Every other day there is news about yet another unruly passenger behaviour in the skies, more often than not resulting in an unscheduled landing by the pilot to deplane the misbehaving passenger. I watch with amusement and some trepidation, as social media and news agencies play up the news and try to get maximum leverage from the incident. As someone who has had some travelling experience in the good old days and more frequent flying these days, I see a distinct change in behaviour and attitudes towards staff and fellow passengers. I think back to another era, when air travel was considered privileged and classy and both passengers and flight staff were on their best behaviour. Passengers dressed in their best, were often seen off and met on arrival right up to the gates, at times, with bouquets. They were treated with courtesy both on ground and in the air. The airlines competed to serve delicious hot meals on board and treated their customers to freebies that included, lo and behold, cigarettes! The flight staff, mostly female, dressed and behaved like fashion models. They were trained to deal with passengers with loads of patience and accommodate requests to the best off their capacities. Children were patiently trained by their parents to be on their best behaviour and not to cause any disturbance in the plane or at the airport. Also the plane was more comfortable, more legroom to stretch out your tired legs and less people competing for the bathrooms. All that seems to have changed with plane travel now being accessible to almost everyone. Airlines are also in the competitive market, now that people are able to check prices on line for various flights. With that comes new challenges for airline personnel trying to deal with unruly kids and more often misbehaving adults. Lately there have been quite a few reports of airline staff and security wrestling with passengers, tying them up, handcuffing them and so on. I see with dismay, a growing disrespect for passengers from flight staff and vice versa. A lot of mitigating factors are contributing to this. Air travel is decidedly more uncomfortable, with crowded seats, less legroom, fewer washrooms as airlines compete for cheaper fares. Passenger behaviour is worsening and babies and children appear to be out of control and not monitored by their parents. Instead parents are indulgent and reward bad behaviour and expect fellow passengers to put up with their kids' tantrums. More is the woe on long haul flights, when restricted legroom and elbow room causes tempers to fly, again resulting in more work for the flight crew. It is time for airlines to look into this new trend and find measures to overhaul their seating, boarding and disembarking procedures to ease passenger discomfort and make air travel more pleasurable. For example, in some parts of the world, both doors of the plane are regularly used for passenger entry and exit. An area of the plane can be isolated for families with small children and passengers can be offered larger seats if they have an issue with size or disability. Also business passengers travelling individually can be offered seats for faster exit. And in the new age, maybe a seat or two to isolate and restrain unruly individuals!

My first teddy bear was a birthday gift I received as an adult from my daughter. Taken by surprise, I stared at the 6” bundle of blue in disbelief. At first, it did not seem to be an age appropriate gift. But I did manage to fall hopelessly in love with him. He was followed a year late by his pink sister and both have been my inseparable companions ever since. Since I never had a teddy bear as a child, I had no prior emotions associated with them, and no memory center in my brain was stimulated. It was entirely new emotion in my adulthood to share my feelings with my teddy bears. The two of them have brought immeasurable joy in my life. They are therapeutic, supporting me through the stress and strain of everyday life. I love making costumes for them. Sharing my emotions and experiences with the two of them is refreshing and surprisingly reassuring. I do believe my teddy bears have helped me to reach the child within me and more importantly helped to forge strong emotional bonds with my immediate family.

The other day as I watched my favourite morning show on TV, the hosts were discussing challenges faced by young mothers returns to work after their baby. This topic certainly got me thinking – motherhood and what happens to ambition after your baby. It took me back a few years to a time when I returned to work after my maternity leave and the challenges I faced trying to juggle motherhood and ambition. I did have a lucrative job, and looked forward to going back after a few months of leave but I was not that well prepared for the physical, mental and emotional upheavals that ensued. Looking back now, I wonder what I might have done differently if I had thought out and planned my return to work more diligently. I was ambitious and was focused on moving ahead to a better position at work. My work, though did not offer any flexibility concerning working hours or location. That being said, I did have other resources that I could have utilized better, had I given it some thought. My best advice to my younger self would be to work actively towards reducing anxiety and stress. An anxious mother does end up passing on some of her stress to her baby and that needs to addressed as a priority. I remember an instance when my super fussy toddler was refusing to eat and it caused me so much anxiety. My inexpert handling of the situation resulted in the toddler having a complete meltdown. A little maturity and ingenuity from the adult would have had a much pleasanter outcome. What I could have done was to make a list of resources and thought about how best to utilize them. Though unaware of the term, I was racked with ‘mom-guilt'. I always assumed total responsibility for all my baby's needs. Anyone who shared my work was a ‘helper' and I felt obligated taking their assistance and that added to my guilt debt. Since I did have an understanding and willing partner, the wise thing would have been to assign some responsibilities to him and let him deal with the consequences relating to those responsibilities. The next thing would be to outsource some of the additional work that I had. I could have had hired help come in to deal with cooking and cleaning. Also I would certainly advise my younger self to prepare for my returning to work weeks in advance. Prepare and maintain a list of available sources like cousins, parents and friends to babysit and also run errands for the house when I am at work. My thinking at that time was any ‘obligation' to friends and relatives would result in me being judged as incompetent or worse lazy. I now realize that was essential specially in the first few months after returning to work. Also, it is vital to prepare for uncertainties like poor health for both baby and mother. Keep a list of back up resources when the primary source fails. With good planning and optimal utilization of resources, my return to work could have been pleasanter and worked better both for my baby and me.