I was teary eyed. My fight had fallen to grips of sorrow. Too much pain not enough joy to borrow let alone call my own. I sold my soul for a fist full of charcoal. My gift was to cash this check given to me by him. The light will one day dim. Suffering is crucial to life, joy, and grief. Watch as the final leaf falls. I adore all, all my friends, my foes all which I know by their names. The truth is that we do not exist. The truth is that pain is the closest we will ever come to being real. I feel sorrow from a far. I feel pain as people's lives wax and wane. Am I sane am I gone will I ever live long enough to be a don. Will I have a son will I have a daughter. My heart is mangled my mind is twisted. I am a fragment of what I once was. I am a swing without a child to play on me. See all things that are and you will near zero. Truth is zero does not exist. I believe not in evil. But if evil does not exist do I. I wish to travel the world fly above all things and smile. Maybe then may I be happy may I be sane. This dam of mine is falling and I will not live long enough to have someone to call darling. Tomorrow may come undone. Maybe tomorrow will be the end of me because of that I must seep in the cracks and only then may I live. These days have made me mad, and Iron Clad. Will I ever marry? Will I see my wife or husband? Who is to know if I will ever see the sky with my name etched on it? The shade is wise. Wiser than us all and I will never see its beauty. I will never see what pain and joy truly are. I am willing to be my own martyr I will feast on only fodder. These clovers in front of me do not wish to live or give a wish. Dare I dare to give my life for this world? This life of mine has seen the flames of the sun, and it has come undone. The shadow is cool but you cannot live in darkness. This softness of this girl is as close to perfect that I have ever seen. While I remain dark, and this mark of mine will be my victory. So I say as I end this; look past the joy, and see the dark.