It was September 15th midnight when I started having a severe toothache. I couldn't sleep a wink that night and waited for morning to get an appointment with my dentist. I took an appointment for the next day. After all the formalities of COVID-19 tests the receptionist let me inside the clinic. “Looks like you need a root canal.” My dentist said with real concern and asked me to come the next day for the procedure. I was left with no choice other than going for the procedure because my tooth ache was unbearable. Unfortunately, in all this back and forth to the dentist's office somewhere I contracted COVID-19. Even though I didn't have any underlying health issues, my health condition became very critical because of COVID-19. I was admitted to the hospital. My breathing was very difficult and I was put on a ventilator. At home I had my husband and two young children who were too small to take care of themselves. But I was in such a critical condition that my kids well being was of little concern to me. All I could think about was to get a sniff of air in my lungs. My chest was burning and the roof of my mouth was on fire from struggling to inhale air. After the doctors intubated me, breathing became a little easier but I still had too much pain in my chest and stomach. My legs were sore and I had severe pain in my neck and shoulder. I was bedridden with a feeding and breathing tube inserted down my throat all the time. My husband was not allowed to visit and so were my children. Right next to my bed were two other beds occupied with mother and daughter suffering from COVID-19. My own pain was unbearable, but when I saw the trauma and pain that the mother and daughter were going through, I couldn't complain. Mother was around eighty-five years old and her daughter was twenty-five. No other family member was allowed but I was a bit happy that the old mother had someone by her bedside. Just the thought that your loved one is by your side when you are going through a miserable health problem is a big relief in itself. I, on the other hand, was lying on my bed and struggling for my life and the air felt so desperate to have a family member by my side. This trauma had made me believe in the strong will power of our survival and existence and above all the faith in health care workers. The nurse in our ward was a god-sent angel. It's because of her that I came back home to my husband and children after recovery. When I had lost all hope and was struggling for life and air, nurse Jenna held my hand, giving me strength to awaken my inner desire for survival. My sugar level went so low to a point that my whole body was convulsing, I was trying to take a mouthful gulp of air but it wouldn't make it to my lungs. I wanted to get all the tubes out from my body and scream for help, but sometimes desperation just vanishes in the cry of others' misery. Within a week the elderly mom couldn't take it anymore. She passed away leaving her daughter alone. I could see the pain of loss in her daughter's eyes. The numbness in the eyes of the daughter was palpable. At that moment she won't let go off her dead mother's hand. I felt so sorry; at the same time life looked so meaningless to me. Why do we have children; why do we raise them; why do we love our parents with all our hearts? I couldn't get answers to any of these questions. I was lost in the pain, agony, and misery of that daughter. Only one thing I was sure of was that I will have to live. At that time, the only thought that crossed my mind was the faces of my both daughters. What if I will die? My daughters can't take this shock; they are too small to understand any of this. For A few hours, when I was struggling for a whiff of air, I just wanted to die. I did not want to end my life struggling for air, with my lungs burning and my heart sinking. Momentarily I had already lost my life, but the sight of that grieving daughter brought me to my senses. I had the greatest desire to fight off COVID and survive. If not for myself then for my daughters. Nothing is more important to a child than her mother by her side in good and bad, low and high. For the next couple of days, I tried to fight all my negativity with every ounce of energy I had left in my body. I made a promise to myself to return to my daughters who are constantly waiting and praying for me. The nurses and health care workers were constantly working and wearing themselves out— the selfless act of humanity was right there in front of my eyes. All the sick patients who had not one family member by their bedside were loved equally by these angels in the form of nurses and doctors. I recovered enough and tested negative to go back home to unite with my family. My spirit is high and I am full of gratitude towards every single person who is serving in the health care sector. We can't thank them enough.
Many a time we fail to accept responsibility for our own lives. We forget that we drive ourselves to our own promised land. The most notable winners at some point encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They succeeded simply because they refused to be victims of circumstances. Certainly, nobody glows more than he who let the hurt go. Growing up just like any other normal kid I used to run around whenever I saw aeroplanes in the sky. At school I would say when I grow up I want to be a pilot. Can you imagine the excitement of the Wright brothers on the morning of that first flight? For the only boy in a family of four that would surely make a mother proud. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning and only execution brings a glimmer of success. Things took a sudden twist in 2009 on the 21st of August when mother was involved in a fatal car accident along Seke road. Her spinal cord was left damaged and there was no hope that she could ever walk again. She was admitted at the Avenues hospital, where her recovery path seemed smooth. Within a few weeks, she was transferred to St Giles where she was to learn how to use a wheelchair. On one particular day, a doctor on night shift mistakenly handled her whilst she was in her sleep and she fell off the bed. Efforts to keep her alive were made but she died on her way to Parirenyatwa. When I received the news I realised that making mom happy was out of reach. The pain I felt made me want to save lives. I wanted to be a different doctor. Peace of mind became a fallen concept for me. I knew that for me to achieve this new found dream I had to work extra hard even if it meant that I had to starve whilst on books. It is during our hardest times that we discover our true taste and desire for success. I refused to conform to the dogmas of the society I lived in. Many a time young children who lose their mothers end up vagabonds. I constantly asked myself certain questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? For some time I hated the so called street lingo ‘swagg'. Simply because I had an educational standard I was termed a nerd. I chose not to limit myself because of other limited imagination. I chose to leave a trail where there was no path than to further bare the usual pathway. I conquered my worst fears, failure. I joined medical school in august 2018. Driven by my personal statement: ‘TO BE THE LEAD PROVIDER OF INCLUSIVE QUALITY HEALTH. TO PROVIDE EQUITABLE, QUALITY, INCLUSIVE, RELEVANT AND COMPETENCE DRIVEN HEALTH SERVICES IN OUR BELOVED ZIMBABWE. I do not wish to be the wealthiest but certainly the most educated doctor of my generation with the aim of specializing later on as a neurosurgeon. Too many people wish to cross the fence and be where the grass is clean. I believe I am where I should be, all I need is to just water the grass I am standing on to make it green. The gods are different, the times are different but the underlying precepts of caring for the sick wherever or whoever they may remain the same. Having gone through some of the oath's for doctors I solemnly promised that I would to my best ability to serve humanity caring for the sick, promoting good health and alleviating pain and suffering. I now turn to my calling, promising to preserve its finest traditions, with the reward of long experience in the joy of healing. This promise is made freely and without coercion. Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be. The best way to predict your own future is to create it and live to it. It is under the greatest adversity that there exists the greatest potential for doing well.
My body says, "No," to have the voice, to say something now when I couldn't say anything before. https://link.medium.com/664bhPALf3
This happened on 2007 when started with the gagues in my ears and i wasnt being goth or rebellious, it was because of my uyger/ tibetan/sherpa dna on my bm's side of my dna. I was just keeping my cultures alive and saying fuck you to the chinese army for being in tibet. Yet my doctor Dr. O at the time said i was stupid and that they needed to be removed. I found this racist and excuse the term -retarded. (Fuck i hate that word) i did not take the fuckers out of my ears instead i keeped gaguing up. But because this i lost respect for doctors and white people who are docs. Boyh doctor and mother finally gave up and i kept me ears the way my ancestor wanted and added some priecings soon that fucking quack had to go into retirement because of this. Now i have my current quack.
Annoyed because I have to see this fucked up quack at a fucked up hospital because my fucked up liver and weight loss. I would not mind if the fucking appointment was not at such an obnoxious time of the day ei the morning. Excuse the biohazardous language but I am annoyed and all of this temps from hepatitis and miteoconrial DNA so I would love to give my BM (birth mother) a shift kick in the ass. Sorry for the yeti tude.
Getting Through Chronic Lyme Disease Having a chronic disease is terrifying. It hurts, not just physically, but emotionally. I've learned that a disease can't define your life. If you let it define who you are, your life will be miserable, and that's all there is to it. But how can we separate a disease with our own identity when a Chronic Disease affects your life so much? I'd like to share my experience so far with Chronic Lyme Disease and we'll learn together. I was seventeen when my health started to get worse. The worry was palpable and constant. My parents and I went to several different doctors, specializing in different things. And every single doctor gave me a dozen scary possibilities, tested me and then told me there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. That I was overreacting. After the fifth doctor to tell me that, I even started to worry if my parents would continue to believe me. I felt like I was broken. I was in severe, debilitating pain and not a single doctor believed me. I had friends ask if I was pregnant and refusing to admit it. I had doctors say I probably had cancer, and a week later tell my mom to get me back to work. Saying I had wasted enough of my parent's money and time trying to get out of work. I'm not joking! I was accused of so many things. But finally, after almost a year of trying, we found out I had Chronic Lyme Disease. When my doctor told me I had Lyme, I actually smiled! I gave a relieved laugh and said, “Oh good, it's not cancer.” She gave me a sorrowful look that I didn't understand then, but do now. The next day my mom and I were calling extended family and friends to tell everyone what was “wrong with me.” And the responses made us realize two things. First off, we knew nothing about Lyme. Second, it was more serious than we thought it was. So, we started researching. And the results were scary. We found out it's chronic. That the symptoms are different for every patient, which means the treatment is different, and there is no easy way to find a treatment that works. That it can be spread to any children I have in the future. That the bacteria inside me can slowly infect and kill each system in my body. After weeks of study we concluded that it was just as scary as cancer. And that this disease could take my life. Now, if you know anything about Lyme you might be thinking we overreacted a bit, since normally Lyme can be cured easily. So, here's a little information. The disease had spread throughout my body so thoroughly that the doctor said it looks like I had contracted it about ten years ago. TEN years of this disease spreading through me. When you first get Lyme Disease, antibiotics will usually kill it. But we didn't know I had Lyme at the time. We didn't go to the doctor, because at first, I didn't show any symptom. They came slowly. Slow enough that I adjusted to each symptom as it came, barely noticing it. So, the bacteria from the Lyme grew, it spread, and then it colonized into one big mass inside me, and started basically, to eat me from the inside. The symptoms did not become severe until I got in a car accident at age seventeen, which jerked, and in a way, activated the Lyme. After learning about the disease, we had to learn how to live with it. And I'll admit, at first, I didn't know how that was going to be possible. All I could think about was everything I could no longer do, and everything that now took so much longer to do then it used to. I was complaining to a friend one day when she gave me some of the most impactful words I have ever heard. She said “The disease isn't who you are. You don't introduce yourself by saying ‘Hi, I'm Katherina, and I have Lyme Disease.' When people ask about you, you tell them your hobbies, your job, what you enjoy doing and who your family is. Eventually Lyme will come up in the conversation, but it's just one, small, aspect of the million things that make you, you.” And she is right. My life does not revolve around a disease. A disease affects every aspect of my life. The difference is small but completely changed my life. Instead of telling people ‘I can't do that', I say, ‘can we do something else instead?' I've found ways to do the things I enjoy even with disease. I've found tricks, diets, medicines, schedule changes, and so much more, that allow me to work full time and go to college full time. I'm still the same person. I'm determined, strong, kind, I still love music and the outdoors. Family is still the most important thing in my life. I still laugh. I still have a beautiful life. Even with, a chronic disease.