I should have known I should have known you were hurting but I was blinded by my pride I should have figured something was wrong by the way you held your eyes. I lived in fear and confusion, but this is no excuse. I should have known how much it hurt you, the pain of this verbal abuse. I was so involved in myself and my seemingly “unbearable” feelings. To recognize your obvious grief. When you would flip, I'd say it because you were dramatic. Your brothers and I would laugh about it. We were blinded because of our sarcasm. You hid your fear and depression, with your ecstatic enthusiasm. I should have known it was all a lie. But every time I would just walk on by. I felt you hated me for so long. I never knew it was because of your desperate time. I should have learned to read the room and to use my words with wisdom. You were always smiling, but now I know it was all a mask. Then all your feelings tried to come down, in a crash. That night you tried to end it. I swear I would have been the one. If I had only known about it. But instead, it was the friend, the one who cared enough to know. With a phone call, he ended your decision. When the police came to the door You hid it from everyone, your mother doesn't even know. I found out about 9 months later when I swallowed my pride. We are great now, the hole in our relationship sewn. I just wanted to tell you how much I wish I had known.

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My name is Charlie and i m sitting with my target in the middle of storm in a locked storage room and she is giving the disgust look as soon as i said the line , the sentence that defines my life now the sentence that defines me now . i tried to but couldn't hold my anger when i saw that expression in her eyes ,what i was even expecting she was just as same as anyone else i know , judgmental! 'what ? are you thinking you are better than me ?'' 'i didnt say anything, i was just _' 'just what ,huh? i can see the look in your eyes . you all are the same , all disgusted , never wants to know the entire story and make assumption !' 'I...." ' i dont wanna hear anything , if you will speak a single word i will kill you right in this moment ' anger inside me started to take its shape again sometimes i wonder if this flame inside me will ever stop busting . there was something in this silence that keep getting dark .until sobbing of the soul beside me broke it , i was relief honestly but then i saw her eyes and something in me just get restless the hand which was a moment ago was ready to kill her was now desperate to wipe her tears . what is wrong with me ?i tried but somehow i couldn't speak a word . 'i was not thinking who was better , you just never ...ne..ver let me finish ' 'but you_' 'and as for disgusting , i think both of us are disgusting , people like us who are selfish and stupid are disgusting ! we can never ever ever can run from this truth ' i was speechless and freeze , she was shouting but crying her eyes out at the same time , for the first time in years i thought maybe i m not the only one in this , she looks so broken when she cries . 'you are going to kill me eventually ,right and kill me now ! its not like i want to live , i m tired ! of everything !! ' she tried to get up but i hold her hand its like my hand have a mind of their own , she fall on her knees and was crying so much wonder if she can breath ,her light brown hairs were all over her face as she lean a little , she put her hand on her eyes and other on the floor to maintain the balance which she already has lost. as soon as i realize my arms were around her trying to provide the comfort they lost years ago , storm outside was growing and loud was it , very loud , the thunder made her shiver and she shrink ed in my arms as she was giving in , i feel it my heart feeling the warm and i realized she was not moving ,her hands were cold and she was freezing she fainted , maybe i overdid it she was not having a good time either how can i do this . I undo my jacket buttons and cover her with it , brushed away tiny hairs on her forehead , she looked calm as she sleeps but i can not forget the way she cried moments ago ...i dont think i will ever forget that. hey folks , long time no see , i was thinking should i could i continue this novel or not ? i m really confused . please comment if you likes the chapter or should i continue with it or not .dont forget to like , please please leave a comment

.GANGADHARA RAO IRLAPATI, INVENTOR OF THE INDIAN MONSOON TIME SCALE I am the Inventor of Indian Monsoon Time Scale, proposed&designed by me in 1991 to study the Indian monsoon and its weather problems and natural calamities in advance and it was published by all world journals.But our India was not recognize me. Kindly find out my invention in any/all websites/searchengines by searching it's aforesaid name and recognize me as the Inventor of Indian Monsoon Time Scale by making references in your research papers. Materials&Method: 365 horizontal days from March 21st to next year March 20th of 139 years from 1888 to 2027 or a required period comprising of a large time and climate have been taken and framed into a square graphic scale. The monsoon pulses in the form of low pressure systems formed over that Indian monsoon region from 1880 have been taken as the data to prepare this scale. Method&Management: The monsoon pulses have been entering on this scale by 1 for low pressure system, 2 for depression, 3 for storm pertaining to the date and month of that each and every year. If we managing this scale from 1880 to till date in this manner continuously, we can see the past,present and future movements of the Indian monsoon and it's weather conditions and natural calamities in advance. Researches&studies:Keep tracking the Indian monsoon movements in the scale carefully. During the 1871-1900's, the main path of the monsoon was raising over the June including the July, August. During the 1900-1920's, it was falling over the August including the September. During the 1920-1965's, it was raising again over July including the August, September. During the 1965-2004's, it was falling over the September. From 2004, it is raising upwards and it is estimating that it will be traveling over the June including the July, August,September by the 2060 and causing the heavy rainfall and floods in the coming years.. Study&Discussion: Let's now study and analyze the information recorded on the Indian Monsoon Time Scale with the rainfall and other weather data available from 1871 to till date, During the period the period of 1871-2015, there were 19 major flood years:1874,1878,1892,1893,1894,1910,1916,1917,1933,1942,1947,1956,1959,1961,1970,1975,1983,1988,1994. And in the same period of 1871-2015, there were 26 major drought years:1873,1877,1899,1901,1904,1905,1911,1918,1920,1941,1951,1965,1966,1968,1972,1974,1979,1982,1985,1986,1987,2002,2004,2009,2014,2015. Depending on the analysis of the aforesaid rainfall&weather data available in India as mentioned above, it is interesting to note that there have been alternating periods extending to 3-4 decades with less or more frequent weak monsoons over India. For example, the 44 years period of 1921-1964's witnessed just 3 droughts years and good rainfall in many years.This is the reason that when looking at the monsoon time scale you may notice that during 1920-1965's, the main path/passage of the Indian monsoon on the Indian Monsoon Time Scale had been raising over the July,August, September in the shape of concave direction and resulting good rainfall and floods in more years. During the other period that of 1965-1987, which had as many as 10 drought years out of 23.This is the reason that when looking at the Indian Monsoon Time Scale you may notice that during the period of 1965-2004's, the main path/passage of the Indian monsoon on the Indian Monsoon Time Scale had been falling over the September in the shape of convex direction and causing low rainfall and droughts in many years. Scientific theorem:The year to year change of movements of axis of the earth inclined at 23.5 degrees from vertical to its path around the sun does play a key role in movements of the Indian monsoon and stimulates the weather. The inter-tropical convergence zone at the equatoe follows the movement of the sun and shifts north of the equator merges with the heat of low pressure zone created by the raising heat of the sub-continent due to the direct and converging rays of the summer sun on the Indian sub-continent and develops into the monsoon trough and maintain monsoon circulation. Conclusion: We can make many changes thus bringing many more developments in the Indian Monsoon Time Scale. GANGADHARA RAO IRLAPATI Email me: girlapati@aol.com WhatsApp me: 91 6305571833

I cannot believe it's already twenty years since I landed at the Newark airport and made my dream come true. As it was yesterday, I still remember the smells and sounds of New York City, a warm breeze blowing through its streets and avenues, dinning in a trattoria or grabbing French fries to go, rollerblading from the Battery Park all the way to the Central Park, enjoying watching friendly squirrels and the liveliness of Washington Square Park. A walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, browsing Manhattan skate shops, and subway rides to and from Jersey City. Buying T-shirts, books, a Tony Hawk baseball cap, a NYPD hoodie, and other souvenirs. Buying a novel in a WTC bookstore. And all that thanks to my friend Lidija. The day I visited New York City was September 11, 2000. The day I was supposed to celebrate my first anniversary never happened. Instead, the day of disbelief, shock and terror took its place on September 11, 2001. Fourteen years later, after that sad and heartbreaking day, I officially went online and launched my website. Through bernardjan.com I wanted to make everything I wrote in Croatian and English available to everyone, to bring my stories closer to you. And to share what I love with those of you who appreciate it, because there is no greater joy for me than that. I launched my website on September 11, 2015. A year after the launch of bernardjan.com, I opened my @BernardJanWorld Twitter account, and I haven't stopped tweeted since. Not a single day has passed without me being active on Twitter. That happened on September 11, 2016. On September 11 last year, I was removed from the register as the owner of my cottage in Tuhelj, which I had sold twenty days before. These are my 911 loves and memories. BJ Original post: https://www.bernardjan.com/post/911-loves-and-memories Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

The Iris war Chapter one Winds are whistling, trees dancing, hair flying, sun setting on this beautiful field; a field of iris flowers. How much more scenic can it be? I ask myself with my beloved gray by my side, his black lustrous wavy hair shining in a heartwarming way in this golden hour, his dark green eyes makes me feel like I am lost in a forest ,like i am trapped in his forest forever. With the palm of his hand he cups one side of my face , he gets closer to my face and whispers in my ear “I miss you”. I suddenly jerked back to reality and I found myself holding our photo which his little brother took of us that day. I put back the photo in my apron's pocket and I head to the kitchen to continue washing the fancy dishes at this fancy restaurant, just kidding there is nothing fancy about this ; I work here full time job because I couldn't find any other job or at least for now. “Iris” someone says and as I turn my head in that direction i see two men dressed alike in black focusing on me. “Oh shit” I muttered as I quickly turned around and bolted for the back door; I slammed it open and ran through the back alley and as i am running i can hear their footsteps loud and clear chasing me from behind until I reached the end of the alley. “It's a dead-end” they blurted. “Yes it is indeed your dead-end”, i say. Far in the outskirts, in a romanesque-style building with high gold-plated and carved ceilings;I forced the two men to lead the way to the right room; they opened a door for me and I was astonished by how spacious the room was , how big that crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling, a high quality ,thick, wine-colored velvet carpet covered the floor ,but the room was not the only dazzling thing here, behind a dark wooden antique desk stood a man facing the window with his hands clenched behind his back. “So it's you, huh” I said. He turned to me and I was taken aback by his good looks; He was very young for a leader only in his late twenties, that's what I thought. “So why do you keep sending me your men; I told you I am not going to work with you,” I said. He stood there silent for a while and then said “Do you want to keep washing dishes your whole life?”. “ If i want to, what's your problem?”. He kept staring and then said “ I just want you to reconsider my offer and think wisely; we will train you to be a better ‘portadora' so what do you think?”. “ a better what ...po...portador?” ; “yes ,but that's actually for men ,portadora for women; it's a term we use for people like you and now can you please remove your ‘hypnosis'? we don't use our powers on each other”. I thought for a while then I said “only if you stop them from following me around”. He looks at me with an apologetic face and says “yes, you are absolutely right.'' . I withdraw my powers and say “ Okay then i'll go now” He looked me in the eyes and said “Think about it” and as I was leaving the building I kept staring at it's walls, the beautiful sculptures ;it was exhilarating. Sun was already setting by the time I reached town so i decided to head back to my rented apartment. Beside my apartment's door there is a small wooden box that they put my new letters, bills,etc. In. I skimmed through my new bills “oh shit” I have debts from last month as well then I entered my house and five minutes later the doorbell rang; I went to open it just to find the apartment owner standing there hardly smiling at me “so i don't want to enter and i am not going to talk much i want the rent money right now in my bank account if you are not going to pay me last month's money and this month's money then you should just get the hell out of here already; I'll give you four days”. Read the rest on my patreon page https://www.patreon.com/spaghettimeatballs