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After the first COVID-19 case in Indonesia was confirmed in March 2020, most people were panic. Mask and hand sanitizer became rare. Some people seemed egoistic. They were panic buying; so that left others with nothing. It is so tragic knowing that health facility in my country still needs improvement. So many doctors and nurses were died because of the minimal protection. In contrast, some people were captured of wearing Medical Personal Protective Equipment for shopping. Moreover, there are still Covidiots outside there that snatch the dead bodies of corona suspects from the medical staffs. That is heartbreaking! Due to this pandemic, almost all aspects in our life must change. We all are forced to adapt as soon as possible; so that we can survive. We must massively transform our ways of socialization. It is still weird, until today, whenever I meet other people but I cannot shake their hand or hug them. It is not something new that we can communicate via video call or chatting due to the rise of internet and technology; however, it is still weird for me whenever I should attend online meeting although my colleagues and I are in the same town. Beside some modifications in the way of our communication, this COVID-19 pandemic also wake our awareness of healthy life up. So many people, including me, become more hygienic and healtier than before. I must wear mask and/or face shield whenever I go outside home, wash my hands more than ten times in a day, spray all stuffs I bring, take a shower every time I go home, wash my clothes although I wear it for once, limit the frequency of buying cooked food, and add the frequency of sunbathing and doing exercise. For the first time in the world, we are suggested to learn, work and pray from home, almost all of the tourism destinations in the world are closed, so many international flights are banned, more and more people are jobless, and we face serious issue about tackling hoaxes. I, personally, was stressed due to the great impact of pandemic. As a Muslim, it is heartbreaking for me to cancel iftar together with friends in Ramadhan and celebrate Idul Fitri without the whole member of my big family and friends. We have no choice, but long distance relationship and use the art-of-the-state technology to support our communication. Besides, I also cancel to join two youth competitions that mean so much for me due to this condition. Day by day, I try hard to find my inner peace and to let go of the thing I cannot catch due to the condition I cannot choose. I keep my self busy by joining so many webinars and online courses and reading some books; so that I can control my stress during self quarantine. Although COVID-19 pandemic is not something I ever wish, this brings the most important thing in my life, a will to re-evaluate my life. As no one knows when their lives end, most people are forget to find the most important things in their life. Most people keep busy all day long, but still feel worthless in the end of the day. "Let it flow" is like an unconscious motto for some. Lucky me that finally I can start my freelance work as executor of mayor election; so that I have a reason to go outside. I feel like a caveman after staying at home for more than a full month. Though I must work by using COVID-19 protocol, such as wearing mask and face shield, bringing hand sanitizer everywhere I go, and stay away at least one meter from others; I am happy of having conversations with random people due to my job. I never guess that in this difficult time, most people I meet can still show their kindness to me. For example, when I looked like confused to find out some addresses, some people initiated to ask what I was looking for and accompanied me to meet the people I mentioned. I also meet other actions of kindness that is initiated by some youths in my hometown who collect donation and give it to the needy. This is not only going on around my environment, but also in online platform. So many people raise donation to help medical staff and the one who need help in creative ways, ranging from holding online charity concert to designing for charity. Since I do not want to be left behind in doing something useful for my life and other's, in this difficult time, I start the dream I postponed for long period, starting culinary business. It is more than profit that I want to reach, but happiness for struggling dreams and sharing happiness by serving my cooking. Besides, I also actively sharing the knowledge I got from webinars and online courses freely in my social media and chat group. To sum up, for me, COVID-19 is humanity test for human. I do believe that there are so many things we can learn from this natural selection. I do believe that the population of good people still dominate the world. Just because I cannot touch your hand, does not mean we cannot keep in touch. Just because I cannot touch your hand, does not mean we cannot hand in hand. Solidarity will prevail.
“Habibie is doing something abnormal,” that was what the Indonesian media said, when a young man appeared as the crack man who comes from Indonesia. The headline news about Habibie in the early of 1990's remains me of myself. I remember, TV stations reported that a genius from Indonesia, who studied in Germany, just landed in his homeland. From the day he arrived on, he was asked to be the creator of a plane. Every time I put in an application of overseas scholarship, I always remember how Habibie fought against impossibility to reach his dream, e.g. designing a plane for Indonesia. His spirit never disappeared although Indonesians mocking him excessively. That story reflects my story in order to be successful young woman. Even until now, people around me ask, “Are you really pursuing Dr. Phil. degree in the UK?” It is annoying sometimes because they question it again and again. About five years ago, I registered as the participant of scholarship at Leicester to attend master degree. My comrades interrogated me, “Leicester? How can a student like you be a master student there?” Then, they laughed at me in front of the others. Honestly, I couldn't finish the application procedures because of IELTS score. I was cursing God back then. A year later, I took IELTS test in Jakarta which is more than 120 km away from my homeland. It was my first trip to Jakarta and searching for the direction to reach IDP Education. During the travel I was faced with different experiences, e.g. the bus drivers left me behind. Then, I should run up like a crazy girl. “Run!” the bus conductor yelled at me. I increased the speed that made me sweat a lot as if I was exercising because Jakarta was doubtlessly very hot in time. After asking anyone who knows Jakarta very well, I could find the IDP building and was on time. The failure of scholarship in Leicester is not the only one failure in my entire life as scholarship hunter. Totally, there are about 20 scholarships more in at least six different countries. As I failed so many time, people call me “The Dreamer”. It seemed that I gained more energy to get other scholarships. Finally, I was chosen as guest student at University of Freiburg to conduct a thesis research in Freiburg, Baden-Wuerttemberg. This means, that I studied master program both in Indonesia and Germany. After struggling a lot within 1.5 years, I got Master of Art degree on December 2016. Once more, I was underestimated again after graduation day. People were laughing at me (again) for having an idea to write a dictionary about Sundanese in Majalengka because I am the native speaker of it. “The history tells us, that no Indonesians can write a high-quality dictionary,” someone told me. When I begged for help, nobody nodded. Then, I was driving alone around the district of Majalengka to collect the data because most of them stayed away from me. This 3-year-investigation results in a Sundanese dictionary spoken commonly in Majalengka and will be published this year. Ironically, when I submitted the manuscript to an India-based international journal on December 2018, the Indonesian comrades said, “It won't be considered to be published.” However, God thinks of another way. That manuscript was officially published on January 2019. It leads me to get an award as Best Academician in Linguistics from RULA Awards India, Idamas Learning Centre Malaysia, World Research Council USA, and United Medical Council UK. As the only one Indonesian who got chosen (although a bad experience happened because they put Dr. in front of my name which is totally wrong because I am still struggling to get Dr. Phil. degree), it is absolutely an honor to stand there at the stage and deliver the speech in front of more than 100 invited guests. It is undoubtedly good beginning as the new linguist and lecturer of Linguistics. Moreover, it proves that my hijab is not the big obstacle to get the highest achievement abroad because as the foreigner, I always feel that I am acceptable everywhere. No matter which country I visit, I am warmly welcomed most of the times. Almost at every single attempt people are mocking the effort I make to get overseas job. More than 30 universities in Germany responded my job application negatively. I waited for years to print invitation letter out to work in Germany. I am believing in something, “Where ever you are, God is always with you. By your side to protect you.” Recently, I am working in Germany and pursuing Dr. Phil. degree in England. So, I'd like to say to the dreamers, “Keep fighting! Don't ever be afraid for being a minority because the world is really friendly as long as you behave well! Your life belongs to you, not to others. And the world is so small that you can travel around every time.” Maybe Krakatoa is so big, whereas I am bigger. It is because I can move to everywhere at every time with everyone, compared to Krakatoa which still remains solidly in its place for the whole time.