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PERSILVUR_A

Words and ideas can change the world!

Colorado Springs, USA

The thought was racing through my head! Get it out get it to the paper before you say the wrong thing to the wrong person. I rushed to my room half expecting to scream but it was a long sigh of freedom. During CoVid 19 I've experienced isolation, fear and uncertainty. I am one of many people in this world who take prescription medication to ease anxiety and depression.  I take these so I can feel and function like normal. However, when you add a pandemic and an insurmountable size of fear it's hard to get out of bed in the morning, let alone take your medication partly for fear you will run out before being able to get to a pharmacy. Since this pandemic has started, it has changed my views to accessibility and what also may be the new normal one day. Throughout these months I have developed things that helped me to cope and slowly overcome the feelings I was facing daily. Number one was writing my feelings! Anytime I felt overwhelmed or anxiety thinking about the absolute worst I would write them out and eventually It became therapeutic! It was helpful during those dark days. I accompanied writing with exercise and a change of scenery every so often, even if it was a walk around my backyard.  Even though times are fickle and I feel so much doubt for my future, I know my story is not finished.

Sweet child o mine

Aug 17, 2020 3 years ago

I have never been comfortable with myself. Since I was 10 years old I have never thought of myself as pretty. I was heavier and everyone around me knew. I was made fun of countless times. I cried myself to sleep on a day in middle school I was told by a boy that he wouldn't square dance with me because I was fat and disgusting. I was 11. I thought this was normal. When I was in high school the weight issue seemed to be imprinted in my mind. I had a job as a lifeguard. I loved swimming and thought this was a good way to exercise. I was made fun of by my peers I worked with. That summer I lost 20 pounds. I refused to eat. I wouldn't be happy with myself until I lost weight. I started sophomore year as a size 2! A size 2... I still didn't feel good enough. Boys still didn't like me and I didn't like me. I'm now 26 and could have been in a awful headspace if it werent for my loving family, friends and peers. Women should not have to think about this constantly. Women have to look a certain way to get a guy? Or keep a guy!? It truly scares me how image obsessed we are. This is what makes girls (and guys) have eating disorders body dismorphia and the feeling of never being good enough .... I felt compelled to say this because I worked at the boys and girls club and mind you this person is 9 years old. This little girl told me she didn't want to go to a water park for her birthday because she would have to be seen in a bathing suit. She is 9!!! This little girl missing out on life because of her concerns of how she looks to other people?! What have we done.

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TO MUCH

Jun 25, 2020 3 years ago

Some say I feel to much. others say its not enough. when you are feeling down do you run away or turn to pills to ease the pain? People say I'm fine just suck it up and smile. but my smile is a glass mirror waiting to break. just hiding behind is all my pain.

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Covid Writes

Jun 04, 2020 3 years ago

The thought was racing through my head! Get it out get it to the paper before you say the wrong thing to the wrong person. I rushed to my room half expecting to scream but it was a long sigh of freedom. During CoVid 19 I've experienced isolation, fear and uncertainty. I am one of many people in this world who take prescription medication to ease anxiety and depression.  I take these so I can feel and function like normal daily. However, when you add a pandemic and an insurmountable size of fear it's hard to get out of bed in the morning let alone even take your medication partly in fear you will run out before you can get some more. Since this pandemic has started, it has changed my views to accessibility and what also may be the new normal one day. Throughout these months I have developed things that helped me to cope and slowly overcome the feelings I was facing daily. Number one was writing my feelings! Anytime I felt overwhelmed or anxiety thinking about the absolute worst I would write them out and eventually It became therapeutic! It was helpful during those dark days. I accompanied writing with exercise and a change of scenery every so often, even if it was a walk around my backyard.  Even though times are fickle and I feel so much doubt for my future, I know my story is not finished.

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