Onion side of social media

Onion side of social media Yes, onions. Remember that colleague who's just had that potato onion sandwich...or burger or whatever. Who comes slowly closer to you after lunch to explain something. Ughh!! You flinch…only u know in the world what you suffer at that moment. You feel like scratching out the head of this colleague (So much for the formal demeanor u hold in office). You fear that if you scratch the head out, there will be a lot more of that onion smell. Onions everywhere. Your thoughts shock you. You thought of murder and only onions stopped you. Murder or onion? Which is more lethal? You got the answer my friend. Onions!! So what is it about this pale vegetable that makes it so attractive to slice and eat it ourselves, but brings immense misery when someone else has it. That stinking smell. Strong, needed to please the taste buds, but so horrible to get a whiff of. Sorry. Enough of onions. I am extremely sorry I put you through this, for no fault of yours. I could only think of this when I thought of the flip side of social media. Everytime I think of discussing a serious matter, some mundane comparison comes to my mind. And I have to hide a laugh. What will people think. I thought in childhood. There was a fear that if I burst out laughing in the midst of a serious discussion, I would be scolded and punished. At times I did bear the brunt of it. But the comparisons didn't die. They kept growing funnier, as if some giggly stuff in my mind. Slowly I gave up being fearful of peoples reaction to my hidden giggles, or rather they gave up on me! So today I am into comparing onions with second side of social media. It all starts with that one profile you make, a facebook profile, a watsapp id, an instagram account. And there you are! Like a baby crab suddenly left behind by that big wave on the seashore. You are that crab yes, for all to see. This is just the start. There is this red carpet treatment you get at the start. People coo- cooing how they missed your friendship! (?) Long standing school, college, office, neighborhood friends. Even that classmate you secretly wanted to skin alive, is crying how they missed you all these years. You wave back, like back. Small crabby eh baby steps. Then all of a sudden you are in the sea, sea of pictures. The pictures of all those people you left behind in life for good and prayed they never meet you in hell again, are grinning back at you on earth itself. That school teacher who gave you that humiliating punishment in front of all, is alive and kicking. Whats more, you have to accept her friendship request and like her entire familys pics. That childhood neighbor who is the only living evidence of all your awkward growing years is back, reminding you of each embarrassing moment with an oh! Those were the days sigh. You smile back sheepishly. Why didn't they teach to strangulate living beings in school, your murderous thoughts are back again. People are born innocent, they live innocent, social media makes them criminals. Then there are the whatsapp groups. Congratulations! Today is that day when your graduation ceremony hat and robe will be taken away from you and you will be made to sit back in class with the same hooligans who sneered at you back then. So here you are, wishing their birthdays, nice pic comments on their anniversary pics, and so on. You realize you are still bad at the things you were bad at, in school and college. These guys are still good at playing one up over you and make you feel as useless as you felt back then. Your old time sympathizers are back too, this time with cute beer bellys, they give you some solace and remind you to bite into your burger. The instagram pics, numerous of all occasions. You wonder people are going to places or only clicking pics. The beautiful foreign destinations half hidden by the familiar teeths of your friends. They are all smiling pictures. Why would anyone be straight faced on a vacation right? No one suffers from journey exhaustion here. And no one has to rush to the washroom either. Everyone is picture perfect happy. Wonderful lives, perfect homes, perfect partners, sweetest kids. Exciting lives. Interesting events. You better smile too my friend, forget the onions for now, click click. Your picture is good. You are on social media!!

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