The struggle

It all started when I finished high school. At that time, I did not have a concrete plan of what I should do ; I just studied well so i can study medicine in the UK. When I look back now, lots of things led to me being here. In 2015, after graduating high school I started contacting universities in UK ,but to no avail and time just flew by; one year passed while trying in all possible ways to study medicine there until a staff member of a certain university told me frankly it's hard to be accepted in medicine in UK and it was extremely expensive for me as well .A year passed by which was devastating because I had this thought that I should apply right after high school like all other students ingrained in my mind. I started to think differently that I wanted to be satisfied with what I am doing, feeling fulfillment by helping others. Something that by the end of my life makes me think like ‘yes I've spent 100000 hours doing this job' so I decided to study medicine in turkey and I became even more confident about what I want; I applied to a university and was accepted ,but then my father had a financial problem so later by the help of my mother I applied in another university which i believe now is better. I was the type of kid who was very dependent on her parents' money to study in school and university; don't get me wrong I am not spoiled or anything i was just raised like that; i was young after all and I was never pushed to the edge as now to start working and earning my own money ,to stand on my own two legs. I always wanted to be independent financially ,but not like this; I had a robotic way of thinking of getting my degree first then start to depend on myself. After graduating from school, I took two gap years, two years of anyone's most precious time “youth”. When I finally started university I was 21 by then, the emotions I went through those two years were horrible; I was really depressed seeing everyone from school going to universities except me; it left a huge impact on my personality, for some people this might look trivial ,but for me it was my future; it was everything on stake simply because there was no other way for me to study medicine unless i travel abroad and to study medicine in a private university which is not cheap. I started thinking will i even start studying in a university; I did not want to study in my country because that would mean I'll just study business and stay in my shell. I wanted to travel and experience everything that comes with traveling from depending solely on my self to having new friends, new encounters, meeting people with different views on life from different cultures which eventually happened. In my teens, I used to watch lots of Turkish dramas which made me want to learn Turkish language and go to Turkey as a tourist ,but never thought of coming here as a student. In the two years, I had taken a Turkish language course; it was a nice experience to learn Turkish which helped me later on when I decided to go to Turkey. In 2017, I finally started university and yes my financial problem was not yet solved not even till now, but somehow the ship sailed although I still have debts to my university. Now I should be in 3rd year, but that's still vague because my financial problem got worse; it's this year that I started to think out of the box when the pressure inside was too much for me to handle. It's these kinds of situations that actually make us who we are and know how to tackle our problems. This summer because of the pressure of the makeup exam which if I failed would mean I lost another year and the money problem; I had decided to start working already.One thing led to the other; in my gap year I used to read comics and novels so I thought why not start writing and publishing a novel online myself; I started entering contests such as this one and I also started my own comic with a collaboration with a comic artist which I hope will be published soon. Yes, I accept what is happening with me, but that doesn't mean I should give up; It only means I should try harder until I get that degree. Indeed moving to another country now after I settled here is not easy furthermore it was hard for me to be emotionally stable because as much as I wanted to travel abroad, in my first year reality hit me hard and I started missing my family and I even regretted coming to Turkey ; I was very depressed, but that all subsided now; I became more independent; I have friends who stood beside me and made me feel as if they were my second family here. As I am writing this ; it strikes me how much I've changed through these last couple of years into a mature, strong-willed woman from just an indecisive high school girl, so if someone is reading this who went through a bad experience don't worry, you're not alone and always remember it's all for your best because believe me you will flourish into something really beautiful and remember everything happens for a reason.

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