Mackenzie St. Laurent April 23, 2018 Every thought is a battle, every breath is a war, and I don't think I'm winning anymore - unknown. This was how I felt approximately only 16 months ago. In December 2016 I tried to commit suicide. But I rose. I thought about my family in what I thought would be my last moments of life and it saved me. Depression is more than a feeling it is a cancer to your self esteem and your will to live. I was seven when I was exposed to the world of depression and anxiety - little did I know my life would fall apart. My sister was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in June 2013. But, she had already tried to commit suicide before. Just seven months earlier my father had been diagnosed with polymyositis which is an auto-immune disorder where your white blood cells attack your muscles. The doctors had to shut off his immune system so that his white blood cells would stop attacking his muscles. Needless to say, this really messed with my mind; I lost my childhood at the young age of 7. I started to have a little bit of anxiety in second grade, every time the class would get a call I thought it was my mom saying my father had died. When I entered fifth grade I did not care what anyone thought of me; my self esteem was easily 100. When I left fifth grade it was 0 I had no self esteem and naive little me thought it would get better in three months. I was could not have been more wrong. I came into sixth grade like a scared little puppy with it's tail between it's legs. I ended up quitting school a month into the school year to do online school. That did not work out but those 10 months out of school was one of the things that saved me. Now I am stronger than I have ever been and happier than I have ever been. Sometimes the girl who's always been there for everyone else, needs someone to be there for her. I still have depression I still have bad days but I know that my friends and family will always save me no matter what because, I AM LOVED!