Today started off really well. I went on a date with a nice guy and we had a really good time. He acts like he wants to go on a third date and when I go home I break down. Why? I realized I forgot to take one of my anxiety pills and my anxiety rocketed. This made me want to crawl up into a ball in my bed and did for a little but I forced myself to get out and do some writing. Writing usually gives me some kind of perspective but I'm having a hard time today. I feel like I'm broken and that no one could possibly be want to be with someone like that. I know I have to keep fighting and that is the most important thing to do but I'm so tired of having to do that every day. And when I think that I will have to make this effort for the rest of my life it makes me feel really overwhelmed. I wish God didn't choose this life for me but I'm sure there was a reason for it. I just haven't figured it out yet.