Having a learning disability has been like the butterfly going through Metamorphosis. Every butterfly goes through the same life cycle: egg, caterpillar, chrysalis, and then transforms into a butterfly. Just as the butterfly transforms through this process, I, too, needed to grow, change, and become the person that I am today. The first phase is the egg phase. The egg looks like a speck of dirt. I was diagnosed with a learning disability early on in my school years. My Kindergarten teacher saw that I was struggling to count, tie my shoes, and do math. The second phase of a butterfly's life cycle is the caterpillar stage. During this phase, the caterpillar grows rapidly and sheds its skin. My school years were a struggle for me academically and socially. To help me learn, I received specialized instruction and accommodations. Accommodations such as having the test read aloud and extra test time gave my brain extra time to process and better comprehend information. Even with the academic support, I still struggled to learn and was frustrated. All I wanted to do was learn like my peers and make my parents proud of me. I was able to understand and was put into all regular education classes, except for math and the resource room in high school. I also found subjects I was good at, such as reading and writing. Socially, my school years were a struggle for me as well. I had difficulty making friends and was bullied for having a disability. In regular education classes, my peers saw that I struggled and that I went to learning support. In learning support, most of my peers struggled with reading, not math, and I was bullied there, too. The next stage in the life cycle in the life cycle of a butterfly is the chrysalis stage. During this phase, it spins a protective chrysalis where it changes and grows. During my college years, it was when I began to develop my chrysalis. I was told that I would not be able to go to college, get my bachelor's degree, or have the job I wanted. I retreated into my chrysalis and put forth the hard work. It was not always easy, and I wanted to give up. But I did not give up and kept growing. The next phase in the life cycle is when the butterfly reaches maturity. The butterfly pushes out of its chrysalis and becomes a fully grown butterfly ready to fly. I emerged out of my chrysalis and was able to graduate with a bachelor's degree. The last phase in the life cycle of a butterfly is laying eggs, for future butterflies to be able to grow. The butterfly will lay her eggs on flowers, and the cycle continues. I get the chance to inspire the students that I work with as a para-educator in a school. I find it rewarding to work with students who have disabilities and encourage them to go after their dreams. Each phase of my life cycle has shaped me into the person that I am today. The egg phase laid the beginnings of my journey. The caterpillar phase helped me to learn and grow. The chrysalis provided the protection. The butterfly stage is when I get to see accomplishments push forward. I now work to help others by encouraging struggling students and sharing my story.

Dear Mom, I made it. I don't know how I did it without you, but I did. You said I would love it here in Kentucky, and I do now, but man it was difficult in the beginning. What made it even worse is that I knew you were the only one who would understand what I was going through, and I couldn't call you. I couldn't cry to you about the culture shock – about how much slower life moves down here, how no one is afraid of conversation, how everything will get done ‘when it gets done', about the one-lane hilly holler roads that gave me panic attacks every time I drove them, about the thick accents and phrases I didn't understand. I knew if I could just talk to you, you'd explain everything and make me feel so much better. But I couldn't…I had to get through it on my own. And for a while, I was mad at God for taking you when He did – when I needed you more than I've ever needed you. But then spring came, and oh my gosh – I can't tell you how many times I wanted to send you a picture of a new wildflower I'd never seen before, or a bird – you would have loved the birds down here. And the sunsets. And the gentle rains. And the way the fog settles in between the mountains in the evenings and rises as mist in the early mornings. How was it possible that such a beautiful place existed, and so many people had never experienced it? I spent so many summer evenings on my porch, just admiring nature, and wondering how a place that was so breathtakingly gorgeous could be so poverty-stricken and desperate. I knew that if anyone would understand how I felt, it was you…and I wished I could call you. There have been so many times I've thought about all the times I didn't call you…the weeks and sometimes even months we went without talking because of different issues we were struggling with…and I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the irony of it – because I probably would have called you almost every day, if not multiple times a day, this past year. There were so many struggles, so many weird moments, so many new experiences that warranted a phone call – like how the Walmart here is Black Friday every Friday, and there's such a thing as “Holler Dollar” and “holler dogs,” and the people here eat this cheese on their sandwiches that I think would taste better as a dip, and there's a native fruit call a Paw Paw that tastes like a cross between a kiwi and a banana, and kangaroo jerky is a real thing, and one shot of moonshine goes straight to your head, and almost everyone owns a side-by-side, and there are giant crickets here and five different kinds of hornets and more slugs than I've ever seen in my life, and one inch of snow is enough to shut down the town, and people will get mad if you insult their Double Kwik pizza rolls, and bluegrass music is wonderful, and did you know I turned 40? How weird is that? I'll never forget sitting on your bed, crying, thinking you'd be upset when I told you we were moving to Kentucky. You were sick, and I was terrified to leave you. But you smiled and hugged me and told me it was okay – you told me I was going to love it. And again, when I stopped at the hospital on our way out of town, you held me tight and told me not to cry, and told me again I was going to love it. Well mom, I want you to know – I do. It has by far and away been the craziest, most difficult year of my life, and it probably would have been a little easier if I'd been able to call you, but I made it. I'm grateful for who I've become. It's ironic - I feel closer to you, and more like you than I ever did before. I know your spirit was here cheering me on. Thank you for supporting my move here. I'm excited to see what this next year brings. I love you and miss you. Happy New Year, mom.

“Will we make it? Why does everyone look so worried?” My little sister had no idea what impact her words made, but they touched each of our family deeply. They poked at my consciousness like a pebble causing ripples on a still pond's surface. My backpack weighed heavily on my shoulders, yet I barely registered it as my mind wandered. The sounds of the airport became muted as I reentered the past. The past year had been a trial. My parents had decided to adopt and into my life came three teenage sisters. This particular choice led to a much larger trial than any of us had envisioned. Though being missionaries in Zimbabwe was already challenging, now strife laced our home's atmosphere. I would walk into the room, gauging the occupants' emotions based on their faces. A frown—I'll come back later. Silence—the new norm. Joy—what's that? I didn't know what caused the anger and grudges, but they existed anyway. Brick by brick, stone by stone, I felt walls being built around each family member. I did not blame anyone; the situation was simply there. Loneliness often threatened. Some of my closest friends had left, and living over an hour from the closest town left little opportunities. It is strange how cold wind often feels so much colder when one faces it alone. We lived in a hot town in the middle of nowhere, but to me it often resembled a frozen wasteland. “Sign here please.” The voice startled me out of my stupor. I stirred and stared at the customs agent. Her stone-like visage had barely shifted since we were halted in front of her desk an hour ago. Covid. Oh, covid. It was the root of everyone's problems recently. Right now, we had been given an incorrect covid test for my brother. It showed that he had tested positive, though that was a much earlier test. I could see the sweat on my dad's forehead. I loved Zimbabwe, but they were not known for their punctuality. If we had the wrong test, it was next to impossible to receive the right one within the hour. That would be too good to be true. And yet here we were, being ushered to our gate! Wow. Miracles still happen. It's not like we could afford to pay for another ticket. We started running, doing our best to catch our plane, but my mind wandered again. From physical injuries to a river of severe emotional strain, the pillar of my heart was slowly eroded. I lived on, unconsciously adjusting the the new norm of my life. Sadness and disappointment seemed all to eager to be my companions. When we were scheduled to go on furlough in 2019, Covid cancelled it. Already numb, I had taken it in. Why expect that something would go right for once? Time after time, it seemed as if the long-promised dawn of hope would be yet again delayed. Only an instinct deep inside of my refused the company of despair. I knew of little alternative; life had done its best to kill all the other options. Yet I knew that the dawn had to arrive; I knew it like I knew it takes oxygen to breathe. I just hope the dawn arrives soon. I cannot remain standing much longer. The plane was still boarding. We all got on and settled ourselves into our seats. It was not a minute too late. We had barely buckled before the pilot spoke from the cockpit and the plane took off. We reached cruising altitude, and I looked out of the window. The sun was rising, spreading its smiling rays of red and orange over the canvas of clouds and sky. The view was stunning, but to me it spoke of much more than simple beauty. “Never surrender,” it seemed to say to me. “Never give up. Hope always has a chance. Though the night be blacker than you have ever seen, though it seem as if the sun will never rise, hope will break through! True beauty and victory are found like gold once it has passed through the fire, removing the impurities. Hope will always prevail.” I looked at the clouds and smiled. My perseverant belief and paid off. Hope will always prevail.

He sat upon the ledge of the cliffs with legs dangling over the ethereal fall leading into the shimmering waters below; the ocean sparkled like a million diamonds in the setting sun. Up high, the sky was a brilliant hue of blue with the growing twilight encompassing it in a rosy-orange haze. Every cloud and bird rushed towards the sun, it seemed, finally seeing it as weak as it dethroned itself from its heavenly throne to behind the waters. A whale's distant cry-sounding like an explosion followed by multiple frustrated groans- perfectly encapsulated Khan's feelings. A tear rolled down his cheek and fell into the water below. Its tiny splash reminded Khan of the eternal fall. Perhaps that was the only thread which connected Khan to reality and prevented him to follow suit. Perhaps that teardrop was the only reason Khan was still real in the first place. In a way, he would have loved to drop a tear more. Surely, he thought to himself, that if he was given the privacy, he would have birthed a new river from this very cliff. After what felt like an eon of deep and troubled thought, he stood up as the sand scrunched between his feet. A deep sigh followed, emptying Khan of all emotion in that one moment of exasperation. He slightly tilted his head and gazed at the water below. He did not know what pulled him back; for a moment, he was just about to slip. Just a step. A moment. But no. It seemed as if his ancestors themselves had grabbed his shoulders from behind. ‘Not here', they seemed to whisper. ‘It's too in the open'. But he didn't trust them. In fact, he hated them. They were why he stood here on this cliffside in the first place. But he trusted them, just this once. He then did what every such troubled person did- an act which one might not expect from a person in Khan's circumstances but witnesses it themselves. The scars he so exposed to the ocean were stifled; all trace of negativity retreating deep into his eyes like the clouds fled from the sun. Ironic, he though. The clouds are not even fleeing. But he quickly shook away the thought. He smiled. A mask- a mask of satisfaction and glee- rushed to fill the vacuum on his face. Why a mask? Well, to scream would be honest. To weep would be just. But neither would fix anything. A veil, a cloak… a mask. It might. He then turned his back to the ocean; Oh how he wanted to join its waves and foam! Dr. Sharma- the old doctor who never seemed to care nigh about his many patients, and stubbornly stuck to his daily routines no matter the disaster, which Khan supposed reassured him of his so-called sophisticated nature- called out from the other side of the pathway. ‘Namaste, young lad. How's the job been?' Khan just held back a scream. After all, the old doctor was not one to whom his grievances would make the slightest difference. Nor was anyone else who inhabited the village under the blessing of the noble Pandit Srijit. Society expected more patience from Khan- from a son of a father like his. ‘Acha Sahib'… Alas, ‘acha' was the furthest description Khan could think of explaining his circumstance. Alas, that was the whole reason he chose such an evidently insincere tone, allowing himself the slightest doubt that the old doctor would ask the matter. Alas, hope was all lost already. Khan continued his trek back, passing by the mandir in which his father preached; surrounded was he by gods. Khan sometimes questioned their authenticity-as sinful as it felt. Did the gods never bother prompting his father to ask just once about Khan? Well then, such gods meant nothing to him. The gods had gotten him nothing; why must he help them when there were a hundred other devotees? His father was no better than those statues of stone. He stepped into his room, the servants shrouding him with the many issues the people came with in the mere hour he left. Usually, he would listen to them one by one, formulating solutions until the night won him over; he would never hand out his share to anyone else. That night, however, he shunned them all and gave them directions to approach his father. He sat in his window and gazed out. He thought for a moment to take off the deceptive mask on his face; he decided against it. He smiled that night, his teeth showing complete and whole. Perhaps that was because of the mask, but he, that night, had a feeling the smile was genuine. His eyes then fixated on the stars, the blue four headed statue below did nothing but stare. The next morning, the news spread like light does from its source: the son of a father like his had died. When the people heard of all his troubles, even the gods didn't make their expressions any better. The answer was one and same: ' If only we knew, there was no sign at all!

Whenever undertakers show up people always try to avoid contact as if they bring death or something so growing up i thought death has to be a body six feet under, first time meeting death was grandpa's death all I remember is mama crying, aunt on the ground and people all over the place wearing black like ALOT surprisingly they were yapping and acting like its an occasion to catch up like nothing happened ,I was a bit confused why do you show up if you really don't care? two years passes and here we meet again this time with dad got a call at school to go see dad at the hospital same scene all wearing black but this time they were all crying as I entered on dad I saw him but it didn't feel like him he was so cold like he was really soulless fear found me that time i got out of the room got out away all what i could say that i am ok, i went to the only place where i knew i will not have to deal with it to the pool spent there all day from waking up till i go home to bed and with my sister of choice it felt like nothing happened. nationals coming i trained harder than ever as every time I entered the pool I swam as sharks were chasing the faster i go the more silence i had tired body yes but muted mind just a week before my race got chickenpox sitting alone between those 4 walls felt as a mice trapped with a cat that is trying to kill him my mind was merciless blaming me for everything i couldn't sleep for 3 days itching body crazy mind felt like that this my end till my girl stepped in and helped and helped me realize that its ok nothing happened because of me, days passed and as i got better i was offered a job as swimming coach accepted with no hesitation chlorine smell is back in my hair this time I am the mentor ,that was the best time of my life. That friend we started talking less but that's ok that how it have been around us since childhood we both knew as we meet it will be like we never left or at least that's what i thought as she started ignoring me something felt wrong the more i try to approach her she runs new semester started I saw her at school went to talk to her she ignored me again. I really don't know what did I do? I kept texting , calling ,sent her a video of younger us saying how we will be together forever she saw it and then responded with a react after 3 days, that when i knew she is no longer the same person found her at school after that hanging with girls she used to yap how much she disliked them I felt real betrayal how can she even do that to me I trusted her as a family even more she was more than blood to me and I was a part of her family too! that's a betrayal you forgot 15 years? crying laughing everything together and for what I really don't know what happened as time passed I drown myself in work but that wasn't even powerful enough I don't miss her at midnight i missed her in the most crowed places and in my biggest achievements she was missing her spot was empty and she is the only person I really want by my side . As I trained more swimmers there were grandma's who came to train as there grandchildren watched , introducing kids to the water and seeing the hunger in young swimmers there, sprinting with my whistle , they think i am the one who taught them something new but they are the ones who came to me with wisdom every swimmer has a story and a lesson for me to learn specially those adults . I finally reached peace and that I need to let people die stop chasing not only those who are 6 feet under put in by undertakers but also those who breath i realized the girl i knew is dead so I have to grieve it and honor our memories that new girl is some one i don't know anything about as she don't either soka my dog just died months ago she was my last shared memory with dad she went to be there with him and the girl I never imagined she won't be there to get me out or i won't be there in her wedding as we dreamed wasn't there. something I learned too that when someone dies you don't try to bring them back cause they will come as a ghost or a vampire and from we knew from drama they aren't much friendly(except if he was Niklaus Mikaelson of course) people are stages in life god send them to help you through something and then leave ,same thing with you .even if you thought they will stay forever; enjoy the moment while you can and make peace with death it means someone's message is delivered as all I said hurt but it developed my character maybe god took them away cause they won't fit in the next chapter it doesn't matter if they died in a grave or in life make peace with yourself as that's the only one who is not just a chapter its the hero of the story love him so you can make a rememberable character out of him. True death happens when you get forgotten.

Morning. I would wake up to the same darkness that had put me to bed. The same routine — studies, chores, work, sleep. My life was made of shadows, repetition, and silence. Until one day, a flicker of light found its way in. Despite my reluctance to continue studying, I couldn't convince my parents to let me drop out. I did, however, manage to register for all online courses that semester. I didn't want to go back to a place where I didn't belong — to sit among people I feared might despise me. When the semester began, I would only look at myself and the professor on my screen. That's how small my world had become — a dark world where I felt lonely, yet safe. Then came a message — a beam of light cutting through that darkness like a tiny, burning star. I had just shared my story of enduring discrimination in class, uncertain whether anyone would care, afraid it might sound “lame.” And then, out of nowhere, a guy I didn't even know messaged me: “I really love listening to you when you speak. You are such a beautiful person. A smile looks very beautiful on you. Please smile more often.” That wasn't the only one. More messages followed — kind, supportive, and encouraging. I could barely read them all before the session ended. For the first time in years, the very people I had shut out — the ones I believed couldn't be trusted — showed me compassion, care, and cheer. I hadn't even noticed their presence, yet they were quietly rooting for me. Then, in another course, a guy entered my life. A bit tanned, with a wide forehead, big ears, and an impressive British accent. He was the first one to speak in class — a total nerd. He came into my world when I had no intention of letting anyone in. But little did I know, he would be the one to bring color back into my world. He probably doesn't even know this — but loving him brought me back to life. He didn't just give my life meaning. He became the meaning at that point. He might even wonder what he did to deserve that place in my story. The funny thing is — he didn't do anything. He simply existed beside me, exactly as he is. I remember the first time I saw him in person at a debate session. I couldn't take my eyes off his. I was stunned — not by his looks, but by what I felt. I had seen many eyes on me before, but I had never enjoyed looking back. Yet with him, I did. When he walked up to speak and we stood face to face, eyes locked — time froze. The world fell away. It was just him. Once, I deliberately went to the library to “terrorize” him, jokingly. But he found me first. When I told him it was my birthday, he gave me gum and drew a bow on the wrapper — making me realize how little is enough to make one happy. That day, I defined happiness as his gum gift. I redefined adoration as the look on his face when I said, “You inspire me.” For the first time in my life, I felt something I thought I could never do — love. Undoubtedly. Unconditionally. Endlessly. Even though I never knew where it could lead. I had lost hope in people, trying my best to isolate myself. However, it was humanity, in its sense of love, trust, care, support, empathy, that brought me back to loving life. It revived my dreams, giving me the warmth of feeling alive again. It taught me that I am capable of loving without fear, trusting in goodness, and reaching for what I desire without hesitation. Now, I have the strength to live in the moment without the limits of the past, worries of future, hesitation, or fear of failure. I started to enjoy my studies and made it to the Dean's List for the first time that semester. I participated in events that I used to call “lame”, made friends, and gathered up enough courage to finally make a career change toward my dream job. Now, I'm not afraid or embarrassed to take small steps toward my desired future — because I know that, one day, I will carry and spread that hope in humanity that I received. It has to keep existing. Because humanity — in its highest and purest form — is what is needed for humans to go on. It is what will save the worlds trapped in darkness, emptiness, and hate. I know it — because you, humanity, saved me.

There are seasons of the soul that feel like eternal winter, where time collapses into a cold grey blur, and breathing becomes less of an instinct and more of a chore. In 2023, I found myself buried in that season. Not beneath snow, but beneath silence. Beneath pain so loud it numbed me. I was in a hole so dark, I forgot what light looked like. So dense, I questioned if it had ever existed. It wasn't that I wanted to die. It was that living became unbearable, an uphill drag with no summit in sight. I was not tired of life. I was tired in life. And so, in a moment that felt both ridiculous and holy, I made a deal with the universe: “If I'm meant to be here, if I'm meant to have joy, love, and everything I ache for, then I'm going to survive this. If not, let me go.” The truth is, I woke up. Not gracefully, not peacefully. I woke up heaving and shaking and vomiting, not from divine deliverance, but from a body refusing to surrender. And in that mess, in that ragged breath I didn't ask for, I found a strange kind of clarity. The universe may be broken. But so am I, and we're both still here. This survival was not a miracle in the traditional sense. There was no beam of heavenly light, no choir of angels. Just a girl, a stomach full of regret, and a life stubborn enough not to end. But here's the thing about being shattered: it makes you porous. And in being porous, you let the light in. That moment of survival became a turning point. I decided that if I could wake up from that, if I could find breath after begging for silence, then I could find joy too. Not all at once. Not without clawing and scraping and crying again. But I could find it. And I did. Now I carry a truth so heavy and so sacred, it demands to be shared: You will get everything you want from this life. But first, you have to survive it. There is a specific kind of courage that blooms in the depths. A choice that cannot be made when everything is fine. It is the choice of someone who has seen the edge, tasted the bitterness of despair, and still says, “I will try again.” I see this bravery not just in me, but in so many others. People I love. People I've held as they sobbed. People who have buried mothers, carried the weight of identity in an unkind world, fought addiction, held hands through heartbreak, or just quietly waged war against their own minds. Survival is not glamorous. It's often silent. But it's holy. To anyone reading this, to the version of me who needed to read this, I beg you: Choose life. Not just for the promise of happiness or success. Choose life because you are a soul that the universe allowed to borrow flesh, to step onto Earth and feel everything. The joy and the despair. The heartbreak and the euphoria. The hunger and the fullness. You are not here by accident. And even if you are, even if you are an insignificant speck in an ever-expanding cosmos, then doesn't that make this even more magnificent? That from dust and stardust and mystery, you got to be here? Your life may feel small. But it's yours. And within it, you can do anything. That's not motivational fluff. That's metaphysical fact. You are a flame wrapped in skin. You are a thunderstorm pretending to be ordinary. You are temporary, yes. But that just means the moments matter more. So make it worth it. Make your existence a rebellion against the void. Laugh loudly. Cry openly. Make art that no one understands. Love hard, even if you get hurt. Rest. Rage. Dream. Begin again. And again. Because if the universe is broken, then you get to be the glue. And if you are still here, it means your story is not done. There is more. More you. More life. More love. Choose to see the light, not just at the end of the tunnel, but within yourself. You are not alone. You are not done. You are the unlikely bloom in the deep, dark soil. And you are growing.

The bazaar was a mess of voices, feathers, dust, and sun-bleached tarpaulin flapping like broken sails. Here, amidst pigeons and the metallic clink of old coins, Sergey's stall stood at the edge of it all: a stubborn table of crooked legs and flaking paint, crowned with red and gold onions piled into slouching pyramids. He sat atop an upturned crate, squinting beneath the visor of a cap that had once belonged to his father, bracing for the next haggler to insult both his prices and his parentage. She came at the hour when the shadows began to shift: a woman in black, her habit catching the light like oilskin. A nun, unusual, but not unheard of. She approached his stall with quiet purpose, eyes scanning his products. “These are bruised,” she said, selecting one and turning it over. “They're onions,” Sergey replied, arms crossed. “You want silk, try the rug seller.” “They're soft,” she continued, ignoring his tone. “Not a single one firm.” She prodded another, then another. “I'll take three,” she said at last, withdrawing a purse from the folds of her coat. “But I'll pay seven.” “They're ten.” She met his gaze squarely. “They're seven.” He sighed, muttering curses under his breath, and began packing three of the least disfigured into a paper bag. At that moment, a boy approached, no older than nine, in a shirt too thin for spring and shoes that no longer deserved the name. He hovered near the edge of the stall, silent as a shadow, his eyes wide and dark. He didn't speak. Just looked; not at them, but at the onions. Sergey noticed him and barked, “Go on, move along. This isn't a museum.” The boy didn't move. His hands stayed in his pockets, but his gaze remained fixed on the lowest row of bulbs, as though memorising their shapes. The nun turned slightly, catching sight of him. “He's not harming anything,” she said mildly. “He's not buying anything either.” “Not everyone who comes to a market has coins.” “Then they shouldn't come.” The nun said nothing at first. Instead, she knelt — slowly, gracefully — and drew a small cloth sack from the sleeve of her coat. “How much for one more?” she asked. He raised a brow. “He's not yours.” “No,” she said. “But someone ought to feed him.” Sergey hesitated. He'd heard this tone before: soft, saintly, the kind that always expected an exception. “One more's another three.” She clicked her tongue in mock indignation. “Even bruised?” “Especially bruised.” She shook her head and counted out the coins anyway, pressing them into his palm with a smirk. While he wrapped the final onion, she turned to the boy and offered the paper bag. “There,” she said. “Don't drop them. They're expensive, apparently.” He reached out with trembling hands, clutching the parcel like it might vanish. He looked once at Sergey, once at her, and gave a barely audible “thank you.” But something else had happened, something Sergey didn't notice until they were both gone. The nun had lingered just long enough to distract him, asking about his stall, complimenting his scales, inquiring about the weather. Only when he sat back down did he realize what had happened. One of the bags near the edge was lighter — the one that hadn't yet sold — he counted the onions inside. Plenty missing. He stared for a long moment at the empty air where she'd stood. The boy was already gone. The bag of onions in his hand felt heavier now. He could report her. But to whom? And for what? Theft of a bulb? He scratched his chin. “Trickster nun,” he muttered, not without admiration. He reached into the crate and pulled out the best-looking onion of the lot. He set it aside on a clean napkin, then leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment, just listening to the pigeons above, to the coins clinking down the stalls, and to the faint echo of her voice saying, “They're seven.” He didn't know if she'd return. But the onion on the napkin stayed untouched until dusk — a small, firm hope beneath the pigeons and dust.

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This isn't my whole life story — just a chapter. And as they say, this too shall pass. If you came expecting the story of a successful man, well… success isn't the end. Even at the top, battles continue, reshaping the road ahead. Life breaks us quietly, piece by piece, until we forget who we were. But in the fall's silence, we find a voice we never knew we had. My name is Goutham Siva, and this is how losing everything led me to discover a strength I didn't know I had. On February 21, 2021, I left home with a suitcase full of hope and dreams bigger than my fears. I had just joined ZSMU in Ukraine to study medicine — a goal born from silent perseverance and a promise to myself. I come from a middle-class Indian family. As the only son, I understood the pressure I carried, even if unseen. For the first time, it felt like life was finally giving me a chance. Everything was falling into place — friendships, studies, future plans — until war knocked.I remember the laughter in our hostel halls, the dreams we stitched late at night — study plans, travel ideas, shared meals. These weren't just friends; they were giving colors to my black and white life, endorphins I never knew I had. On March 1, 2021, everything fell apart. The icy wind tore through my jacket as I stood at the border, clutching my passport like a lifeline. My friends and I huddled under one blanket on the cold station floor, like birds in a cage, waiting, unsure of what came next. Then a guard looked at us and said, “You're safe now.” But I wasn't sure what safe even meant anymore. In just a few days, I went from student with dreams to refugee with uncertainty in my hands. I left behind friends, classes, routines. Everything I had built — gone. I held on. For six months, I clung to online classes and fragile hope I could return. We stayed connected — calls, late texts — but reality closed in. The university asked us to transfer. Coming from a family where every rupee counts, it felt like everything my parents worked for was slipping away. Their sweat, savings, and belief — all in water. But fate didn't end my story — it rewrote it. I was given a painful gift: the chance to start again. A new country, a new system, a new language. Uzbekistan was unfamiliar. Bukhara State Medical Institute became my new battleground. This time, I wasn't just chasing a degree. I was honoring every sacrifice my parents had ever made. I was fighting for the version of myself that refused to be defined by loss. And honestly — I wanted to prove my existence. That I mattered. Strangely, that blank slate became my biggest blessing. I threw myself into everything — competitions, video projects, student activities. I entered an essay contest. No expectations, just heart. And I won. That win reminded me I still mattered — that I still had a voice. Then came a video Competition I filmed with nothing but passion. And when I stood with the rector, receiving first prize, I wasn't just smiling for the camera. I was smiling for the version of me that almost gave up. That moment wasn't just about the award — it was a silent, defiant message to everyone who ever doubted me. That video opened doors. I began working with the Youth Union, creating content for the university. I became a bridge between cultures, an international student coordinator. And with that, came my first stipend — a small reward, but a huge symbol of redemption. Then, one afternoon, something surreal happened. I was honored by the Minister of Health of Uzbekistan — handed a certificate, a bouquet, and a laptop. The certificate read: “For his exemplary behavior, dedication, and contribution to our University “ As I stood there, the weight of those words sank in. The boy who once stood at a border, unsure of his future, was now celebrated for shaping one. I realized I hadn't just survived — I'd contributed, grown, risen. You know what I've learned? Starting over isn't failure. It's the universe giving you a new canvas. Sometimes, the second masterpiece is more powerful than the first. Life isn't chess, where you win by taking down others. It's more like a journey — where the real victory comes from the friends you make along the way, the moments that shape you, and the scars that teach you how to fly. So if you're standing at the edge right now — unsure, broken, tired — know this: The hardest chapters often become the most powerful stories. That's where warriors are made. That's where you are made. The world may take everything from you — but it can never take your will to rise. I didn't get here alone. My parents' belief lit the way. My friends brought laughter when I forgot how. And every moment I wanted to quit, their love reminded me why I couldn't. And this — this is not the end. This is the part where I rise.

The Garden of Hope It was the time of the Second World War — a time when the sky was painted with ash, and hope was buried beneath the rubble of ruined homes. The world trembled under the roar of bombs, and humanity seemed to fade into shadows. In a small war-torn country, surrounded by enemy forces and abandoned by its own government, there lived a twelve-year-old girl named Luiza. War had stolen everything from her. Her father had died on the front lines, and her mother, frail and ill, perished in silence — starved and forgotten. All Luiza had left was a small notebook she carried everywhere. In it was an old photograph: her, her mother, and her father smiling in a peaceful garden — a memory untouched by war. Below the picture, in her mother's delicate handwriting, were the words: “Never give up, Luiza. You must live for all of us.” That notebook became her world — a place where grief and memory met hope and resistance. Luiza wrote in it every day: stories of loss, of neighbors disappearing, of bombs falling, but also of dreams — dreams not yet dead. One cold morning, the enemy broke through the city's final defenses. Soldiers flooded the streets like a merciless tide. But Luiza refused to run. Instead, she gathered the children of the neighborhood — frightened, hungry, barefoot souls — and whispered to them a plan. In the darkness of a basement, using scraps and rags, they crafted costumes. They rehearsed not a play, but a truth. A performance stitched from the pages of Luiza's notebook — a story of war, of love, of humanity. When the enemy marched into the central square, they found no resistance, no fire. Only children standing quietly on a makeshift stage. And then... the performance began. The Theatre Scene – A Performance of Truth (The children stand in position. Torn cloth as curtains. Broken crates as props. A hush fills the square. Luiza gives a silent nod. The play begins.) [A Girl (playing a mother) walks to center stage, holding a bundle of cloth like a baby.] Girl (Mother): (softly, rocking the bundle) “Hush now, little one. The bombs are far away tonight. Let's pretend we're in the garden… just you and me.” (pauses, then whispers) “But your papa… he won't be coming back. Not from the front.” [A Boy (playing a son) steps forward with a wooden toy soldier and a folded paper letter.] Boy (Son): (reading shakily) “Dear Papa, I fed your pigeons today. Mama says I should be brave like you. But Papa… it's so cold. And the sky keeps falling.” (chokes back tears) “I miss you more than I can say. I still sleep with your toy soldier. Maybe it'll protect me too.” [A Small Girl (playing a sister) joins with an empty plate in her hands.] Girl (Sister): “Do you remember soup, Mama? The real kind? We had it once… before the soldiers came.” (looks up) “If I could cook stars, I'd make you a bowl.” [A Boy (playing a neighbor) enters limping, holding a pair of broken shoes.] Boy (Neighbor): “They took my brother yesterday. He was just fourteen. He said, ‘Tell them I wasn't afraid.' I didn't get to say goodbye.” [All the children form a line, facing the soldiers. Luiza steps forward, holding her notebook. Her voice trembles but remains firm.] Luiza: (opens notebook) “This is our truth. Our story. We have no bombs, no bullets — only memories and dreams. But listen closely. Because dreams... can end wars.” (She reads aloud, voice rising with strength.) - “If even one heart still holds hope, this world is not doomed.” For a moment, everything stopped. A hush fell over the square. Then, an officer stepped forward, lowering his weapon. A tear slid down his weathered cheek. Officer: (softly, almost to himself) “She sounds like my daughter…” Another soldier followed, then another. Guns were placed on the ground — not in surrender, but in remembrance. What began as a child's play turned into a message the war could not silence. Soon after, peace negotiations began. A treaty was signed. The war, at least for them, was over. Years Later… Where the stage had once stood, a garden now bloomed. In the heart of it stood a house — full of laughter, music, and the scent of flowers. And in that house lived Luiza — no longer a lost girl, but a mother, a wife, a woman who had rewritten the story of her country. On the wall hung a faded photograph: a girl and her parents smiling beneath a tree. What was once just a picture... had become reality. It was the Garden of Hope.

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The northern lights skillfully danced across the night sky but Shifer took no notice. He scurried along the dimly lit street sticking to the shadowy fringes as much as he could. One couldn't be too cautious, especially with a reputation like his. Pausing for a moment, nose poised high in the air, he waited for a scent to guide him. There it was. He darted down an unusual alley, hunting for his evening meal. He had a feeling something special was on the menu tonight. The scent grew stronger. Fresh meat? A cunning smile spread across teeth as grimy as the pavement he stalked upon. It wasn't long before his dirty paws carried him right to the source of the smell, outside an old wooden door. A large basket sat on the pavement, unattended. How kind! He smirked and jumped up. As quickly as he landed, he reeled back in shock. Was that what he thought it was? He gingerly peeked over the edge of the basket. Brown smiling eyes looked back at him as two chubby little feet kicked around. A baby! Why was it alone? Didn't the parents know what could happen? He shuddered at the thought. He might steal from other rats but he wasn't an animal! Spying a note on the side of the basket he crept closer while keeping a wary eye on the baby. His English wasn't well-polished but he could decipher a few words. ‘Can't look after… please take my baby…' Abandoned? He thought of his own past of being the runt of the litter. His family had left him for dead one cold February night when he was just a wee rat and he had been fending for himself ever since. As difficult and lonely as it had been, at least he was able to care for himself. He knew this little one wouldn't have the same fate without help. No, he must do something. But what? He pondered aloud what to do, his squeaking making the baby giggle with delight. All of a sudden the hairs on his neck began to prickle and stand up on edge. He paused, eyes darting around him as he listened. No, it didn't seem anyone was there. He looked down to the child again as she smiled up at him. Shifer did his best to smile back. Most said his smile could make milk curdle, but this little one didn't mind it at all. His heart just began to melt when his beady eyes detected movement to his left. Four figures slunk up the pavement silently like the descending of darkness. ‘Holding out on us again I see, Shifer,' sneered the huge black ringleader as they surrounded the basket. ‘You obviously didn't learn your lesson last time. I told you what would happen if you crossed us again.' ‘This isn't ours to have. Leave the poor thing alone, Vladelets.' ‘I don't think so. Now get out of here before we eat you first, traitor,' hissed Vladelets, his anger boiling over. Time was running out. Shifer desperately looked up at the oak door, willing someone to come out. Nothing. Seeing no way out an unfamiliar courage rose within him. He let out a blood-curdling squeal. Vladelets greedy eyes widened with surprise. His head cocked on one side and he glared at Shifer. What was he playing at? Neither of them noticed the child's eyes widening or her sudden quick shallow breaths. Like the firing gun the babies scream pierced the silent night. The ringleaders eyes flashed red with rage and he lunged toward the offending rat. Running for his life, Shifer had a fleeting moment of hope. He might just make it out of here alive. Searing pain rippled through his haunches as four sets of teeth sunk into him. ‘What on earth...' muttered a startled voice, as the door flew open. ‘Dmitri, come see!' The gang of rats leapt off Shifer and fled at the sight of the human, leaving him alone in the shadows. The woman bent down and tenderly lifted the child from the basket just as a man appeared beside her in the doorway. ‘Yulia, it was just this morning we prayed…' The man's voice was thick with emotion as they stared at the child in amazement. Shifer strained to stay awake, watching the scene play out before him under the backdrop of the shifting purple and green aurora. The man and woman hovering over the child, stroking her softly until her cries stopped. The baby sniffling quietly, snuggling into the woman's arms. The feeling of love and hope for the future settling over them all like a blanket. It made Shifer feel warm and safe. As he slipped away from consciousness a slight smile spread across his lips. He was no longer a coward nor traitor. He had given his life to save another. The last thing he saw was those big brown eyes looking down at him. Thanking him.

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If you can fill your heart with compassion for friend, foe and stranger alike; if you can out of your soul hatred strike and instead resolve kindness to fashion… If you can embrace with every fibre of your being empathy for each suffering living thing; if your soul can of love and tolerance sing and vow to only the good in all be seeing… If you can sincerely forgive and forget every slight and slur hurled like words of stone darts; if you succeed in mending broken hearts and offer solace to those running in fright… Then have you conquered your nature cynical, Raised your mere humanity to heaven's pinnacle.