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Under all of the dirt and all of the pressure, what once was dead is now a beautiful shiny object simply needing to be discovered. Once found, the object will be dirty, it may not be perfect. It will need some cutting and some cleaning, no matter what, this shiny object has the potential to be something great.
Supposedly this thing called love is great and amazing. I only wish someone had told me the truth. Now, I am not anti-love, I am very much so in love with the man of my dreams, but I will get to that later. Right now I want to tell you about how I met the men who helped change my life. We can start with the first one. His name is Dylan. The first time I saw Dylan my heart skipped a beat, literally. He was scrawny and tall, about 5' 11. He was very light skinned with brilliant blue eyes. I was 14 and it was love at first sight. After my brother died I had become extremely depressed, I was disgusting. I rarely showered or brushed my hair. I didn't care about anything and all I wanted was to die. When I met him I started to realize just how gross I was. I started taking showers more than once a week and brushed my teeth everyday. I found cute ways to do my hair and I dressed up a bit in everyday life. I talked and grew close to Dylan, we became friends. Then one day, in the parking lot of our Church, he asked me if I loved him. I fumbled over my words but eventually I don't know. Even though I did. Later that night I messaged him and told him. He and I talked for two years. Then he joined the Army and left. He told me he was leaving one week before his deployment. I waited his return under the promise of dating, but I never saw him again. He avoided me and I moved on. He asked me to go out with him about a year later, we talked for a bit but I decided that he was not serious about me and I could do better than someone who leaves. He gave me a hope for life that pulled me out of my darkness. We can now move on to the second man. This man I will call Brad, I promised to never reveal his identity. Brad was a professor at my college, he was a flirt not much more than a flirt. He seemed like a very nice guy and I found him to be very attractive. He was my professor however, so I decided that it would be immoral to date him. He was ten years older than me. I enjoyed being goofy in his class, making both him and others laugh. The last day of the semester I added him on a social media app. I waved, he waved back. I could not think of anything to go from there, so I spent all day trying to think of something. He messaged me later that night and asked if I was just waving. I told him how I had been trying to think of something to say all day and was bad at communication. We talked for awhile and then he asked me to add him on another social media app where you send pictures and then they go away. He flirted, I went with it. I turned him on with just my words. I won't go into much more detail about that, but things happened, a lot. I ended a up falling for him. Then one day he told me he had a girlfriend, “but we can still mess around.” He said. I was hurt deep, but I loved him and I was terrified of being alone. So I waited a week before giving him my answer. I needed space away from him so I could think, and I knew that I was better than a mistress, or some side chick. I left. He taught me that I need to respect myself and that being alone is okay. I learned so much about who I am by not being who he wanted me to be. We now come to the third man. After being hurt by other men that I loved I found it difficult to trust. Luckily, Tyler was patient. When I got depressed he would come over to my m]house and hold me. When I doubted that he would stay forever he would get really upset, pull me close and tell me he will prove it by staying forever. Tyler was my first for just about everything, and I was his. For our first date he came over to my house, met my parents and we had a bonfire. Our second date was the next day. Our third date was the day after that. We had six dates in our first week of being together. We couldn't stay apart. He never made me do anything I didn't want to. He knocked on my door every time he came over. He opened doors for me and he shook my dad's hand. On our third date he promised to marry me. I loved him more intensely than I thought could ever be. He was kind, considerate, and in love with me, as I was him. We talked about kids and what our future holds. He bought me whatever I wanted, and often more than I wanted. He spent money on me left and right. His budget for our engagement ring was more than my car cost. I told him that I would be okay with a 25 cent ring, but he said he only wanted the best for his baby. I never stopped loving him, and him me. We are set to be married on September 13th, 2020. He taught me how a man should act. He taught me kindness and love. He is the love of my life and the closest thing to perfect I could ever find. I tell him all the time how lucky I am to have him, but he just says nah, I'm the lucky one. He encourages me and has given me more self confidence than I have ever had in my entire life. He is my partner in everything and the love of my life. I am his Cake and he is my Seally. Forever.