Discovering Treasure

My name is Treasure - Treasure Joy. Though, it's been a journey discovering how exactly to treasure my inner joy. When I was twelve years old, I went to my first mental health clinic. My best friend called the police on me because she was afraid I would commit suicide, with all of the chaos going on in my family-life. I struggled with self-harming, which as I got older, transformed into coping through other addictive mannerisms. I was released on my thirteenth birthday with a new appreciation for the basic freedoms most people take for granted. I wish that was the beginning of the end of the calamity, but there was more beauty that needed to be discovered in all of my breakdown. Three days after my fifteenth birthday, I ended up blacking-out at a party my friend threw for me, and I was raped by someone I knew. I ended up going home that morning, told one of my other friends who was not there, and decided to get a rape-kit done the next day. My friend was out of town and couldn't drive me to the hospital until she got back, so if I wanted the rape-kit to collect the most evidence, I could not shower, brush my teeth, change my clothes, or brush my hair until I could get to the hospital. I think that was one of the most challenging adversities I've been through so far in life - to have the evil reminiscence of your perpetrator caressing your DNA, long after the moment had passed. After submitting the rape-kit, the authorities were contacted due to me being a minor. I reported my case, honestly, with a renewal of hope that maybe, just maybe, this was the turning point I had been waiting for, but I was wrong. After a month of correspondence with the detectives, all correspondence between the police and I just stopped. After leaving texts, voicemails, and having my counselors try to get into contact with them regarding my case, I was informed that the case number I had was not anywhere in their records or files - it simply did not exist. My mother's alcoholism at this time was at an all-time high, and I was struggling to make it through school. My mother was behind on rent, barely pulling herself out of foreclosure, with hardly any food for us to eat. My father lived four hours away in a rural town. After becoming an outcast in school and losing hope with the authorities, I decided to visit my father for the first time in about a year, and upon visiting for the weekend, I decided I did not want to go back. I transferred schools, and enrolled into a home-schooling program, thinking THIS was going to be the turning point in my life. About six months into the move, I began displaying all of the symptoms of Bipolar Disorder. My father and his wife tried to help me on their own, but without professional help, it was no use. I ended up moving out temporarily on my own, which ended in failure. I was completely embarrassed, and decided to go back to my mother's. I quickly developed an addiction to xanax and alcohol, and soon found myself in another mental health clinic, being transferred to a rehab facility for three months shortly after. I celebrated my seventeenth birthday behind a cage, and promised myself that would be the last box I would ever keep myself enclosed in. I spent the next year struggling with my addiction after leaving rehab, only to end up meeting a stranger (who later became my abusive ex-boyfriend) whom, surprisingly, changed my life in the best way possible. This was my true beginning. I was offered the chance to assist his Cannabidiol company (CBD is the medical, non-psychoactive part of cannabis) with their launch. I even began taking the oil they sold for my mental illness, and was able to replace all of my medications with a small dose of their oil. It was the first time I did not have cravings, the first time I felt hopeful in years, and the very first time I was introduced to the concept of being an entrepreneur. I spent a year with the company after being a victim of unfair compensation and harassment, but I learned everything anyone would need to know to create a startup. I took my newfound knowledge and applied it to creating my own companies. After thousands of hours researching and persisting, teaching myself everything from library books and the internet, and a whole lot of blessings in disguise - I am now humbly considered an expert in my industry, and working with a hedge-fund to turn my dreams into an actuality. I like to think of myself as a lotus flower, because it took a lot of mud and harsh weather to help me blossom into the beautiful creation I am today. Looking back in retrospect, I don't think I would have done anything differently in my life because I've gained so much wisdom from it all, that whether my companies succeed or end in failure - I think I've gained the greatest treasure of all - more than all of the riches in the world could buy. I discovered what it means to finally believe in myself, and that's truly a Joy I will Treasure - forever.

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Tiana Mar

Poet & Aspiring Author

Srebrenica, Bosnia & Herzegovina