My heart used to pound at the thought of seeing them, my face would burn bright red and I would quickly lose my train of thought, I had ideas trapped in my head with no way to release them into the world, no way to bring them to life and let them control me. I wasn't quite sure if I have the right to feel or keep these thoughts in my frozen brain, everyone is looking at me waiting for my words to be told, I wasn't sure if they are ready to hear them but positive whispers get close to my ears telling me how unique my topic is, and even if my words hurt the truth must always be accepted by everyone. I was hoping to inspire my peers and take advantage of every second in every moment because we need every inch in life. I'm walking to the podium on the stage in the big room, my hands fluttering the papers clenched tightly between my fists, my voice shook and the words start coming out silently, slowly, and then perfectly. People actually care to know what I had to say except the haters"THE GROUP". The Group was there my heart starts to pull up, their eyes were directed to me and the speech was made for them, yes today is the day no more fear anymore. My memories start coming to my head, as they were recorded scene after another, how they used to bully other students, how they loved the idea of being the best RICH group in High school, a group where their requests considered as orders, no rejection no detention no restriction, We were stuck in their Crystal Maze. I started seeing and feeling the scene when I was studying so hard to get good grades, while the glitterati was having parties and leisure without bothering themselves to study anything because they are already in a straight A+ team no judgment no inquiry and no objection. And the saddest scene was when I was checking their Instagram and see how they were squandering money and traveling wherever they want with a huge amount of delicious food. I literally cried when I have seen this, especially when I have been tagged with an embarrassing naming. #Here's How Money BUYS You Happiness (WEIRDO NERD). looked in the sky and with an immersed tears I said: "Why money goes to this kind of people, isn't money made for those who need it, aren't we suppose to use it in an appropriate way, am I wrong as usual, I'm not saying give it to me God, I just wish that poor people get what they really deserve. I have never complained about anything God, I have always accepted all my struggles, problems, and the idea of not having parents or this amazing life, why them not someone else?" Yes, my speech was a bunch of harsh memories but the good thing is that I get used to it, because I'm finally graduating and I have learned a lot of beautiful lessons. The only thing I regret is the way I talked to God about stupid things, that I thought it is going to bring me happiness. I started giving my last words, suddenly something has sparked my interest, it was actually a girl who was crying during my speech, I realized that she was a reflection of my feelings and my thoughts that I was too afraid to say too blind to notice that world is listening and too deaf to hear my own voice. I wanted to end this speech but after seeing her I knew that she was a victim of self-esteem problems because of some stupid people; so I decided to go for some additional spiritual words that were not in my speech. I wanted to remind them all, that we can shake mountains with our minds by sharing our ideas to change the world into a better place where everyone is equal. because I believe that every individual has a valuable opinion but it takes Drive and Confidence to express it. These were my last words in High school where I finally had the chance to express and release what had always made me sad and uncomfortable. After one year, 2020 had knocked our doors, I finally went to college, at the beginning we all thought that it is going to be another perfect year full of success and happiness where we will see same people traveling, celebrating, and working to get more. but life, as usual, keeps surprising us with a long rest from humans, but no one knows till when... Last month I got horrible news from my friend, she told me that the RICH GROUP that used to bully us, is in the hospital right now and Adam had died, and the reason is one of their friends gets affected by the virus and he transmitted the infection to everyone in the group. I did not know what to say whether to feel sad or happy about what happened to them, but the day when they have tagged me to see how much money can bring happiness was one of the toughest moments that I have experienced in my life? A great lesson had been taught that day because I've realized that nothing lasts forever and no matter what can money bring, always put hope in other things as they say: "a small leap of faith has made all the difference". ask yourself this question always: It is right that money brings happiness but TILL WHEN?
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