Take responsibility and learn from your failures!

Most of us doesn't like responsibility, while responsibility is one of the necessary things in life. If one does not take responsibility, how will he change his life? He will constantly brag about his miserable life, but not commit to change it. In today's world most of us fears responsibility. Why? Because it's usually associated with failure. And while failure is also a necessary step in learning, people are afraid of it. And since they dislike failure, they also dislike the associated responsibility as well. People who don't take any responsibility discard the chance of improvement. Since they think it's not their responsibility they don't have to address the problem. But who if not them? The universe won't, I can assure you. And the other people are just as busy as you are, so they won't neither. But the problems are there, and someone must improve upon them. Take your body as an example. Chances are you are not satisfied with your body. You can blame anyone: your genetics, your work, your partner but it won't change the fact. So, you can either A: continue to weep about it, do nothing and slowly but surely be in an even worse position, or B: stop whining about it, and do something. That's what it means to be responsible. You accepted that you are responsible for your body and you are the only one who can change it. This seems like a decent point to talk about the other topic of this essay. The necessity of failure. It is only by failure that we learn. Even if it's not ours, we still learn through it. There is a saying in my native language which sounds like this:” Smart people learn through other's failures. Normal people learn through their own mistakes. And the dumb ones won't learn even from their own”. Numerous authors who wrote great books about learning said this. And if you think about it, the fastest way of learning is doing a mistake, and never committing it again. Most of us are afraid that they will fail at something. But when you think about it, it's irrational: most of our heroes are people who had a major problem, get knocked out, but then still get up. That's what makes them heroes. Not their powers, not their names, but their ability to get up. I have to admit something: I am a huge nerd. I love all the marvel films. I would love to read the comics as well and probably the one hero who is closest to my heart is Steve Rogers. Also known as Captain America. In his first movie he got sent to the floor. And then he stood up. And got knocked out again. Stood up again and said: “I could do this all day”. That moment was one of my turning points: I realized that I must stand up again and again, no matter what happens. I got a little distracted from failures, but nonetheless, I really enjoyed writing that paragraph. I think the connection between the standing up and failing is that you mustn't give up. You need to stand up and go further. If I remember correctly there was an experiment once: there were two groups of students, who had to make pots. They had to make pots. Half of them were told that they will be judged by the quantity of their pots, and the other group was told that they would be judged by the quality of their pots. At the end of the experiment it turned out that Group A (The quantity based one) also made the better pots. Group B spent so much time thinking about what should they do, and how should they do it, that they didn't have time to address the mistakes that came up while they did the pots themselves. I just wanted to point out that sometimes it's better to just start doing the thing you want to do. Don't be afraid of failure if this is learning a new skill because it won't be perfect at first. It probably won't be for second. But the third might be the lucky number. And if not, well, I think you understood what you have to do. Of course, it's not always pleasant. If it's a really intimidating exercise, like building your own website from scratch, with zero coding knowledge, you will try to push it. Lucky you, I have a solution for that too. You just have to split it into parts you can manage. No one gets up at the morning and says: “Today I will invent a time machine!”. If you want to invent one, you have to break it down to manageable steps. This is the same with everything: addictions, habits, projects etc. This is what really helps you, but no one can help you with splitting your projects, or managing your time. You have to do it yourself, you have to take responsibility (we are back at it) for your cool projects and ideas and do your work. I think this is it for now, but it's not complete by far. You shouldn't take my word for everything, and you should implement changes to your life. It's all good that I tell you here that you should do this or that, but you are the only one who can change it, and if you are not satisfied with your current life, or just want to try a new approach to your problems, you should give these tips a try.

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