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Dear Ernest
I can't stop loving myself
Surigao City, Philippines
I am 17 years old student who can't play a guitar. I can't speak but I can write.
Compose
Dec 15, 2018 5 years agoI thought everything is easy. I thought I can do everything. It's sad to think that some people are too judgemental, everything you do is not enough for them. I did my best but they still say something, I started to not do it and still they say something. I'm confused. I'm tormented. I'm abused. I hope that people would begin to compose what they speak before saying it. I hope that I'll carry this, I hope I will not fall down in this battle. I'm strong enough for them to break!
Not my last letter
Aug 29, 2018 5 years agoI always hate each word that I jot down because I know you'll never ever see this, I hope you do but you'll never will. I sit under a mixture of the blue and pinkish sky while writing this. Don't be afraid because I'm still alive and active but if you resist thinking that I'm buried 6 feet below the ground then I won't take issue. I straddle on a strong branch of a sycamore tree that can support and carry my weight. I have my pen and a piece of paper with me. I write this not because my teacher asked me to write something but because you're on my mind. I don't know if you can see the stars glaring unto my dark sky, I don't know if you notice the fireworks every night touching the atmosphere. I don't know! You're my snow in a tropical weather, the one I wish to have but nature resists to bestow. You're the star in my morning sky, the one I try to discover but I lack the courage to find. I know you have an ear but my mouth can't say a word and I know you have an eye but my head focuses on the ground each time we walk on the same pavement. Maybe the stars aren't sewn for us, maybe the fireworks come from a birthday party of a debutant, I just don't even know. But I did not lose hope! The silence is consistently peaceful but there's always a howl that awakens everyone. Every night there's always a star to guide the way and a moon to lighten the artery. Especially, a tree that inspires me to write and a pen that inks my paper. I still don't know but one thing is for sure; I'll always follow your path. You haven't noticed me yet and I won't reproof you, I'll never! I know I am the one who escapes and acts blindly each time we met. You've always been mute so I guess you're fine. Anyways, I love your groove they're so cute and sexy at the same time. I always see you but you can't see me. I know it's unfair but I don't mind. I do like to save up some word for my next written output but I can't control my nerves from writing down letters. I'm a little bit frightened if someday I'll hear a news that you're reading this letters, its an emulsion of being alarmed and being fulfilled. I don't want to know that you're piqued because I was writing about you. I only want to hear the words "We're having the same heartbeat and I wanted you to know that!" but I guess I will never hear them, Right? I'm sitting on the same spot I was a while ago, an elephantine sycamore tree, it still stood tall and I haven't broken a branch or even small sprigs yet. Don't worry I will not break a bone, I hope you care, just for once! I'm not ending my life nor I haven't thought of jumping out of here and hurt myself, I hurt my self enough for believing that our stars will be building there own galaxy. I was blinded by the illumination of our stars. I'm starting to go down now, it's almost 6 in the evening and the atmosphere starts to create its own mist and darkness. I decided to dig my buried old jewelry box, this is where I put my letters and that is why I'm very confident that you'll never ever read even one of this letters. I left this paper a kiss mark to imply and signify that this is my personal property. This is the ninety-forth letter in my compilation. I think I have to say goodbye to the paper now. I covered it with the soil I dug. I'm speaking now. A voice startled me "Is the house next door still up for sale?" I couldn't answer but from the tone of the voice, I know it's you. I answered "Yes! Our neighbor has decided to sell their house." I believe this is the start of our own supernova. Sincerely!
