my daughter. I didn't believe that I really lost my daughter. My four-year-old daughter was afraid of seeing her parents in this miserable condition and hardly came and hugged me as she hadn't seen me for 2 days. I just threw her. She was so intimidated that she began crying. Both my mother-in-law and daughter were unaware of my daughter's death, so my husband hardly explained it to them. Having stopped crying, my daughter brought a big bathroom towel to her father and wiped his tears, but she didn't approach me. My husband hugged her tightly. It was the third week since my daughter's death. Losing her made me really depressed. As usual, I had slept crying for hours near my daughter's bed. But it was a man's voice that woke me up in front of the graveyard gate. When I realized I was near a graveyard, I felt extremely petrified. I had sleepwalked and came to the graveyard at about 3 o'clock. It was terrible to see countless graves and a roughly-faced man in a misty and dark night after waking up suddenly because of the abrupt voice of a man. He was not so shocked; maybe it wasn't the first time for him to see a woman in the graveyard at midnight. Having known who I am, he asked for my husband's number and called him asking to take me home. The next day was terrible for me because I became ill after I had walked barefoot and bareheaded on a bitter winter night. Until that day, I was depressed and couldn't think carefully about anything. It was my daughter who always looked after me and revived me by making me think about life. I realized that I still have my child, who cannot grow up without my care and aid, and family members who always love and appreciate me. That winter, I lost my daughter but found the reason for resurrecting at the same time. I also witnessed that every event that happens in our lives, whether good or bad, has a lesson to teach. Mine too. I learned not to feel overstressed in any condition, to appreciate what I have, and to never lose hope for the future. I thanked God, and He gave me the chance to be a mother twice again. This condition also had a positive effect on my firstborn daughter. When she realized that she had lost her sister due to the lack of experts, she wanted to be a doctor, not out of exigency but with great longing. Now, I have all the things I've prayed for in my life!

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