Blinded

There's a time where you don't realize words people say to you blind you. You're blinded by how you think you feel; instead of reality. I remember the day I fell in love with him, he fixed my heart when it was broken, the later broke it in more pieces than before. He approached me at the park. A tall guy with dark brown skin, bushy dark eyebrows, with a flat top style. Small eyes, thick curly eyelashes. And dimple in his right cheek. “On some s*** you cute.” He had some hood slang to him that I liked, but I was focused on the first words he spoke, how they were rude, no “Hey, how are you?” or “How's your day.” “Thanks,” I say and go back to looking down at my phone. He asks for my number. “How old are you?” “16. How ‘bout you?” “I'm 13, “You don't want to talk to me anymore, huh?” “I got you luh mama. I'll text you later.” He walks away and I realize I just gave a complete stranger my number. At home, I get a text received from a number with an out of town area code. “Hey. This ol' dude from the park.” As much as I wanted to, I didn't respond as quickly, but about five minutes later. He asked what I was doing and I told him laundry. and he tells me his name. I asked to call him because I didn't feel like texting. When he called, I hesitated to answer but was so anxious to continue talking to him. We spent hours on the phone, just getting to know each other. Laughing, comparing ourselves. We talked like we knew each other for years rather than a day. I have been talking to this guy for six days, almost a week, and it seems like six years. I have found out so much about him. I felt as if he was a con-artist because of so amazing he was, and I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship. I am out at the mall with my friends thinking about this dude I've known for six days. The day is November 10, the day we make your friendship into a relationship, the day I say “I love you” back to him. Three months later, my ex texts me. The guilt I felt, the horrible memories of our relationship. But one text can change everything. He told me how he missed me, and how he wished things wouldn't have ended. He opens up on what caused our relationship to stop and I, remembering how in love I was with him, consider getting back with him, knowing I'm already in a relationship. I don't do it, I don't cheat, but I loved both guys equally at the time. One week later, I remember how much I am in love with Corey and how I missed him so much in that period of time we stopped talking. Everything was good for the next few months. The guy met my family, and everything was going right. Too good to be true, but it was. He made me smile every day, boosted my confidence, and made me laugh. I felt so lucky to have him in my life. I was so happy that he was mine and I was his. So grateful to him for being my best friend and lover. I told him everything. There were no arguments just jokes and comments. He was there for me when no one else ways and vice versa. Seven months into our relationship. Our conversations are dry and aren't as alive as they use to be. His tone when he would talk to me is as if I bother him with the words I speak. He finally texts me the words that killed me. “I can't do this anymore.” My heart drops, and eyes tear up. I respond with, “Wdym, this better be a prank. HAHA, funny u got me.” I knew deep down he was serious. It all made sense with all the ways he was different, and how he was avoiding me. I tell him “Answer me.” “The love just isn't there how it use to be. I just feel no connection. I'm sorry.” I think- Don't tell me this lie. How are you sorry when you said to me you wouldn't put me through what I already went through? You promised to love me always and forever and no matter what obstacle, we could get over it. After, everything seemed normal, like everything was going to be okay. We would make it up to a year, no doubt. I felt that our relationship was stronger than ever, with all the things that happened between us. But I was blind. Only five days until we make ten months together, two months before a year. This was my second and longest relationship. So happy with the time we had together, all the laughs and embarrassing pictures. September 5th, the day he really ends it. He avoided me, just short conversations through text messaging. But I didn't see where it was going, I figured he wanted some time to himself, but I was blinded. I was blinded that this happened before when he said he didn't love me, from when he told me the connection was longer there and he wanted to move on. But I forced him to stay with me and give a second chance. Only this time it killed me hit me directly in the heart. He just kept saying how he didn't feel like talking anymore, how things have to end. How he can't do it anymore. I tell him how he made me so happy like I was in the fairytale I always dreamed of being in. But it was the end. The day was September 6, 2018. The day I gave up on love.

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