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dianecakee

make things worth keeping

General Luna, Siargao Island, Philippines

you know my beautiful name, not my story.

Survival

Aug 30, 2018 5 years ago

She was in her early age, she was still 15 years old at that moment yet she experienced the worst time in her life. It all started when her eldest sister got pregnant by her longtime secret boyfriend. She knew her sister's secret boyfriend and she don't give a damn about it. She even envied her sister for being happy and comfortable around his secret boyfriend that is why she was tempted of having a boyfriend. She was still young, naïve and innocent when a boy approached her and confessed his feelings to her. She had never experienced having a real boyfriend. She was too innocent to know the consequences of her wrong doing. It was never easy to her because her parents forbid her and her siblings to have a boyfriend until they won't get a diploma but because she was still young, she wanted to experienced things that can make her feel free and happy. When the boy asked her to be his girlfriend she immediately said yes without thinking what the consequences is. She knew that her parents will be disappointed of her but she badly wants to experience having a boyfriend that is why she kept it a secret for almost 5 months. A few days passed, she just got home from the school when she saw her mother and her eldest sister crying she didn't know what happened and to answer her question her mother told her that her sister is pregnant, of course she was shock because she just knew that her sister had a boyfriend but not her being pregnant. It was the biggest downfall of her family. It traumatized her parents that is why they kept on saying that she and her other siblings is not allowed to enter a relationship. She was worried about her situation because she have a secret boyfriend but she was confident that she will never be caught. Her parents have a huge of expectations of her eldest sister but her being pregnant really disappoints her parents. One month later she didn't expect that she will be caught that early, her mother was furious, mad and disappointed. Her mother wanted her to break up with the boy but she didn't, she became a rebel and she stayed in their relationship but days passed the boy wants something from her that she can't give and that is her innocents then the boy break up with her. She felt betrayed and broken because she thinks that she did her best in their relationship, she even disobeyed her parents just to be with him. And now she regrets what she had done but at the same time she thanked herself for not giving what he wants because she knew that he is not worth all of her efforts, he is not worthy of the reason why her parents lost their trust on her. But her problem didn't stop there, it was just the beginning. Weeks passed Christmas came, she was having a hard time building herself again. The cold treatment that her mother gave her was tolerable. The hatred that was built in her heart was unstoppable. She felt so alone and useless. Then her grandfather died, she can still remember the date, December 28. It was the second time that someone they love left them. It was the second time that someone who is part of her family left her. The pain was bearable but the loneliness is slowly covering her jolly heart. She wanted to go far away from her family who didn't trust her, she wanted to cry her heart out until there's no tears left to cry. But she didn't want to waste her life just being lonely and stared at the white ceiling while tears are falling from her cheeks. Then another obstacle stopped her from moving forward. She was almost reaching herself again, she wanted to be whole again, she wanted to be happy again. She wanted to be herself again. But her parents stopped her from building herself again. She was stopped by another problem. Her parents wanted to separate just because of misunderstanding. She heard it from her own ears that her father wanted to end his relationship with her mother and that made her heart broke into pieces, she felt pain everywhere, in every part of her body. In every day that had passed her parents kept ignoring each other even though they stay in the same house and she hate seeing them like that it hurts her bigtime. It has the big effects on her because she don't want to have a separate family, she doesn't want to have a house that doesn't have walls, she doesn't want to have a house that doesn't have lights. She wanted a house that is fully furnished, a beautiful lovely home that have a complete family. Then her birthday came, she wasn't that excited like every person felt when it's their birthday. But that was the best birthday that I ever had and have a very blessed gift. She saw her parents talking outside their house and hugged each other after so tight and her father kissed the temple of her mother. She smiled at that scene and that is where she knew that she'll be happy completely again. She knew that she survived at every obstacle that she faced and will be surviving of the obstacle that she may face.

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