A fool's paradise

I want to live a happy life, for all my life I've been sleeping with tears dried in my face in a house full of dark past, broken souls, and unfulfilled dreams. I wish for a house I can call home with people I love the most and who love me the same way I do. A house that is built with love, peace, and understanding. I wish to be with people who will give me joy more than pain, like the feeling of hurriedly going out of work just to be home and excitedly tell what went through my day with emotions unhidden from the masks I used to wear. I want to build a family stronger than I am. A family who would remind me that home is not the physical structure of the house but the bond that connects each ones' soul making it reselient to calamities and wreckage. I want to marry a man, not a random guy, whose family loves me more than he does, welcomes me warmly with gifts or without, excited to see me, and look for me when I'm not around like I'm part of the family although not connected in blood. I want my children to experience a love from aunties, uncles, and grandparents which I wish I had. I wish to marry a man, not a boy, who may not have the skills in cooking but prepares for me especially when I'm tired, stressed out, not feeling well, and when I feel like the world is fooling around. I wish to marry a man who believes that the best way to the heart is through the stomach. I wish to marry a man, not a young man, who asks forgiveness when he's wrong or even when he's not with flowers in his hand, maybe a chocolate, letter, a hug, or just simple little things he thought would make me smile. I don't need a man who would say, ‘What else I could give I don't have the money to buy you flowers?' Although, I didn't require it to be real, or bought. It's the thoughts that always count. I wish to marry a man, not a guy who assumes he's a man, who has plans for the future, a plan that involves me. A plan that doesn't remain in his thoughts, but he silently and diligently work-out, with me of course, to make that plan a reality. But how hilarious it is to think that what could make me live a happy life is laid in the hands of a man. How fool I am.

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