I combed my hair with my hand as it tried to cover my whole face then I realized that my hair has grown way too long. I have been stuck in the same place for more than three months while I can't complain since it's for the better. No one is allowed to go outside until everything comes fine. I've been lonely but not depressed. Am I the only one having this feeling right now? You know the answer and it's okay. Time has been so useless for me these days, and all I can distinguish is the difference between day and night. My fingers continued to linger through the keyboard as I feel the intense heat in our country. It is supposed to be our wet season, but summer is extending its period. Maybe the weather is helping us fight against our pandemic? The virus can't survive in hot temperatures, right? Maybe yes, maybe no because the number of cases in our country is still increasing. At the wall, the window appears lonely as it feels ignored. The school is quite near to our house and I was supposed to hear jeers of students going home. The busy street, the honks, and the beeps made by the tricycles make everything appear eerie. Those messy and loud sounds make me much more spirited in doing stuff. Who would have thought that someone will miss such noise? Moreover, I had finished my school requirements and already got the grades for the last semester. I can say that my grade and the situation right now have a thing in common- terrible. I am curious how they came up with those grades but I will just accept those since I was able to pass. For now, I doubt that the process of schooling will be decent. I sleep in the afternoons and stay at late evenings or even early mornings just to finish all these school works and other unnecessary things required. Internet connection has always been annoying in our country. Now, we have three things that share one characteristic. Whatever happens, I hope and do possible things to continue learning and make the best out of these things. Moreover, I have been doing a lot of things these days. I've been trying to cook. I boil eggs, noodles and fry hotdogs too. I have been trying to paint and still hoping for an improvement day by day. I read a book every early morning as I feel soothed when the cold air perches on my epidermis. The not so bright saturation of light made it more comfortable for my eyes to search every word. The aroma of the coffee will even make it better as I start my new undated time of my life. The next hours of my life come boring. I watch a lot of videos since I think it's a thing that I can indulge myself with something. I grab a chair and fix myself at an angle. I adjust my body every few minutes until I get comfortable with my sitting. I grab a snack whenever I feel hungry. Later, I can feel myself regretting because everything I ate is a junk. I watch documentaries and self- help videos too. Adulting is quite hard, but I hope that we will successfully handle it. At times, I tend to walk a few steps and think about everything. I wonder and comprehend about possible answers then I become curious about everything that comes on my mind. I quickly grab my phone to check my notifications. I scroll over my social media news feed as I try to read every headline of the post. Every news seems to be depressing and bewildering at the same time. The largest media company in our country has been shut down by decision with hints of politicization and doubt. The decision came out, but all we can do is to follow. Some people lost jobs, hope, and lives, wishing to give nothing but only the best for their families. The continuous cycle of life came to a pause. All became busy looking for other opportunities out there. How will you feel being in this pandemic situation and losing your professional job at the same time? I know, these intense emotions right now are great signs for a gem hidden for us to search in our lives. I feel bad sitting here while the other people thrive to survive. I feel thankful and guilty at the same time. May we do our best to help and pray for all people. These too shall pass. These things will help us. I know it is hard, but let us look at the brightest side of everything. Everything is so hard to explain right now, while other things come unexpectedly. This situation has brought us to a new level of perspective towards life, but we must be able to learn from it. Some people mourn while others try to celebrate at the same time. Some people cry while others try to catch their breath to survive. Some people laugh to make ease of the pain engraved in their hearts, and some people are still clueless about the next step to apply. I peeked out of the window, and I saw the clouds- a flying object without wings staying calm above the ground.
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