The friend.

I was lying in the grass half naked, cold, and confused. I looked up at the stars shining as I felt the tears burning my face as they went down my cheek. I heard his car door slam and the tires screeching as he left. One day, I was outside my aunts house scrolling through facebook and a friend request popped up. We'll call him John. I was confused because we had so many mutual friends so I accepted, not thinking too much about it. He texted me and we became friends. Later, we became good friends. He would call me to see how I was doing and talk to me. He was really sweet and very friendly He flirted with me a lot but I just brushed it off. John told me he was 16; I was 14 at the time. We had planned to meet up after a few weeks. I remembered when I first met him he was so nice and funny; his hugs were so soft and warm. One summer night he called me telling me he really needed to see me at 3am, to talk. It was warm, I could feel how humid it was, how it made my skin sticky. I walked outside, across the damp grass with no shoes. I felt the droplets in between my toes as I walked to his car. He got out of his car and he came up to me. I smelled the cologne he had on and the alcohol he tried to hide with minty gum. He kissed me. I didn't feel the same. I pushed him off. He forced me to kiss him. I tasted the gum and alcohol, but that's not the only thing I tasted. I tasted regret. “Get off of me!” I said. “You teased me up to this point so take it.” John said. He closed my mouth as I tried to call for help. I felt his warm hands but cold fingertips gripping my arm. I felt him crawl over my body as he forced himself inside me. I felt so betrayed. “Stop, stop, stop!” I said. “Take it!” John said. “It hurts. Please stop.” “Stop crying and shut up.” I was frozen after. No facial expression just emptiness. It only lasted 15 minutes but it felt like a lifetime. It was quiet, only the crickets and owls could be heard. I walked up my porch and was stuck. I stayed silent, I didn't want anyone to know. I found out it was many more victims. I didn't want to hear, “Are you okay?” Later on I spoke about it to a few people. I also spoke to John after. I forgave him. Why? I learned to forgive but never forget. He did the worst thing to a person before murder. I found out he was 19 not 16. Yes I was raped. He is now in jail but will be out soon. I do not let this identify me. I learned that no matter how good someone can be to you they can betray you. It impacted my life because it made me have trust issues with everyone. I try to work on myself. But now I know not to trust too fast and too hard.

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